Whats faith got to do with it?

Questioning faith?

Coming into a ministry like I am apart of now has truly truly helped to open my eyes to see things different in the word of God.

At Reformation Developmental Center they have broken down the teaching of our being so beautifully that it is revelatory beyond anything I had ever been exposed to in teaching of the word at this depth. For that I am greatful.

Pastor Juanita Gibbs has expounded about our being as I mention and our parts are Spirit, Soul, Body (1 Thess 5:23). In my time of study of faith, steadfast, unmoved I ran across the scripture below and it spoke to me in a new way. Maybe just personally for me, but I will share it.

And falling into a place where two seas met, they ran the ship aground; and the forepart stuck fast, and remained unmoveable, but the hinder part was broken with the violence of the waves.

Acts 27:41 KJV

When I came to the end of myself when I rededicated my life to the Lord at 24yrs old after I got saved at 12yrs old and didnt really attend church in that 12 yr span of time.

My spirit was reborn when I cam to the Lord and when I came back to the Lord I slowly was set ablaze with a fervent passion for knowing more about God and serving the kingdom.

The forepart of me, my spirit was whole heartedly stuck, steadfast and unmoved in the things of God. The spirit is to be my guidance.

But, as a babe in the faith just getting acquainted with the word and reading it and attending church regularly I found myself hungering to know more and more and more. Eventually seeking the baptism of the Holy Spirit and did with the evidence of other tongues. That even the more changes my passion for the things of God.

But, my soul wanted to be the lead of me and my life for a long time. My soul lead me to places I had no business being in, but I did for I listened to the voice of my soul and not my spirit.

This being soul lead caused me to be beaten by my emotions and in my mind when things fell apart. Following my soul lead to the end of many things. But, to follow my spirit it to be firm and secure.

The hinder part of me wants to lead, but the forfront of me should lead. Its like having a vehicle with optional front wheel or rear wheel drive. A matter of choosing which will take the lead.

The front of a vessel is where the ship goes and the rutter can stear the boat often times also, causing shifts in direction and course of trip unto an appointed destination.

So, now my soul needs to become firm to not be destroyed or beaten by the violent waves that will come. My spirit remains firm, but my soul(mind, will, and emotions) is where the work is to take place.

~Cynthia 😍

Perfect Love

It can cast out fear!

But to know love we must first be love.

To be love we must accept the love we didn’t deserve but grace gave it any way.

God gave His only son out of love for us.

The word of God is Gods love letter to us. The greatest command is to love!

So, the question becomes…

Have I accepted the full magnitude of the love that was provided for me?

Have I taken that love deep within?

Am I that love?

To be perfectly honest…No!

Maybe on a good day I can show some of the love thats been given to me. On a good day I can be some what that love to another. On a good day I can take in that love that was given.

Human love is conditional and limited.

Gods love is eternal and limitless.

Well atleast it is within myself. As I can only share from my perspective is that I see my limitations when it comes to receiving love and giving love.

There is all kinds of love that God spoke about (Agape, Phileo, Eros, Sorge,etc) and books have been written about it and to further break down the love demonstrations has even been written on in book the 5 Love Languanges (Yes I have it and have read it).

To be love and show love and receive love I must grow my fruit of love that came in at my salvation.(Galatians 5:22)

To grow the fruit of love is to exercise it. How do I exercise it? Daily we are given opportunity to show, walk or accept love in some way. It is how then when it is continued to be exercised that the perfect love comes in and fear begins to flee.

I still have to work the fruit of love in my life as it is a command to love and to be obedient to that truth is submission to the word and what it has commanded as a life for Christ to be and show in the world we live. His love in us can be a light and salt to the world. It compells and causes those who love is shown to, to be drawn and to thirts appropriatley for the love of God.

~Love Life~ Live Life~ 😍

~Cynthia 😉

Love Affair Pt 1

Sounds scandalous right!!

The love affair I am beginning is well loving myself.

I have been on a journey of self discovery for a few months now. Its been a journey to say the least. Even my writing these blogs have helped me discover hidden parts of me.

But, in actuality the self discovery began with my church teaching us about self deception, knowing our truth, loving our truth no matter what it looks like. It was this that really began to set this all in motion.

I am learning to love myself beyond all the issues in my soul that has surfaced the abandonment, rejection, comparison, acceptance, fear, doubt, worry, anxiety and depression.

