These are the days…

2020 As it progresses is becoming a year to ponder a new way of living.

With each passing day we never know what is around the corner living during times of a global Corona Virus Pandemic. Will we have a surge in the numbers and the governor order us all to go back into lock down. How close will it get to touching us?

As of my last blog post, I had to make the most gut wrenching decision ever and that was to have my very sick and weak oldest furbaby put down so that he wouldn’t be suffering any more. Having to do that was like the last piece of my mom who passed away in Nov 2016 go. Needless to say I miss my baby boy Midnight.

My baby girl Sweet Pea misses him too. Keeping her my happy girl from being depressed has been my newest undertaking, Longer walks, car rides, and treats make her so happy since she lost her brother. Thats all she known was a life with him. She is slowly adjusting to the changes, but it makes you wonder do they ever fully understand.

2020 will be a year for the record books in my world my vehicle had been in the shop since February. Then loosing s fur-child. A stripping away year it seems. If I dwell to long on it I could sink into a depression so deep that the animals deep in the abyss of the ocean would find me.

Choosing to embrace the changes that have come with this year and holding on to the promises of God keep me from sinking.

“And we know that God causes all things to work together for good to those who love God, to those who are called according to His purpose.”
‭‭Romans‬ ‭8:28‬ ‭NASB‬‬

God has a divine plan and purpose for this year. Since I got my first book published I have been able to get back to blogging this year again on a consistent basis. My latest endeavors are writing in my 2nd book and putting out video content on my youtube channel. Some coffee reviews lately, but my next one I have added on a special edition I may expand on later, for now its and ease into the platform and enjoying something I love, which is coffee.

In all this year of 2020 it will cause you to re-evaluate so much of life. How income is earned, how interpersonal relationships can grow in limited confinds especially when social distancing is in play, How to grow in gifts, talents, abilities, calls of God, ministry assignments and more, when you have to find development ways outside of the traditional ways of education, workshops and training. Life is a training ground when it is allowed and the devices we hold in our hands daily are key access points to a world of development when used resourcefully.

Don’t miss out on the opportunity to change something about yourself during these times! It may be beneficial down the road. One change can be the catalyst for a major breakthrough!

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Cynthia 🌺

Biblical Identification

Martha Faith vs. Mary Faith

I was coming into work this morning and after spending some time in prayer and worship and meditation I was driving and in my spiritual minds eye a scene played in me.

That scene was when Lazarus had died and the very two different sisters if Martha and Mary had their own greeting for Jesus when he came to them in Bethany.

Mary so full of faith took Jesus at his every word. She said for when you say my brother will rise again I believe it that whatever you say shall be. (Paraphrased)

Then as she went on knowing that Jesus would do as he daid he would she went on to call for her sister Martha to come to see the teacher and she greeted him with a scalding “Jesus had you been here my brother Lazarus would not be dead” (paraphrase).

Martha so deeply saddend at the death of her brother mounrd as well as the weepers around. Which moved on Jesus as Lazaurus was his friend and “Jesus wept”.

Jesus told Martha:

Jesus said to her, “I am the resurrection and the life; he who believes in Me will live even if he dies, Jesus said to her, “Did I not say to you that if you believe, you will see the glory of God?”
John 11:25‭, ‬40 NASB

Martha had to have more reinforcement from Jesus as if to prove to her that He would do what He said he would do.

I can so relate to Martha on many levels and at different times she is mentioned in scripture. But in this case the more as Jesus by the Holy Spirit has been using my leaders to tell me the same message as if to finally get me to trust His word.

Now I know for myself my issue stems from broken trust from people. But, when will I finally disconnect Gods from mere humanity? In the last few days with undergoing a program by my Pastor Juanita Gibbs to 40 day detox from negativity has begun to aide my trusting in God.

Its a work and truthfully its only 3 days into it but I am fully committed to bring the inner changes I need in my soul. These first 3 days are beginning to heal my trust issues with God. But, to also learn to be patient while God does a work in my life.

The Holy Spirit has said through my leaders allow patiencr to have her perfect work. Trust God that he will come through as there is a time and season for all things and this season is to plant me by the stream of the living waters to grow and flourish and in time a harvest will come.

