Stop Running Yourself Down!

We can disect ourselfs to the point of nothingness!

Learning to put the puzzle of my personhood back together!

Body positivity is one of many things I struggle with. I have been endeavoiring to learn that my body is what I am in and accepting every facet of it. This can be a hard pill to swallow! Especially when you have spent many years running yourself down like I have!

I have allowed so much of the opinions of others, the world, and society as a whole to tell me I am not good enough of a woman cause I don’t meet a certain criteria!

One day I was talking to a friend of mine which I happen to admire her councel and wisdom so very much, I happened to mention I wished I was skinny and tan! She said to me so lovingly to not want that, but to embrace the woman that I am, while yes working on myself!

In that moment I stopped and was on complete awe of the words she spoke. They have been said to me before granted, but some how this time it hit my soul differently! It came in a time when I have been pressing into establishing within my internal foundation some key fundamental truths that I need to have that I missed growing up.

Its only been as of recent that pressing into accepting myself wholly is beginning to bring small degrees of healing. The pieces of myself that I constantly want to change are being embraced back into my personhood as a whole.

It’s as if I was humpty dumpty broken and could not get put back together again until a level if healing had come. The lines of the puzzle are become less and less evident and becoming less visible to my critical eye. This is all healing to accept my individuality!

Cynthia

~Beauty for Ashes

Take My Hand

Your only alone if you view your life as such!

Being a single I had battled for the longest time of being alone, remaining alone, ending up alone.

But the truth was and has remained I am never alone! Alone is just a feeling a feeling that is contrary to truth. When I am feel alone I can call out to the one close to me and that may be God at the moment or may be even my leader that loves and cares what we are going through and shows unending compassion for what we face.

When our feelings tell us we are alone we must find out why that feeling came up. Is it showing me some lack from my childhood, does it reveal an inner issue of lust, does it reveal a void that we try to fill with everything but God. It could be any of these things and more.

Its a work to feel the feeling, discover why and then begin to work to discharge the feeling and renew to a place where perspective can change. Reality can begin to be real and allow God, a leader, a Godly friend that exercises wisdom to come and take our hand in life, in the trial, in the battle to show you that your not as alone as you thought you were.

Well, that is how God has been working within me about it. In prior posts I have mention where I made Men idols and put them in my voids to replace God, but when God removed them it showed me where I was really at. That was in very desperate need of the God love to fill me up in my soul that no man could fill as humanity has limits without the power of God working inside the person.

Life knowing that I am not alone, will not end up alone has become such a lifted weight that enjoying life is well a joy. I am able to be content where I am knowing that with God and my God given leaders I am surely not alone.

~Love Life~Live Life~ 😍

~Cynthia πŸ˜‰

Now that I have asked, now prepare!

We are to prepare for what we pray for!

In my time as it has been if singlehood it has provided me time to pray and seek the Lord and its a great time to spend with my Savior. Developing that true and lasting relationship with communication and worshipping his majesty, thanking him for his goodness, grace and mercy in thanksgiving. To study and delve into his guide book for all things concerning life to navigate the path here on the earth.

In times past though I hated continuing to remain single. It was as if my mind decided to name it a plague or something. But when God got hold of me through my wonderful Pastor Juanita Gibbs to show me in reality it is a blessing and a prepatory time was revolutuonary for me. It held begin to reshape my thinking on the whole thing.

Later, as time has gone on she has helped me tackle some wring stronhild thinking that I have had about it and to begin to bring healing to places from damage in my soul from my past, how I have lived this life that seriously needed attention as I had tried for so long to put a man in those places and always ended up hurt and the more empty due to the contents of my soul.

Her book up above(which can be purchased on Amazon) has helped me have a paradigm shift to loose fear, doubt and worry and begin to have faith, hope and trust in God that in time He provides whats needed. Where I had thought it may just bot happen for me and that thought is not in line with the word of God. So it is to he captured when comes and cast down (2 Corin 10:4-5).

Freedom from old stuff is a process and it takes time. As to why the word of God is the best guide book to have in this life as it touches all subjects including relationships. Her book has helped me begin to shift my mind and see myself as a winner in the faith and trust in God and His timing.

These books below are others that I have read in time past before going to the church that has so wonderfully aided me in my life far more than theae books as my lraders know me and my battles and issues as they have taught the best knowledge is your own personal experiance and gaining wisdom from those who know you personally to help naviagte the journey.

In no particular order:

This book is great for understand yourself and how you commincate in showing/displaying love to those in your life.

This book mainly focuses on enjoying single life! I passed my copy on to encourage other single sisters, but God replaced the copy when He sent me a leader in my Pastor who tells me the same thing. Enjoy, live, focus on God, walk in my purpose and his will. She is my book of wisdom since the others fully cannot relate to me as she can relate me to my story and prepare me.

