Personal Acceptance

Discovering How Fearfully & Wonderfully Made I Am!

The subtitle of this blog is one that is near and dear to me, as it is the subtitle to my book Beauty from Ashes that is available on amazon.com. See link below the image to shop!

I am a woman that has battled personal acceptance, low self-esteem, low self-worth, lack of self-care, and having an over all bad view of myself. It was a pivotal turning point in March 2016 when on a trip it was brought to my attention just how negative I spoke about myself. I, in myself had no self awareness of the fact that I was so deeply negative I was inwardly.

Watch over your heart with all diligence, For from it flows the springd of life.”

Proverbs 4:23 AMP

Every word from my lips dripped with disdain of life, existence, purpose and destiny. It revealed a bitterness of heart due to roots of lack of self-acceptance and self-love! I was asked at that time, why was I like I was. My answer outright was “what does it really matter” in a sarcastic tone. That no matter what I did or do it never made any difference.

It was then that grace and patience with understanding and compassion were extended to me to help begin to uproot bad things and cultivate a new way of being. This work has been ongoing and will continue as it is needful in becoming a better woman for life!

Your thoughts create your reality!

~Juanita Gibbs

40 Day Detox of Negative Thinking

Amazon

She began working with me in the key fundamentals of personal care, life care, home care, developing a healthier interior, then working on my self esteem and self love. Others in the past that may have tried to assist me didn’t extent long periods of grace to help me grow and develop the way my counselor has in these last three years.

It has taken this long to grow even a lil sprout of self-acceptance. I have made progress in being more positive and speaking with hope. Being I would pick apart everything about me from my looks, my weight, my hair color, and more. It was when I realized that I am running down Gods creation that I have had to work through that.

I have been walking through a phase of discovering who I am, learning how I am made and slowly embracing the facts and truths about me, then learning what I need to do to work on becoming a better woman. Its not been easy for me and it wont be easy to continue to change and grow.

Growth is pain!

Development is a journey!

But, what I can say is that no matter how offended I may get at the truth, I need it. No matter how sensitive I am emotionally, I need tough love. Yes the wounds are there! Yes the strongholds are there! But, they are within my power to take them down within myself and get the healing I need deeper.

My encouragement to you is this: If me as stubborn as I am and can be can change, heal, and get delivered, then take this as a sign that you can too. It takes steps, falling down, getting back up, taking steps again and often falling and getting back up in a cycle to keep working to bring about change to your life as I am working to in mine.

Thank you for reading if you reaching this point leave me a comment below! 💝

Cynthia 💞

Shop Amazon for my book and the other book mentioned above! Thank you for your support!

Embracing Singleness

Relationship Status in a world that makes it idolized to be of a certain status!

In a world where status is everything so it seems, the world promotes that if your not married then your practically nothing.

To say the least many of us have cosigned with that mindset. But, is it true what they claim?

NO!

I can attest that being single is NOT the end all be all of our existence and neither is marriage. Both have their place in the world and in the church. Married folks (successful marriages) should be encouraged to pour wisdom into singles to help prepare them for their time.

Godly marriages have come along side me in my recent years and have helped burst the false bubbles of fantasy and instill reality and wisdom in the approach to relationships. I first had to embrace the fact that marriage is a long-term successful friendship.

Once I got this I was then challenged to learn to walk in love, this love walk was the one without conditions, boy thats been a challenge. Its been a growing pain of growing from where I once was cold to seeing some fruit of growth how be it ever small, but growth is growth.

The successful marriages showed me that even if marriage doesn’t come I need to learn to love myself and my journey. If someone comes along thats traveling the same road and we can go at it together great, if not; I still have a purpose and call of God to fulfill. Embracing this has brought a level of freedom that no matter my status I still have purpose.

I still have bouts of struggle with this from time to time, I won’t lie about that. Thats our human nature and a good one to have as long as its not our driving force. I was reminded once again to seek first the kingdom of God and all His righteousness them all those things can be added to me.

So, if you struggle being single, know that your not alone. Trust in God and His timing. Work on yourself, love yourself, enjoy yourself! Live life, love others, bring joy to those you can around you. Sow seeds of goodness and kindness where you can.

Love yourself enough to wait on the goodness of the Lord! Trust your preparation season, trust the growth, trust in the Love of the Father! He knows what He is doing, he loves you enough to keep you growing before you mess up any good thing He sends your way!

My book: Beauty from Ashes: Discovering How Fearfully and Wonderfully Made I Am! Shop Amazon

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The Darkness Within

Guard against what used to hold you captive!

I was driving home last night and I ran across a cd to hear some nostalgic tunes to listen to.