I need to get so deeply rooted by the streams of living water that I will flourish in season and out of season. That is when the glory of the Lord can be fully manifested in my life the more as the empowerment comes by His spirit as I send my roots out deep to have His spirit flow through my spirit. This is how pastor says I live more by the spirit.

I may have been a Martha in my faith for a good portion of my faith life these last 11 years since I wasnt raised in church as a kid, but even as a kid in the faith it is time to take off the Martha faith and put on the Mary faith!

Faith can be transformed as I allow the process God wants me to ealk through mold and shape my life! In time it will be a transformed faith testimony I will have! Its begun by the wonderful 40-day program that Pastor started and I look forward to my faith coming up and not going back to what it has been!

Where the journey began…

Back track with me for today…

About 4yrs ago I met a woman on facebook that happen to be a Pastor. We befriended on facebook a year after a long journey I had been on. She would comment on my stuff now and then or we would talk and it continue to build to where we talked on facebook most everyday about something. In 2014 which was a hard year for me in ways I found myself leaning toward her councel heavily.

I was part of a local church at the time that under went a massive division and she reached out to me as she felt my pain I was going through.

Having her as an empath began to grow in me a level of trust. After the church division settled I found myself in another church she was still with me for councel and I so appreciated it having just someone to listen and be there for me and show me love was what I needed. When time came I left that church as took time to seek God about where I should attend church.

He lead me right to my facebook Pastor friends church and that has been the most divine leading in my life. This woman has been with me as I have left 2 churchs, lost my mom(death) and seen me battle with my fathers ailments. She has sacrificed sweat, tears, prayer, sleep and spiritual blood on my behalf. No other have I known has been to any degree of such for me in my life. Which brings us up to speed some… to current present year.

It began over 3 months ago now my Pastor Juanita Gibbs (her coaching page link on facebook) recommended to me that I seek the Lord about being a blogger.

So, when she presented the concept I took time to think on it, research what a blogger was so I would have information to ponder upon. After maybe two days of enough information hunt I just let the idea sit in my mind along with the info to see if it would come back and be impressed upon me to delve into.

Probably 2 weeks from the time Pastor Juanita Gibbs (her web page link)brought me the idea it flew up inside me hard one day while I was out and about doing things and would not let me go.

So, I reached out to pastor on facebook and talk to her like I always do, asked her some questions about the concept of me blogging and got around to telling her that her God inspired idea has inspired me to blog.

She is my full inspiration for blogging on two blogs 4 to 5 days a week. She has been helping to make my life beautiful inwardly and outwardly by her coaching and pastoring lead of me. To sit at her feet is to sit at wisdom and gain info and insight into all things that can and has been a great help me do life better and in truth.

She too has a blog page you should check it out: Pastor Juanita Gibbs (blog link-be sure to follow her blog) her teaching, writing and wisdom is always revolutionary.

It has greatly impacted my life. It began with her book long ago it is a must read. I highly recommend getting it. It is called: Developing a Winner Attitude in 7 days(click for amazon link). Her loving nudges have spurned in me the pursuit to write my book as it is underconstrution at this time. But soon I hope it to be ready. But i fully recommend her book to everyone.

My Pastor is a gifted woman of many talents and I am greatful I can call her Pastor. She is an amazing Pastor firstly, she has massive skillz in the kitchen, and is skilled at the makeup brush and many many other areas.

Her gifts, talents and abilities help me to want to push to see what all I am capable of, for now the blogging and writing my book will due as thats what has surfaced under my time with her. I am so thankfully blessed she helped pull that out of me to walk in during this time of my life.

We all need someone who inspires, encourages and helps us navigate life, pursue goals and walk toward a God given dreams. She has surely been that for me since coming to know her and in last few years learn of her.

She has helped me begin to:

~Love Life ~Live Life~ 😍

Pastor Juanita Gibbs my Inspiration

and myself lol

There is no amount of any prestige that I could so honor her with than dedicating this blog to her and her inspiration for me and gratitude for all she has invested in my life to this point.

~Cynthia 😉

Transition

Moving from fear to faith!

When fear has been a resident inside my soul for so long I have to serve fear eviction papers. It didn’t like getting served… no way!

Fear begins to scream out:

  • This is your comfort place look how its kept you!
  • I can keep you from hurting!
  • This is the best place for you! Whats beyond this for someone like you?
  • Your fine like you are!
  • And more

The things fear will begin to scream out sound true initially as they are familiar. They are an established fortress of lies I have believed for far too long!