Learning to work through those issues to come to a level of healing. Learning that those issues don’t define me they are part of me but they will be learned of to take control of and manage them. Learning that just because I have issues is no reason to reject myself as I have been doing.

Everyone has issues of some kind I have also learned. Like me they hide the real you, they hide the issue, hide that all is perfect and well. But, when the real test comes thats when the guard is let down and the issues are revealed. Least thats how it has been for me, the test would come and show where I was at.

I am also learning that my love has limits as to why when I see I have issues I reject even myself. This is when the fruit of the spirit of love has had to come in the more. To pull on Gods eternal love for me.

To know even in my mess God still extends grace and mercy to me to work on my short comings and be healed amd walk free from them and to help others like me at some point overcome.

Will I ever be fully free from my issues? Maybe in level as healing happens. Other issues within will require management on my part.

May I keep walking this journey day by day to love myself knowing by Faith God does no matter what.

~Love Life~ Live Life~ 😍

~Cynthia 😉

Fear Management

Heard of anger management? Fear management is just the same its learning how to control this specific emotion!

Being a fear driven person as I have been can be a job to overcome. Going on a discovery mission to find the root causes of why such fear is felt deep within side of me.

I have blogged about some of my root issues I work to overcome, so I wont revisit them in this one, but visit my page to read about them if you like. My fruit of thoses issues has become fear. There is a quote by Franklin D. Roosevelt (FDR) that was penned “you have nothing to fear but fear itself”. So lets put that in the biblical standard when Gods word says He has NOT give us a spirit of fear, but of power, love and a sound mind. (2 Tim 1:7)

My Pastor has been showing me that fear has power just like faith does just not in the good way. So where in lays my belief is it belief in the fear or is it belief by faith….ohhhh wow that one is heavy. That takes an examination of where in fact do we give the power to manifest through our beliefs.

Cause either the very thing I fear the most and believe will happen has been given legal power and authority by my belief to back it to manifest. Has it been so? Yes!

Where if I shed the fear I have, feel it but don’t let it rule me but see where I have an open space within that fear resides to work to replace the fear with faith. Then faith can grow as long as I feed faith with faith. My soul can begin to be healed of the fear and I learn to manage it in my life.

Fear won’t go away some fear is healthy. Like having a holy fear of God or fear when you feel in danger. The fear I am referring to is a fear that is unnatural or unfounded in a belief system.

Have I learned how to fully manage my fear? No! Each testing of my faith can reveal new levels of fear I house. So, the test shows me where I am at and how much work needs to continue to be done in my soul.

I will continue to work to grow in my soul to become stable in feeling fear by using truth from the word of God when a fear flair up happens. The word is a powerful sword to begin to divide me from deception of the world that says you need things now, yesterday, years ago, etc.

When God knows full well what I need within before I walk into something and destroy it whether it be a job, a calling on my life, a friendship/relationship, etc. He will not bless, promote, or exhault before proper time.

Thank God for His wisdom and that wisdom he place on others to help lead, guide, and direct you in this life. He placed before me a leader if great wisdom and she has imparted and taught me much that I will keep using to grow in areas to be perfect (mature) in the wisdom of God in the world today.

~Love Life~ Live Life~ 😍

~Cynthia 😉

As children of God let us no longer be a slave to fear! Check out the song link below

Fear of Change

Change in the beginning is rather daunting!

In the beginning of change it can be like full on war within. Breaking away from the old to work toward the new way you hope and invision to be.

When I choose to make the decision to shed my vast amount of negativity oh boy. I needed to have an arsenal of scripture to combat every negative word. I needed a person anointed to bring change to a life to pray me through, talk me through, be with me at my side til the battle wasn’t so intense within and managable with the tools they provided.

Two days into waging war within to move to a new way of life I was completley like “what in the world have I decided to do here!” Day 3 the war within was just as intense and I asked my Pastor was there any hope for me as the battle got worser and worser so it seemed.

The things I had built within due to years of living negativley were screamin out “don’t change its easier to be this way” and honestly it was easier to be that way as I had been that way for so long. But, my eyes had been open to what fruit of a negative life produced.

The fruit of negative is more negative. So the things within me didnt want me to change as they became comfort amd kept me bound by much fear and the fear spread to other areas of life like an infection does when it goes untreated.

My spirit longed for the change and my soul said no stay in the comfort of what you have built. By day four the battle seemed to lessen, still there but not as full on waging war within.

I recently found a scripture I used for my sunday school children that proclaimed the end of a thing is better than its beginning (Ecc 7:8) and if that isn’t ever so true I have found. The battle is confidently in the beginning.

