Faith & Undisturbed Rest

Being undisturbed inwardly is tuff!

What do I mean by inwardly right? In your soul (mind,will, and emotions) we can be busy and it can be knowingly and unknowingly.

I can honestly say that for as long as I can recall my inward being has been busy. Somethings I knew I was thinking on things and other times I didn’t realize it.

For example,yesterday while I was out and in the midst of the conversation it was noted how I think of myself in an aspect to speaking on a certain topic repetitivley.

This repetition wasn’t a good one as it revealed an inner disturbance of lack of self acceptance. Thus, also revealing another level of an issue I have that keeps me from reality at times. This disturbance inwardly has caused much issue within and without as it effects interpersonal connections.

Once this had been brought to light and attacked with truth, I now have to cultivate the good that was given to me to have that begin to grow and manifest in my life. Its up to me to keep meditating on the word, praying the word and worshipping in spirit and in truth.

Then my people will live in a peaceful surrounding, And in secure dwellings and in undisturbed resting places.
ISAIAH 32:18 AMP

It is then that I can make the shift to go from living a disturbed life to slowly progressing to live in undisturbed resting place. That no matter what God is in control to calm my soul.

So, since yesterday with having the new information I have cried a release and then pressed into renewing my mind (Romans 12:2) to get back on track and be about doing the work that needs to be done.

Before when stuff like this would happen I would throw a full on pity party. For some reason, now its a different view. God used a vessel to bring to light much needed information that needed addressing.

Now that light has come, I can begin to address it. Its gonna take time and patience on my part to do the diligent work to make the move. I sure want to and need to, to know that this has been a issue has gone on long enough. It began yesterday and I strive to keep at the work and be aware when it flairs up.

Its gonna take me pulling on faith from the word of God to make it. His word is His voice and the mind of Christ and I need to put more in me to line up my life into His will for me.

Note: The contents of this blog are inspired by my Leader Pastor Juanita Gibbs of Reformation Developmental Center

~Cynthia 😍

To-do List!!

Make the list and check it 2x!

Sorry this isn’t about Santa!

But what it is about is undealt with anxiety!

The noise and choas that resides in a soul when left undealt with can become so much that it basically can shut humanity down.

Anxiety has been known to do that in some. That it becomes just so much undealt with that they live life medicated and in a shell excluding themself from life, others, and genuine help to manage the anxiety better.

Now disclaimer!

I am not running down anyone on meds for anxiety as I am on an herbal for anxiety myself and my father is on meds for his.

The thing that I am getting to is not seeking help to help manage the condition. I am thankful to say I am getting great biblical counceling to aide my development to handle things better and begin to calm my soul down!

If I leave my condition undealt with I could become a nonproductive member of society and I don’t want to become that.

I want to encourage and inspire others with my story to show it is possible.

For with God all things are possible to them that believe amd I believe my soul is finally getting the help it so desperatley longed for.

I want to be able to go through life managing my anxiety, managing my emotions, managing my thought life better from where my anxiety, emotions and thoughts have lead my life for far too long.

Now with what help I am getting the more I become aware of myself that I am straying away from peace I can throw the emergency breaks to not allow that to happen.

Tis the season

The most happiest time of the year can be really not so joyful for some!

DEPRESSION AWARENESS

The condition of Depression became so much more very real in my family in the December of 2014.

Depression was already in my home prior to 2014 goin back to 2007 truthfully, but not on this level. My Father was severly depressed in October that same year of 2014 he spent about a week or more in the hospital from severe bleeding ulcers that requires him to have clamps put on them and several blood transfusions.

When he came home after that, my father wasn’t the same man. He couldn’t return to work without collapsing, he then spent time at home and after spending most of his life working in the public that came to a screeching hault. So, like my mother’s carrer came to and aburupt stop, so did his.

They spent alot of time together at home as something neither of them was use to spending long extended amounts of time with each other alone since me and my sibling came along. So with them both spending time alone and both in a state of depression, that the condition took a turn in early December.

One day my mother calls me and my sibling also very frantic that my father opened all his pills and took them. She called is then called Emergency. They took him to the ER and evaluated him and asked what he took we had gathered the scattered pills and bottles as my mom, wheel chair bound rolled to knock them from his hand and being taken.

They kept him in the ER for hours and mt father wasn’t there. He knew my mom and my brother, but he didn’t know me. That was heartbreaking to hear from darkend cold eyes from the man responsible for you coming into the world that “no I dont know who you are”.

I left the room and cried and found someone to talk to to help begin to console me, it helped for only a little while then to go back in the ER section he still didnt know me it wasnt until b4 we were leaving that he came around that he knew me for 4 hours this went on.

To find out days later when he was in the ward for evaluation. That he got so depressed that he couldnt pay money back he had got on loan from someone and couldnt afford christmas gifts.

Please please I urge everyone to be a light this season. People battle things that we don’t know about. Let them know you care. Listen to them! Help them by lightening the burden if you can. Don’t let depression keep taking lives or stealing joy!

Depression is so very real and is painful.

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