Now that I have asked, now prepare!

We are to prepare for what we pray for!

In my time as it has been if singlehood it has provided me time to pray and seek the Lord and its a great time to spend with my Savior. Developing that true and lasting relationship with communication and worshipping his majesty, thanking him for his goodness, grace and mercy in thanksgiving. To study and delve into his guide book for all things concerning life to navigate the path here on the earth.

In times past though I hated continuing to remain single. It was as if my mind decided to name it a plague or something. But when God got hold of me through my wonderful Pastor Juanita Gibbs to show me in reality it is a blessing and a prepatory time was revolutuonary for me. It held begin to reshape my thinking on the whole thing.

Later, as time has gone on she has helped me tackle some wring stronhild thinking that I have had about it and to begin to bring healing to places from damage in my soul from my past, how I have lived this life that seriously needed attention as I had tried for so long to put a man in those places and always ended up hurt and the more empty due to the contents of my soul.

Her book up above(which can be purchased on Amazon) has helped me have a paradigm shift to loose fear, doubt and worry and begin to have faith, hope and trust in God that in time He provides whats needed. Where I had thought it may just bot happen for me and that thought is not in line with the word of God. So it is to he captured when comes and cast down (2 Corin 10:4-5).

Freedom from old stuff is a process and it takes time. As to why the word of God is the best guide book to have in this life as it touches all subjects including relationships. Her book has helped me begin to shift my mind and see myself as a winner in the faith and trust in God and His timing.

These books below are others that I have read in time past before going to the church that has so wonderfully aided me in my life far more than theae books as my lraders know me and my battles and issues as they have taught the best knowledge is your own personal experiance and gaining wisdom from those who know you personally to help naviagte the journey.

In no particular order:

This book is great for understand yourself and how you commincate in showing/displaying love to those in your life.

This book mainly focuses on enjoying single life! I passed my copy on to encourage other single sisters, but God replaced the copy when He sent me a leader in my Pastor who tells me the same thing. Enjoy, live, focus on God, walk in my purpose and his will. She is my book of wisdom since the others fully cannot relate to me as she can relate me to my story and prepare me.

This book was pretty much a reinforcement to my Pastors councel to trust God. As this spoke about divine timing and God doing the work to bring about His will and plans for my life.

This book expounded on Ruths story. She focused on her purpose with Noami and Boaz found her. Our bishop has spoke on her story in times to wait to be found by him as we are about our Fathers business. To stop falling for the words of a Bozo (lol) but wait while God works. Wait patiently with good attitude.

This book also reinforced the concept of time and touched on boundaries and enlightened that if you have things going on in your life you may not need to be in a relationship where we need wait and get healing first just as my Pastor focuses on with us. Heal the inner and if its Gods will He will bring things to pass.

This one is a premartial counceling book. That focuses on reflecting marriage as marriage of christ and the church as to which that is what earthly union should reflect when 2 born again believers come together.

This book opened up more the concept from the prior book, but showed more the difficulty and challenges in union on one flesh. As my pastor has taught us that 2 becoming one is an undertaking of understanding, forgiveness, and unconditional love to not quit when things get hard, but to keep at it.

This one I have not read, but I have read the book Boundaries just not this targeted area. But my Pastor has been instilling in me boundaries are very important in all kinds of relationships.

I so love my church Reformation Developmental Center where they speak on practical wisdom tips as well as full depth of the word of God to bring us insight into all things in this life.

~Love Life~Live Life~😍

~Cynthia πŸ˜‰

Waiting Power

There is power found in waiting which brings about growth!

There is one things to say that when your single and you desire a relationship that God will test your heart and find out where He stand with you all the while still promising things unseen.

Well He has with me anyway. Just like the children of Isreal when he took them from bondage of slavery to the egyptians and into the wilderness. He said to them worship me the one true God who removed you from captivity and is taking you to a land flowing with milk and honey.

What happens next after they were saved by God and given the promise, the test. Where they will gonna worship God for all he had just done or worship the promise. He put them in the wilderness to find they worshipped the promise of land with milk and honey over him so they grumbled and complained. An eleven day journey took 40 years.

Its the same way today with some of us, but I will focus on myself mainly. I was saved by grace given new spiritual life, I was saved by mercy and given new life in the natural, he set me free and gave promise and now in the wilderness I have seen where I worshipped the promise over the God who saved me. He has(is) tested(ing) my heart.

