Rejections Ugly Monster!

Rejection and Abandonment continued…

I began to open up some about Rejection and Abandonment how these issues showed up in my life in ways. But today, I will talk about more of how those created voids within myself.

As a child I don’t recall feeling or hearing much in the lines of love and acceptance except for like highlight events of birthday, graduation etc. just major life events is when those things were expressed.

It wasn’t until I joined an inner life ministry that it was exposed to me that lack of love in formative years of growing up is a huge lack of soul nourishment. I was completley broken at that point in realizing I was deficient in my soul of key things needed in growing up.

So there in laid some of the rejection issues. So how did the abandonment come into play right? Well on at least three to four occasions my father walked in where we were as children and told us he was leaving us. Thats devistating no matter your age to hear a parent is leaving. This brought in abandonment and rejection all the more.

How do I overcome these deeply rooted issues with in? I had to first forgive as to not further hold this against my parents. Then I had to accept the reality of the situation of thats just how it was for me growing up. Then I have to strive to fill the nutrient void places within with the God love to work toward healing. Am I healed? No! Am I better than I was before these issues were revealed? To a degree yes! It will be a constant work to maintain in this life.

~Love Life ~ Live Life ~ 😍

~Cynthia πŸ˜‰

Illegitimate Children!

Rejection and Abandonment issues are the illegitimate children of Comparison and Acceptance Issues.

Due to many years of comparison and acceptance issues it was found within me the issues of rejection and abandonment. Other factors also contributed to the rejection and abandonment issues, but for this blog I will only talk about how comparison and acceptance issues opened up for rejection and abandonment to follow in to my life.

So, from prior blogs I discussed how I measured every part of my life up to others and I was always disappointed since I didn’t measure up. I also became a chameleon to blend into what others wanted and loose myself and not accept myself as they didn’t accept me for who I was.

How does that open up to rejection and abandonment in this case. Well here we go as I will share some now.

I had a prebuild system goin in my heart and mind. Now granted still things I am working to overcome even now so I have not arrived and won’t I have to keep renewing to not fall back into the old comfort. Have I fallen back into old comfort? YES! This is a daily battle.

So, when new people would come into my life amd I have that prebuilt thinking system I had a hold on me to not let myself fully go into things.

What does that mean? Say for example, I would be introduced to a guy I would with hold much of myself from things like openly expressing things, or not sharing just much of myself to help build things. Many times they never got past friendship as to my walls. Then when they left because of my issues I felt rejected and abandoned by them.

Another example would be a lady would come into my life and she be true and genuine with me, but I would withhold gratitude, love and appreciation of her acceptance of me for her willingness to be my friend.

When someone comes and stays, because all others left I began unknowingly pushing away because, well if the rest left why wouldnt this one. All it takes is one to see that you have potential to get help to overcome and is willing to ride it out with you to help begin to shift the thinking of old. Those people are rare so if one comes in your life they are worth fighting to keep.

All these issues created so many problems of walls and distance and lack of love that I truly reached a point to get the help needed. Like I mention before its a daily work to keep renewing in good over the many years of negative and toxic issues I housed within. The one who remained helps me when things flair up to see them and work to overcome them in genuine love to see the best for me.

All these issues are very real. Perhaps my writings can help see someone in your life going through these same things and you can develop an understandng of compassion and love them til the issues begin to fade and they find a new normal to live.

~Love Life ~ Live Life ~ 😍

~Cynthia πŸ˜‰

#Comparison #Acceptance #Rejection #Abandonment #photographyblog