When you see the end of it you can appreciate the fight put up to get to the end of it with his grace, strength, and mercy. Cause many times I am weak in the battle as I see no hope in changing and I see that is the fear within trying to have its way to prevent change and live differently.

Have I shed fear? No! Fear is part of human nature. It is like my pastor tells me its how we deal with the emotion and thoughts related when they come. She says yes feel them, learn why they showed up and work to not dwelling in them to lead me. As fear has lead my life for far too long as it is. With the tools she is giving me I am learning to slowly manage me better as my self management is my job. God graces us to do it for ourself, but He won’t do the work for us!

~Love Life~ Live Life ~ 😍

~Cynthia

F.O.M.O to Y.O.L.O

Talking in abbreviations…LOL

We live in a world of fast movement, instant gratification, inpatience, haste. But, when the unexpected wait, delay, etc happens we get all in a tizzy. Well, I know I have in those moments.

We even get that way with God we get full of pride and anger with God when He don’t answer us when the prayer drops as if He owes us our prayer request. When the reality of the matter of delay in answer is that He wants us to grow!

But, what happen for me was that when prayers haven’t been answered I began to loose faith and trust that God even heard me, like my prayers hit a ceiling and not gone through. Thinking that I was bad aweful sinner and had done many bad things to not have Gods ear incline to my prayer and essentially this added to the walls I had built inside.

The stronghold of fear got more fortiefied and reinforced everytime I felt disappointed by God not answering my prayer.

I was coming home from the beach Saturday and flipping through the radio I heard a brief conversation and the radio person said to a caller I believe that they were batteling F.O.M.O. course that got my attention of what does that mean.

F.O.M.O = Fear of missing out

When I heard that a message broken down God began to speak to me in my spirit. Some of it is flowing out in this blog. Because of my walls, my overly prudent nature of living in future and not my present, and inpatience, that fear has been a battle to overcome even in small layers.

In recent, I have been working on my thought life to begin to shift my paradigm. I had in a month been working hard on the thought realm of my mind. Unaware things had begun to shift within to bring about a place of gaining positive over the vastly negative I have lived.

When the message on radio came it was like that is how I have been living. I was so afraid of missing out that I didn’t live in my now. The radio person kept talking to whomever and or I turned radio off I heard Y.O.L.O. in my spirit.

Y.O.L.O = You only live once.

In my beginning to retrain my mind I had begun to shed a layer of fear. By using the word of God to negate the bad and think more positive. By doing this trust has begun to flow within reigniting belief and empowering me to exercising my measure of faith.

The budlings of new fruit are rising to the surface in my soul and as I keep at the work my soul will begin to prosper and then God can prosper me in other ways as I keep growing and developing. As I appreciate my now and live for my now time. Fear can flee for God dont give us a spirit of fear, but of Power, love and a sound mind

~Love Life ~ Live Life ~ 😍

~Cynthia 😉

Life’s Adventure

The simple life pleasures!

Saturday I took a ride down to the beach.

Standing there listening to the waves crashing on the shore was relaxing. What wasn’t so relaxing was how crowded it was. So I basically enjoyed the sights and sounds for maybe 15 minutes, picked up a few shells, petted a sand crab, got my feet wet in the cold ocean then made my way on down the road.

Found a little coffee shop if it was on the beach that would so have been a dream, but it was close enough for the day. Sitting out in the beautiful sunshine taking in the beauty I was able see and enjoy. One thing would have made it better the more would be spending time talking to a good friend.

Journaling, praying, writing notes, and lesson plan prep for when I teach is what my time at the coffee shop consisted of for the time I was there.

Found Jockeys Ridge state park went dune climbing for a little while that was fun too sand in my toes, wind in my hair and for fall it sure was a hot day…LOL I believe it was close to 90s in temperature.

My Pastor has taught us that learning to quiet our soul is needful to hear the spirit of God in our life. I have found for me the beach, by sea, or any body of water I can get into that place to quiet my soul. I can sit there and cast cares, pray and quiet down my inner person of the soul. As I traveled home later that evening God did speak cause I had quieted down my soul for him to speak to me what He wants of me to do. Rest in Him and trust him! That’s the living and loving God I so greatfully and humbly serve.

~Love Life ~ Live Life~ 😍

~Cynthia 😉

Rejections Ugly Monster!

Rejection and Abandonment continued…

I began to open up some about Rejection and Abandonment how these issues showed up in my life in ways. But today, I will talk about more of how those created voids within myself.