I have added on time to my journey by not being patient and going by what the world says over allowing my process to happen. The wilderness reveals who we really are my Pastor just brought out to us not long ago.

And boy oh boy my wilderness has showed me that I have got perspective in error. My perspective was worship Gods hand and the promise.

I am after all a child of God right and He will come through for me! That statement is loaded with pride as if God owed me something when in reality I owe God my life and service.

The power in my waiting is allowing my process to happen, growing me in areas that need to be developed in before the promise. To cause my spiritual walk to be stronger, my soul to not rule my every move but be under subjection to the word of God. To understand God wants me to keep him first in my life and to love him with all of myself as he loves me so eternally and uncondtionally.

The power of my wait is not attaining the promise but to be the best woman of God for Him and His glory until such time He sends someone to walk the journey of faith with me. There is fullness and completeness in God that satisfies like nothing else so even if the promise doesn’t come I have a great and perfect love with God and Jesus and the Holy spirit.

~Love Life~Live Life~ 😍

~Cynthia πŸ˜‰

Single and Happy

There is a time and season for all things!

It is widely popular now that if your not with someone then there has to be something wrong with you.

Is there something wrong with me?

I am single and have been a very long time!

Does that make my humanity any less than someone involved with someone?

The world and times would say yes there is something wrong with me. In some cases yes the church world would also! Yes! I said it the church also!

Not to many in the area I reside have singles geared programs, teachings on how to be am effective single, being a single christian and devoting your time to God in that season.

It wasn’t until I started going to Reformation Developmental Center pastored by Juanita Gibbs where she began to open up my world to me that my time of singleness is a gift to be treasured.

I am free to serve the kingdom as much as I can without distractions. I dont have to subject my earnings to anyone else before I give to the kingdom. I don’t have to subject my body but to God in this time when I want to fast and such.

Yes, I admit being single and remaining as such has gotten me down in the past. I have allowed man made ideas, holidays and the like to tell me what I am suppose to be as a 30ish single.

But what does God say about it as His truth trumps the ideals of men. God says seek me with your whole heart. Seek me first, keep me first, surrender everything to me. That is Gods order and design.

As I mentioned in my last singles post by doing the seeking and work on my own that was my self will not Gods will. He killed every plan that was not of his plan and purposes. Thank God He did too.

My time of singleness is to work on my inner life to have my soul prosper. To correct the inner issues, to heal the inner wounds, to subject myself to the God who knows whats best for me. He proclaims His ways are higher, his thoughts are higher.

Man oh man are they ever. Had God not stepped in and stopped my plans how much heartache and pain in the long run has he saved me from and from inflicting on another.

My soul issues could and have done serious damage left unattended. I am learning slowly to love life as a single, give my all to God, serve him in my current purpose and seek him and keep him first.

God says keep humble and at the proper time exultation will come for them who remain humble. Humble left the building on me the other day and seeing it deeply grieves me. Pride genuinley comes before the fall.

When you fall, fall and look at why you fell then see why you fell and learn from it to keep from repeating it. Only the meek can inherit the earth as the earth is His and the fullness there of and having a level of pride negates the capacity of God to show himself as He knows he wont be glorified.

Humble will glorify God over self. These are just things that I am learning and discovering about myself in my time now without distractions as I am finding contentmemt and trust slowly as it comes to my relationship with God.

As I allow Him into my life he is filling me with himself and His truth to be free from old bondage, be healed from past woundings, and to live a life that glorfies him over any thing and everything I can or have done.

My Pastor who has helped me embrace my singleness and learn about myself in this time. She does also teach on the fundamentals of relationships and the dynamics of it all.

Please don’t misunderstand these posting either of a bitter or hatefilled singlehood. No this is just an enlightenment on my journey.

Every single persons journey is different. I am just expressing and showing that you can find happiness in the status that is so widely not popular to have.

~Love Life~ Live Life~ 😍

~Cynthia πŸ˜‰

Delight

Take delight and joy in the love of God in my season of singleness!

To be honest I conformed to the world and listen to what its message was in regards to singleness. That if your of a certain age and still single you better get out there and make some moves or you may remain single.

I chased men, asked them out, built friendships in motive of looking to fulfill my longings to remove the singleness status and conform to this world.