This book was pretty much a reinforcement to my Pastors councel to trust God. As this spoke about divine timing and God doing the work to bring about His will and plans for my life.

This book expounded on Ruths story. She focused on her purpose with Noami and Boaz found her. Our bishop has spoke on her story in times to wait to be found by him as we are about our Fathers business. To stop falling for the words of a Bozo (lol) but wait while God works. Wait patiently with good attitude.

This book also reinforced the concept of time and touched on boundaries and enlightened that if you have things going on in your life you may not need to be in a relationship where we need wait and get healing first just as my Pastor focuses on with us. Heal the inner and if its Gods will He will bring things to pass.

This one is a premartial counceling book. That focuses on reflecting marriage as marriage of christ and the church as to which that is what earthly union should reflect when 2 born again believers come together.

This book opened up more the concept from the prior book, but showed more the difficulty and challenges in union on one flesh. As my pastor has taught us that 2 becoming one is an undertaking of understanding, forgiveness, and unconditional love to not quit when things get hard, but to keep at it.

This one I have not read, but I have read the book Boundaries just not this targeted area. But my Pastor has been instilling in me boundaries are very important in all kinds of relationships.

I so love my church Reformation Developmental Center where they speak on practical wisdom tips as well as full depth of the word of God to bring us insight into all things in this life.

~Love Life~Live Life~😍

~Cynthia πŸ˜‰

Waiting Power

There is power found in waiting which brings about growth!

There is one things to say that when your single and you desire a relationship that God will test your heart and find out where He stand with you all the while still promising things unseen.

Well He has with me anyway. Just like the children of Isreal when he took them from bondage of slavery to the egyptians and into the wilderness. He said to them worship me the one true God who removed you from captivity and is taking you to a land flowing with milk and honey.

What happens next after they were saved by God and given the promise, the test. Where they will gonna worship God for all he had just done or worship the promise. He put them in the wilderness to find they worshipped the promise of land with milk and honey over him so they grumbled and complained. An eleven day journey took 40 years.

Its the same way today with some of us, but I will focus on myself mainly. I was saved by grace given new spiritual life, I was saved by mercy and given new life in the natural, he set me free and gave promise and now in the wilderness I have seen where I worshipped the promise over the God who saved me. He has(is) tested(ing) my heart.

I have added on time to my journey by not being patient and going by what the world says over allowing my process to happen. The wilderness reveals who we really are my Pastor just brought out to us not long ago.

And boy oh boy my wilderness has showed me that I have got perspective in error. My perspective was worship Gods hand and the promise.

I am after all a child of God right and He will come through for me! That statement is loaded with pride as if God owed me something when in reality I owe God my life and service.

The power in my waiting is allowing my process to happen, growing me in areas that need to be developed in before the promise. To cause my spiritual walk to be stronger, my soul to not rule my every move but be under subjection to the word of God. To understand God wants me to keep him first in my life and to love him with all of myself as he loves me so eternally and uncondtionally.

The power of my wait is not attaining the promise but to be the best woman of God for Him and His glory until such time He sends someone to walk the journey of faith with me. There is fullness and completeness in God that satisfies like nothing else so even if the promise doesn’t come I have a great and perfect love with God and Jesus and the Holy spirit.

~Love Life~Live Life~ 😍

~Cynthia πŸ˜‰

Single and Happy

There is a time and season for all things!

It is widely popular now that if your not with someone then there has to be something wrong with you.

Is there something wrong with me?

I am single and have been a very long time!

Does that make my humanity any less than someone involved with someone?

The world and times would say yes there is something wrong with me. In some cases yes the church world would also! Yes! I said it the church also!

Not to many in the area I reside have singles geared programs, teachings on how to be am effective single, being a single christian and devoting your time to God in that season.

It wasn’t until I started going to Reformation Developmental Center pastored by Juanita Gibbs where she began to open up my world to me that my time of singleness is a gift to be treasured.

I am free to serve the kingdom as much as I can without distractions. I dont have to subject my earnings to anyone else before I give to the kingdom. I don’t have to subject my body but to God in this time when I want to fast and such.

Yes, I admit being single and remaining as such has gotten me down in the past. I have allowed man made ideas, holidays and the like to tell me what I am suppose to be as a 30ish single.

But what does God say about it as His truth trumps the ideals of men. God says seek me with your whole heart. Seek me first, keep me first, surrender everything to me. That is Gods order and design.

As I mentioned in my last singles post by doing the seeking and work on my own that was my self will not Gods will. He killed every plan that was not of his plan and purposes. Thank God He did too.

My time of singleness is to work on my inner life to have my soul prosper. To correct the inner issues, to heal the inner wounds, to subject myself to the God who knows whats best for me. He proclaims His ways are higher, his thoughts are higher.