Well I put one in that had nothing written on it to see what in fact was on it. To my surprise it was a cd full of songs that were from a dark period of time in my life.

There was Korn, Evanescence, Seether, HIM, and more. As I began to listen, I began to feel the darkness begin to come back inviting me to sink into it. Inviting me back into the depression, inviting me back into the suicidal ideations, inviting me back into the not great view of myself.

“He reveals mysteries from the darkness And brings the deep darkness into light.”

‭‭Job‬ ‭12:22‬ ‭NASB‬‬

The darkness is like an old comforting blanket that says stay here, cuddle with me, you will be safe. When in reality that is a false sense of comfort as it kept me from enjoying, experiencing, and just true living. The darkness if I don’t keep it in check it would easily over take me. The darkness is joyless, passionless, and stagnant.

“Why is light given to him who suffers, And life to the bitter of soul,”‭‭Job‬ ‭3:20‬ ‭NASB‬‬

When the light finally dispelled the darkness in my life it not only brought me into the light, but it brought me to a place of seeking the Son. The light is joy-filled, passionate, and thriving!

“For with You is the fountain of life; In Your light we see light.”

‭‭Psalms‬ ‭36:9‬ ‭NASB

So, after a short stroll down memory lane with that cd and before I allowed that old energy to take and suck be back in, I removed the disk and listened to something different. In which was a powerful broadcast on dealing with a soul issue of abandonment! It was very impactful and liberating to tune into!

The darkness I have within is something I have to work to keep at bay the rest of my life! It is possible to do, it’s only impossible when I refuse to do my part! My job is to keep in the light as much as I can, by renewing my mind, staying in the word, dealing with the darkness as best I can when it shows itself! Sometimes I have even had to go to therapy to get help with it.

Don’t let darkness over take you, when there is so much more life in the light!

Cynthia 💕💝

My book

Beauty from Ashes: Discovering How Fearfully and Wonderfully Made I Am!

Amazon

Happy New Year!!! 🥂🍾

Who am I?

Have we not stopped and pondered the big life questions from time to time?

I know I have and often if not careful and send myself into a tail spin just mulling those huge questions over and over and over!

I haven’t blogged in a while as I stopped to get my book out, which is now available on amazon.com, even now that it is out the big questions come even more.

Does your message have any impact?

Is what you hoped your writing to be is it that?

What makes your story special?

Well, I had to come to this conclusion. My story has a set audience and those meant to find it will and it will greatly impact thier life!

My book and my story is multifaceted and not just one target area of change in my physical, but also a change in my spiritual.

I have had to dig down deep and pull from the roots of faith to realize I am a daughter of destiny and purpose. The process and journey that I am on is preordained and its up to me by faith to walk it out!

I tell you what though, leaps of faith are scary at times! I chose to put my story out there for the world that was a big leap for me! As I sat there finilizing everything and the button of “click to publish” was waiting to be pressed I had a moment of doubt flood me. I reached out to my life coach and asked should I really press this button?

Withour any hesitation at all she said ro me yes you should! I sat on edge for a few days waiting for it to come back approved for publish and available online! When it did go live it was one of the most joyful, tearfilled times of my life!

With that one successfully completed I have begun to work on my next book. I look forward to one day hearing the impact my writings have had on people.

Cynthia 💝

Stop Running Yourself Down!

We can disect ourselfs to the point of nothingness!

Learning to put the puzzle of my personhood back together!

Body positivity is one of many things I struggle with. I have been endeavoiring to learn that my body is what I am in and accepting every facet of it. This can be a hard pill to swallow! Especially when you have spent many years running yourself down like I have!

I have allowed so much of the opinions of others, the world, and society as a whole to tell me I am not good enough of a woman cause I don’t meet a certain criteria!

One day I was talking to a friend of mine which I happen to admire her councel and wisdom so very much, I happened to mention I wished I was skinny and tan! She said to me so lovingly to not want that, but to embrace the woman that I am, while yes working on myself!

In that moment I stopped and was on complete awe of the words she spoke. They have been said to me before granted, but some how this time it hit my soul differently! It came in a time when I have been pressing into establishing within my internal foundation some key fundamental truths that I need to have that I missed growing up.

Its only been as of recent that pressing into accepting myself wholly is beginning to bring small degrees of healing. The pieces of myself that I constantly want to change are being embraced back into my personhood as a whole.

It’s as if I was humpty dumpty broken and could not get put back together again until a level if healing had come. The lines of the puzzle are become less and less evident and becoming less visible to my critical eye. This is all healing to accept my individuality!

Cynthia

~Beauty for Ashes