Broken Inside

There are times the infection seeps through the broken pieces.

Been going through some things. So I took some time away from blogging so as not to spew that onto my community platform.

My soul(mind,will, and emotions) has been getting in the way of my faith. So much in fact I didn’t walk in any fruit or spirit by any means of the word.

I allowed myself to stand in the way and perceive my faith had failed me. When it had not and my own thinking had failed me. What I thought was true has been brought to light that in reality it was all a lie and a long believed deception within my inner most being.

“Simon, Simon, behold, Satan has demanded permission to sift you like wheat; but I have prayed for you, that your faith may not fail; and you, when once you have turned again, strengthen your brothers.” But he said to Him, “Lord, with You I am ready to go both to prison and to death!” And He said, “I say to you, Peter, the rooster will not crow today until you have denied three times that you know Me.”Luke 22:31‭-‬34 NASB

To have a Pastor like Juanita Gibbs to stand with me in the very ill behavior, way of being, and attitude says alot about her level of love walk she has. She could and had every reason to not help me any longer.

She has stuck it out with me from the depths of pure hell almost from my inner most being to want to see me change and transform.

For that I am greatful and want to continue to change. The infection that resides within me that comes out through the broken pieces has the ability to destroy and that I dont want to continue to carry around.

Peter had Jesus praying for him even before the trial of his soul would come up. Jesus said I have prayed for you that your faith not fail you. My Pastor aliken to Jesus has done the same for me before this soul of mine became unruly and obstinate.

I have work to do to continue to change and I have to be committed to it to see it as a long lasting change and be a person that doesn’t destroy but one that walks in the fruit of the spirit.

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~Cynthia 😍

Freedom by Faith

Escaping Prison!

I have come to learn that how I am doesn’t always like the truth. I woukd take a lie as truth in a hot minute over the true truth.

This has kept me in prison if sorts. A prison of deception and hindered growth, maturity in areas, as well as, enforced a stronghold of deception in my mind.

How did I know I was in prison?

Well…

When truth has come I fight it. God has been very instrumental in using my Pastor Juanita Gibbs in my life. She is a realist and operates from realness and truth and this has been very much what I needed in my life.

Someone who would keep it real and genuine and yet still love me when the reality of my truth has surfaced.

Not many people are mature or capable within to handle another persons truth. So many will sit back and pass judgement and pray not spiritual prayers this creating an even bigger problem.

and you will know the truth, and the truth will make you free.”
John 8:32 NASB

To be set free I have to continually see the truth so it can cut the bonds of deception to release its hold within my soul.

Slowly freedom is coming, but I first had to see I was in a prison of my own making. God had nothing to do with me being in a prison of deception, I chose to be there by my choices.

He has given us the power of choice to walk in deception or to be free. We can walk around and knowingly or unknowingly be deceiving people.

But self-control allows us to choose to knowingly or unknowingly accept or reject the deception of others.

We shall know the truth and the truth alone makes us free!

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~Cynthia 😍

Walk with me…

We are not to be an island to ourself!

Human nature longs to feel needed, wanted, desired, appreciated, and ao many other things that God built within us to need Him and to need people in our life that are filled with him.

We can isolate due to many things like hurt, rejection, acceptance issues, being an introvert, or so many other reasons as to why we disconnect from others of humanity to not go through some things again or to not deal, whatever the case may be we are not to go at things alone.

I know for myself I have done some isolating in my past when things happened I wanted to be far away to not open my heart, my ability to love (which was small-it needed work), my obcessive care, etc.

But, what has happened is that my Pastor has lovingly shown me that is not only error to live as such a way as God built us for human connection. He built us to love one another as ourself, we are built to love our enemies, we are built to love our neighbor, we are built to guard our heart, we are built to observe the fruit of a person to know if its genuine or deception.

This is how we can know who is to walk with us in life and those who may be passing through your life to teach us something or to show us where we may need to improve. Iron sharpens iron in the life of a believer. But we to are called to love which is the greatest command of all.

~Love Life~Live Life~ 😍

~Cynthia

Love Affair Pt 2

Still just so scandalous…lol

Well todays love affair is about falling in love with the word of God. The true and living word that has the power to save and change our soul.

In my years in the faith I have over time been growing to learn to love the word, its truth and its abililty to transform me. In mt early time I would read the word just to read it and no real change came into my life.

As I began to study the word it helped me to begin to understand it some more. But with study there must be application to life. Now in thay I faultered! I read and studied to have a feel good emotion to get the through whatever was going on until it passed.

Where I attend church now in the last year and a half (almost) they have been teaching and emphasising the importance of study and life application of the truths from the word. To take them deep into my soul to right the wrongs, to heal the wounds, to loose the chains, to remove deception to grow to more in the image and likeness of Christ.

Change is hard and painful, but necessary to live out the plans, purposes, and call of God on your life. To change we have to be submissive to what the spirit of God wants. We may think we know whats best, but in actuality we don’t. For a man can plan his steps, but the Lord leads.

Learning to fall in love with the best love story ever given to us in humanity is also a journey. A God full of mercy and grace sent His only beloved son to earth to walk a life like we do, feel all that we feel, hurt like we have hurt, and still live out a ministry and gave his very lifes blood for the sins of us who sin where He knew no sin.

What a love for us that is provided. May that love flood our soul today and renew in it to keep feeling that love.

~Love Life~ Live Life~ 😍

~Cynthia 😉