So, what has to happen and has begun to happen to begin to get me to shift from fear to faith?

Well…

I have to first know the voice of fear and anything else joined with it like doubt, worry, and anxiety. This way when they rise up within me I can identify the voice and begin to pull on faith and the word to counter attack the contents in my soul.

Am I doing a good job at this fight?

Some days Heck No! I fall right back into the old way.

Other days I have my sword in hand slicing and dicing every fear and anxious voice that comes up within.

I have to be repetitious in the battle. My Pastor she has taught us that:

“Repetition is the mother of success, if you want to succeed you have to keep doing it over and over and over again until it becomes your new normal” ~ Juanita Gibbs

When I fail at the battle I have to dust myself off see if I can locate the weakness and to why this test took me down and exercise ways to not let it get to me so bad in the next test.

Will I ever be free of fear? No!

Fear is an emotion and I have to learn to manage it. That fear management is real just like how anger management is real for some.

I can be very emotionally lead at times if I allow fear and any other emotion have its way. I can also be very logically lead by my own thoughts and analyzations…but that is a whole other subject.

I want to be able to manage the fear level within me to begin to live by faith over the fears. I have to keep the sword of the word of God that is truth to help me get there. Day by day I hope to make strides to keep turning from fear to faith.

~Love Life ~ Live Life ~ 😍

~Cynthia 😉

Anchors away!!

This year 2017 has been an anchoring year for me.

Since March of this year the word anchor as well as its imagery became such a reminder of the things I discovered relative to it.

It was on a trip in March that I purchased a leather bracelet that I had engraved with “Faith ⚓Hope” to only go on a discovery that what I had enscribed was almost scriptural. The very next day in my timeline I saw “Hope Anchors the Soul” that resonnated with me.

In Hebrews 6:19 is where anchor is found in the word of God that just confirmed so much. I began to study anchors and their function and their symbolostic meanings. Like for example mariners use anchors as a symbol of faith as it has the appearance of a cross.

Anchors are used to keep vessels stable in turbulence or just in a place of resting to keep from going off course. This anchoring information became a way to affirm my faith and reaffirm when things go bad.

Sometimes we just need a little reminder that God is with us in the storm he is our good father and shepherd. Sometimes we have to change inwardly to be able to see even a small amout of the goodness of God. He shall supply all our need according to his riches in glory. I thank Him for all he has provided unto me so far in life.

My permanent reminder(tattoo) that change is good, especially when it is to anchor into the ultimate source of life.

~Love Life ~ Live Life~ 😍

~Cynthia

Walk in the park!

Adventure is always calling!

Had the pleasure of goin to a park on Saturday, it was a bit change of the normal, but fun was had. Took my sunday school kids out to celebrate one if their birthdays.

We got to the park had lunch together and they ran off to go play. Other kids were there and others were going to have a birthday gathering also.

We walked out on the pier, saw some small schools of fish, saw some bigger fish jump, then play play play on all the park structures. They ran, they laughed and made other friends with kids at the park.

As time passed on we left went to another location then after time left there and went for ice cream. So, back to the park we went. This time after they got goin with all the ice cream in them I joined in on the fun.

I climbed up on one of the structures with them and they had a two seater slide. I sat down with one beside me and we slid down. Oh how it amped in excitement from there. I would hear “Miss Cynthia its my turn to slide with you” so I would hurry up the structure and slide with my next kid awaiting their turn to slide with me.

It was so much fun as if recapturing my youth going along with the children. There was a single slide very tall next to the two seater one. I said come on kids line up and we will have a sunday school train. Shouts of “yay”, “where are my shoes”, “wait for me” and “come on guys”, all burst from their lil bodies in that moment.

We all lined up the birthday kid leading the way, then me and the other kids one by one we all came down in a line. We packed up the day and to be sure in one lil burst it was, “oh do we have to go home”, “Miss Cynthia your the best”, “can we play a lil longer”, “ohhhhk”.

~Love Life ~ Live Life ~ 😍

~Cynthia 😉

#walk #park #butterfly #timewithchildren

Do you not see it?!?!

Self-Rejection is a very real problem!

My open door to personally not accept myself was wide open. This came from the comparison issues I have shared about in other blog posts.