You know what happened with them all? They all ended in disaster and heartbreak on my part. The motives I had in it was all wrong.

When God intervened in a huge blessing type way to remove the last one it removed distraction and He could begin to work on me and why I kept conforming to the world.

He began to show me those issues I have blogged about already and the latest he has shown me was that I back burnered the Love of God for the Love of Men.

God is a jealous God!

He saw I put that man up as an idol and made him a God in my view. Cause as my Pastor told me if they were not made a God in my view then when they left I would not have felt empty and like I couldn’t go on with life.

He is showing me that I forsook my first love for another and that is in error on my part.

Repentance and genuine heartfelt broken repentance has come to say God I am so sorry I replaced you for another.

God knows that if this goes undealt with I will keep repeating the same pattern of putting another above Him. He proclaims over and over seek me first and don’t forsake your 1st love. This is Gods order of things.

Listening to the world I bypassed His instruction and listen to the wrong directions that lead to distruction. These cycles and issues require me to do some work within to keep from going down those same roads.

Taking my delight in His love for me. Thanking Him for the God given people he has given me. Praising him for the Godly leadership that is before me to help me to see my inner issues and begin to mature me in those areas as a believer and conforming to Gods way and shedding the worlds way.

God is my portion! He sent a man to die for me when I didn’t deserve it to forgive my sins. He unconditionally loves me even when I fail like a good father he helps me get up and try again.

Allowing that love to fill me up so I can show it to others is what He is about. Love is the greatest command. Love covers a multitude of sin. Love is Patient, kind, gentle, unboasting, and confident in the eternalness of His love when human love has its limits.

When God see’s I am firm in Him and his love and that he keeps proper place of first in time he will send a man after Gods heart. He will do it, not me! That was the missing component, I moved ahead of God.

So, for now yes my season of singleness has purpose and that is taking delight in whom God is and that is a loving Father and learning who I am deeply on the inside and loving me! Love is taken in with self first and filled up then overflow comes as love grows.

~Love Life~Live Life~ 😍

~Cynthia πŸ˜‰

Uncommon Love

Uncommon: Out of the ordinary or unusual.

What is such love that it is uncommon?

Well…..

For me that is being shown love in a way that I have not known.

To be told “I love you” to be told loving words of any kind for me is uncommon.

Why is it uncommon?

Well, in the home in which I grew up in and raised you were known you were loved by deeds. They would buy gifts to show love or sacrifice to show love. The love language was gifts and acts of service that was mainly expressed in my home. So those types of love expressions became what was common.

When the uncommon came in words of praise(affirmation), physical connection (hug), or quality time it was not only foreign, but I saw that my soul has longings for those types of love moreso than the other love that was commonly expressed to me.

What has begun to take place is that now I see what my soul has been devoid of from early years of growing.

Growing without proper nourishment in the inner life can bring on issues as we get older.

That has proven to be the case for me anyway. I also saw that I used outside things to fill the voids in my soul like food, books, men when they have come into my life.

This year my relationship to food has been shifting. My relationship to books has been also shifting, as well as, how I view men has been shifting. I used to be one of those women that if a man comes in my life he will help me, give me attention or make me complete in some way. Boy oh boy has that ever proven to be false.

The only man who can complete any woman or man with the same issue is Jesus. Only he can fill the deep voids within my soul.

My time with God to grow and develop a level of maturity, as well as, letting God be my portion until God see’s that I am healed and prepared for promotion to being in a Godly relationship that brings him Glory, hope will continue to anchors my soul that in time He will come through for me on things.

Until then my time is full of seeking him first, studying truth, worship him in spirit and in truth for just who he is and allowing His love to come and fill me up. God has sent people into my life that have been used of him to show me love in the uncommon forms to begin to take me through healing phases.

Its getting better in stages as I see I still have work to do on me and working on me to be the best version of me is the most important as when I am full of the God kind of love it can begin to spill out into my surroundings and walk more in this love than ever before.

~Love Life~ Live Life~ 😍

~Cynthia πŸ˜‰

What’s love got to do with it?

That question has been circling for a while now.

In the world in which we reside what does love have to do with it?

In the Biblical sense there are various forms of love.

  • AgapeUnconditional Love
  • Phileo Brotherly Love
  • Storge Family Love
  • Eros Passionate Love

The world in which we are passing through only focus and spot light one type of love. Its seen in commercials, magazine ads, movies and its beginning to filter into some children programs.