Man oh man are they ever. Had God not stepped in and stopped my plans how much heartache and pain in the long run has he saved me from and from inflicting on another.

My soul issues could and have done serious damage left unattended. I am learning slowly to love life as a single, give my all to God, serve him in my current purpose and seek him and keep him first.

God says keep humble and at the proper time exultation will come for them who remain humble. Humble left the building on me the other day and seeing it deeply grieves me. Pride genuinley comes before the fall.

When you fall, fall and look at why you fell then see why you fell and learn from it to keep from repeating it. Only the meek can inherit the earth as the earth is His and the fullness there of and having a level of pride negates the capacity of God to show himself as He knows he wont be glorified.

Humble will glorify God over self. These are just things that I am learning and discovering about myself in my time now without distractions as I am finding contentmemt and trust slowly as it comes to my relationship with God.

As I allow Him into my life he is filling me with himself and His truth to be free from old bondage, be healed from past woundings, and to live a life that glorfies him over any thing and everything I can or have done.

My Pastor who has helped me embrace my singleness and learn about myself in this time. She does also teach on the fundamentals of relationships and the dynamics of it all.

Please don’t misunderstand these posting either of a bitter or hatefilled singlehood. No this is just an enlightenment on my journey.

Every single persons journey is different. I am just expressing and showing that you can find happiness in the status that is so widely not popular to have.

~Love Life~ Live Life~ 😍

~Cynthia πŸ˜‰

Where the journey began…

Back track with me for today…

About 4yrs ago I met a woman on facebook that happen to be a Pastor. We befriended on facebook a year after a long journey I had been on. She would comment on my stuff now and then or we would talk and it continue to build to where we talked on facebook most everyday about something. In 2014 which was a hard year for me in ways I found myself leaning toward her councel heavily.

I was part of a local church at the time that under went a massive division and she reached out to me as she felt my pain I was going through.

Having her as an empath began to grow in me a level of trust. After the church division settled I found myself in another church she was still with me for councel and I so appreciated it having just someone to listen and be there for me and show me love was what I needed. When time came I left that church as took time to seek God about where I should attend church.

He lead me right to my facebook Pastor friends church and that has been the most divine leading in my life. This woman has been with me as I have left 2 churchs, lost my mom(death) and seen me battle with my fathers ailments. She has sacrificed sweat, tears, prayer, sleep and spiritual blood on my behalf. No other have I known has been to any degree of such for me in my life. Which brings us up to speed some… to current present year.

It began over 3 months ago now my Pastor Juanita Gibbs (her coaching page link on facebook) recommended to me that I seek the Lord about being a blogger.

So, when she presented the concept I took time to think on it, research what a blogger was so I would have information to ponder upon. After maybe two days of enough information hunt I just let the idea sit in my mind along with the info to see if it would come back and be impressed upon me to delve into.

Probably 2 weeks from the time Pastor Juanita Gibbs (her web page link)brought me the idea it flew up inside me hard one day while I was out and about doing things and would not let me go.

So, I reached out to pastor on facebook and talk to her like I always do, asked her some questions about the concept of me blogging and got around to telling her that her God inspired idea has inspired me to blog.

She is my full inspiration for blogging on two blogs 4 to 5 days a week. She has been helping to make my life beautiful inwardly and outwardly by her coaching and pastoring lead of me. To sit at her feet is to sit at wisdom and gain info and insight into all things that can and has been a great help me do life better and in truth.

She too has a blog page you should check it out: Pastor Juanita Gibbs (blog link-be sure to follow her blog) her teaching, writing and wisdom is always revolutionary.

It has greatly impacted my life. It began with her book long ago it is a must read. I highly recommend getting it. It is called: Developing a Winner Attitude in 7 days(click for amazon link). Her loving nudges have spurned in me the pursuit to write my book as it is underconstrution at this time. But soon I hope it to be ready. But i fully recommend her book to everyone.

My Pastor is a gifted woman of many talents and I am greatful I can call her Pastor. She is an amazing Pastor firstly, she has massive skillz in the kitchen, and is skilled at the makeup brush and many many other areas.

Her gifts, talents and abilities help me to want to push to see what all I am capable of, for now the blogging and writing my book will due as thats what has surfaced under my time with her. I am so thankfully blessed she helped pull that out of me to walk in during this time of my life.

We all need someone who inspires, encourages and helps us navigate life, pursue goals and walk toward a God given dreams. She has surely been that for me since coming to know her and in last few years learn of her.

She has helped me begin to:

~Love Life ~Live Life~ 😍

Pastor Juanita Gibbs my Inspiration

and myself lol

There is no amount of any prestige that I could so honor her with than dedicating this blog to her and her inspiration for me and gratitude for all she has invested in my life to this point.

~Cynthia πŸ˜‰