I had developed a mindset that if I had a flaw that wasn’t accepted by someone close to me then it was my instinct to reject it and do anything to blend in better.

This caused me essentially to loose much of myself and blind me to my real inner issues that I need to work on in my soul.

I began to only know me through the eyes of others. Which in some cases were not so great opinions due to many things.

What God began to do in my life was begin to separate me from people for my own good. As I needed to discover myself and know the true meaning of appropraite self-love and knowing of His love through others that did remain.

Am I there to full personal acceptance? I can honestly say, No! But, what I will share is that daily I take a step closer toward personal acceptance. Gods view and opinion of me and my own self view are the confidence builders I am working toward attaining.

As, I have come to learn and accept its part of life that some will not accept me as a person and some will. I just have to trust God for the true people that will see me and appreciate me in fullness as I should them also.

Acceptance starts with self as no other but God through His son and the true people of God he brings into your life can help you and I build a foundation of confidence in Him.

Close the door to outside void fillers such as a man, woman, job, or hobby to fill the void in a soul like the true love of God in finding acceptance.

~Love Life ~ Live Life~ 😉

~Cynthia

#Acceptance

Dysfunctional Marriage!

The worse thing in the world is the coming together of two toxic issues!

The marriage of comparison issues and acceptance issues became very aware to me as I began to detox the emotions, pain, memories, and finally expose root issues deep within my soul.

Comparison was a gateway to open myself up to more ways I could be destroyed by forces of darkness. I opened myself up to them unknowingly giving legal grounds to come and torture my mind.

As I saw I would never measure up to anyone else or that I didn’t fit the “ideal” mold of others I began to not accept myself. My own personal acceptance had become hinged off what others said, thought and if they wanted to be around me.

When it appeared that none accepted me I truly lost all acceptance for myself. For as long as I can remember this was how it has been for me, all the way back to school days. I was cordial to most but never close to anyone as I wasn’t fully accepted.

Even down the years when men came into my life I compared then didn’t feel accepted because of a flaw or my issue and I know they picked up the insecurity and kept me in the friend zone. Which later was Gods love sparing me from more pain and disappointment.

It wasn’t til most recent that my root issues are being allowed to come to the surface and I am dealing with them one on one. I have learned that comparison will cause me to never measure up to anyone other than myself. I have my life and path to take and they are different for all of us.

So, I am learning to control my comparison thoughts, as well as, being in a time of learning to fully accept me.

No one else’s acceptance of me can fill the void in my soul. I have to fill it up first with appropriate self love and Gods love through those He has given me in this life.

~Love Life ~ Live Life ~

~Cynthia 😉

#Comparison #Acceptance

Save Me!!!

Need help saving me from well myself.

I have written about comparison before but I want to touch on it again. Comparison is tool if used in the right way can help people change, choose better and propel them forward in life.

In my case on the other hand comparison has been a tool that I allowed the powers of the enemy license to stop me from changing, choosing not so great things and to keep me stagnant from moving forward.

But how is this so, right? Well I allowed comparison to be used in a negative way to measure my life against another and seeing how I would never measure up to their successes or how they were blessed by God in life.

It wasn’t until I was truly (and I am still working at this so I have not arrived) seen that God has blessed me in my life. I have a roof over my head, food for the table and someone in my life as a Pastor/Coach/Mentor that is here along side me to help me heal and be set free to enjoy the life I am living now.

Comparison has robbed my joy, caused worry and anxiety, opened me up to fear to the point there is no peace, no display of love to God or others for what I do have. Where kindness is hinged off of wrong motive which all reflect lack of temperance and patience.

My Pastor/Coach has lovingly been guiding me toward a life more lived by the spirit and the fruit there of, more so than a life driven by what is carnal which is my thinking (my own logic and reasoning ~ self work or self reliance), my emotions which change like the tides and Gods word tells us to not be so tossed, my flesh which is the temperments that are part of who I am (these can and will change as they become more subjected to truth of what my temperment means to me and adding more exercise of the fruit of the spirit in my life).

This is my journey to save me from myself. I need to be free inwardly, love God with all my heart, soul, mind and strength, and those of the family of God he has blessed me with.

I am on the threshold of a new beginning and I am so excited to see as I keep doing the work as to the freedom inwardly I will have in time.

~Love Life ~ Live Life ~

~ Cynthia 😉