The Pit of My Darkness

What you read in this blog not many know this dark part of my life…

There was a period of time probably about in 2016 that I hit rock bottom internally. I began resorting to find ways to cope, ways to numb the pain. Ways to suppress and/or ways to keep so busy that I had no time to think or feel.

One day I recalled I had some high dose pain killers, and granted the pain I was in didn’t cause me physical pain, but it did mentally and emotionally. So, I took one, boy did it do the trick! It took me to where i was so sedated I knew nothing, my mind slowed down and became wrapped up in a cloud of nothingness.

Finally, the answer I had been looking for!I would partake on occasion to just not feel any more! When someone in the family had a procedure, there stash conveniently became mine after they didn’t need them any longer. It got to a point of when on them, I would have like hangover symptoms and feel terrible! My body was letting me know enough was enough!

I eventually sought medical help for my anxiety as to why some of these things I was battling were so extreme. They put me on some anxiety meds and they have helped.

So I stopped taking those prescription pain killers. When my anxiety meds seemed to not even touch all the edgy ways I was experiencing, to continue to find ways of coping, I ran to cigarettes and alcohol for solace! Those like any other are temporary fixes to an inner issue that I need to deal with. I have walked away yet again from cigarettes, and have limited my time of alcohol consumption. I haven’t reached the point of addiction with them, so it is best they get dealt with now.

I had some amazing help in getting me to where I am now, as things change, I have to choose to continue to put one foot in front of the other and keep walking toward inner healing. I look forward to continuing to grow away from destructive behaviors.

My book:

Beauty from Ashes: Discovering How Fearfully and Wonderfully Made I Am!

Amazon

Cynthia Gunn 💝

Author: Cynthia

Greetings Readers! I began blogging in Aug 2017 about my personal experiences, thing I have going on in my life that I am working toward overcoming. I write my blogs to help encourage others that may be going through some of the things like I have dealt with in life to show them there is help and hope no matter what we are going through in life. My writings have helped me to begin to write my very first book and it is coming along greatly and I sure hope to have it published perhaps next year would be great. So, please stay tuned for that! I want my life to help inspire others to keep going and to not quit when life gets hard. We all may face different things but we can learn from each other if we see how we overcome in an area that another may be struggling in. I write to encourage and uplift to bring a glimmer of hope when there isn't much offered out there in the world today. I have been an avid reader for years and this year has been a year of me putting my writing out there for the world to begin to see as I have of others. ~Love Life ~ Live Life~ ;)

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