As a child I don’t recall feeling or hearing much in the lines of love and acceptance except for like highlight events of birthday, graduation etc. just major life events is when those things were expressed.

It wasn’t until I joined an inner life ministry that it was exposed to me that lack of love in formative years of growing up is a huge lack of soul nourishment. I was completley broken at that point in realizing I was deficient in my soul of key things needed in growing up.

So there in laid some of the rejection issues. So how did the abandonment come into play right? Well on at least three to four occasions my father walked in where we were as children and told us he was leaving us. Thats devistating no matter your age to hear a parent is leaving. This brought in abandonment and rejection all the more.

How do I overcome these deeply rooted issues with in? I had to first forgive as to not further hold this against my parents. Then I had to accept the reality of the situation of thats just how it was for me growing up. Then I have to strive to fill the nutrient void places within with the God love to work toward healing. Am I healed? No! Am I better than I was before these issues were revealed? To a degree yes! It will be a constant work to maintain in this life.

~Love Life ~ Live Life ~ 😍

~Cynthia 😉

Huh? No way!

Personal acceptance can be a hard pill to swallow!

Embarking on this journey has brought about well let say much enlightenment.

I have begun to become aware of my true self. That is knowing myself by my temperments, the wounds in my soul, toxic strongholds that shaped in how I view things or perceive things and how I thought on things.

Which coming to understand all these things have helped me begin to love myself. I am unique in my own special way there is no other exactly like me, perhaps similar, but not fully the same as the life path, experiances, faith, etc.

I have learned so much about myself especially in understanding my temperments that there are good and bad (strengths and weaknesses) that I have been able to get help with by my Pastor and Life Coach, to begin to tackle the weaknesses to grow in them to not be so weak in them.

I have had to embrace that in one of my temps I am loyal/faithful which there for the weakness has come that I don’t outwardly express love well. So, by taping into the fruit of the spirit I am working to overcome my temperment short commings. To begin to show people I love and care for them. Life is to be lived and expressing love for those we care for, not just hidden inside for no one but self to know.

It was also in this self acceptance journey that I understand better why I am an ambivert. Its due to my temperment combinations working in me. That cause me to be both outgoing and an introvert. Which some just don’t understand. Which is fine as it is the wonderment of me.

I am embracing that I can be outgoing or introvert or commonly of people with both as mentioned before known as an ambivert.

Most are known as one or the other but I have both tendancies. There are some that understand the both tendancies of being outgoing or introverted, those people are amazing to have in life. They are patient and loving and accept that you either want to go out or need time alone.

Learning to love myself amd accept myself has had some challenges, but those are challenges worth taking to become a better person.

~ Love Life ~ Live Life ~ 😉

~Cynthia 😉

#Acceptance #self #love

How in the world is this gonna work?!?!

How now can I find a place of personal acceptance?

It all begins as my Pastor told me of knowing my full truth. Seeing all the good, bad, the ugly in me and not rejecting those things for they are who I truly am inside. I can hide them behind a mask or veil with others but for so long til they come peeping out around the corner to make themselve known.

Truth of myself had to pierce the veil that I had so cleverly constructed to blend into the world around me. One truth came it pierced the veil, more kept coming to tear it wide open to see more of the full truth that is well me. Was it pretty? To say the least, lets just say there are some big parts that still need work.

One by one and step by step as my Pastor tells me in councel so I can focus on achieving one development in an area at a time and not be all over working on pieces of all of them and not getting anywhere. Cause honestly before her I would be all over working on pieces of all the problems I saw needed addressing in me.

Pastor has referred to Shakepear’s famous quote of “To thine own self be true” it struck a new resonance within me as she brought it forth in a way to grow in my inner person. Once I am able to be fully honest with myself and true to myself it can then spill out in the world around me.

Instead of me becoming a camelion and blending in any longer I can know that deep within its ok to stand out and be different and the things I work to better within me can have a impact on the world around me.

I can, like she says, live from the inside out over what I have been doing of living from the outside in.

To be honest the taintedness of this world coming into my life has not been the greatest taking on of things. But, living from the inside out by aide of the spirit I can use Gods strength, righteousness and power to overcome the acceptance issue step by step and the journey has begun.

~Love Life ~Live Life ~ 😉

~Cynthia 😉

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♡ Pastor Juanita ♡ blog at:

wholebodywellness365.wordpress.com

#Acceptance