To focus on one type of love will only continue to polute a society that if the one love fades its ok to leave it and move on to another for that same type of love. Hense the high divorce rate and people electing to even marry.

When true love of God (Agape) is deeply ingrained in an individual then the other loves will have proper placement. My pastor has been teaching on Agape love that I see I need to come up in it.

Agape as was mentioned is unconditional love. When people cross you, irritate, run you down, reject you, abandon you, etc there is a love that can be pulled on to get through it and keep loving others as we are commanded by God to do.

My human love has limitations I will admit. These limits come from the woulds of rejection, abandonment and lack or love nourishment in my young years of growing up.

But, now as I keep learning about Gods love even if I am rejected God loves me. When I am crossed or offended I must forgive and continue in love. For God forgave me much then I must also forgive and walk in His love. This is what love has to do with it.

This world in which we reside thrives on negativity and drama and wants to feed your feelings of rejection, abandonment, offense and ways to cause strife.

When we manage those feelings as we pull on Agape we can cause the inner issues to begin to starve and die off when we quit feeding them. This is what love has to do with it.

The love of God has everything to do with it!

~Love Life~ Live Life~ 😍

~Cynthia πŸ˜‰

Perfect Love

It can cast out fear!

But to know love we must first be love.

To be love we must accept the love we didn’t deserve but grace gave it any way.

God gave His only son out of love for us.

The word of God is Gods love letter to us. The greatest command is to love!

So, the question becomes…

Have I accepted the full magnitude of the love that was provided for me?

Have I taken that love deep within?

Am I that love?

To be perfectly honest…No!

Maybe on a good day I can show some of the love thats been given to me. On a good day I can be some what that love to another. On a good day I can take in that love that was given.

Human love is conditional and limited.

Gods love is eternal and limitless.

Well atleast it is within myself. As I can only share from my perspective is that I see my limitations when it comes to receiving love and giving love.

There is all kinds of love that God spoke about (Agape, Phileo, Eros, Sorge,etc) and books have been written about it and to further break down the love demonstrations has even been written on in book the 5 Love Languanges (Yes I have it and have read it).

To be love and show love and receive love I must grow my fruit of love that came in at my salvation.(Galatians 5:22)

To grow the fruit of love is to exercise it. How do I exercise it? Daily we are given opportunity to show, walk or accept love in some way. It is how then when it is continued to be exercised that the perfect love comes in and fear begins to flee.

I still have to work the fruit of love in my life as it is a command to love and to be obedient to that truth is submission to the word and what it has commanded as a life for Christ to be and show in the world we live. His love in us can be a light and salt to the world. It compells and causes those who love is shown to, to be drawn and to thirts appropriatley for the love of God.

~Love Life~ Live Life~ 😍

~Cynthia πŸ˜‰

Time Spent

How we manage our time in a day is up to us!

I do believe I am going to incorporate spending more time in the word of God and studying.

One day who knows when though, but we must prepare nonetheless to hide the word in our heart for when the actual written text is taken from us.

In my current studies of Psalm 119 one of the verses are: “I have hidden your word in my heart.” Now that is a statement to behold. The psalmist proclaimed that he hid the word of the Lord in his heart. After all, most if not all the psalms were penned by David. King David known as a “man after Gods own heart”. Yes David has his faults and short comings as we all do. But still he was known as such.

Have we hidden the word in our heart?

I may have some nuggets in me, but the question then becomes are those nuggets enough to hold me in the test, trial, tribulation or temptation comes?

How is my attitude, stance, faith, emotions, words spoken when those thing come? Because those will reveal if you do or do not have enough of the word hidden within or not.

Do I faulter and retreat into the old of worry, doubt, fear and anxiety? Or, do I see it for what it is, cast the care on the Lord, do what I can and go on by faith that it is all gonna work out?

Its our choice!

My choice (surrender) is pressing me to insert more into my heart and mind to be able to fight the good fight of faith! Learning to walk more by faith and not sight. Allowing his truth and goodness to pierce the dark places within to bring newness and light.

~Love Life~ Live Life~ 😍

~Cynthia πŸ˜‰

Bad Friendship!

Rejection and fear have a friendship that work together in unity in a wounded soul.

When rejection happens many times over it brings damage to the soul. The soul begins to find ways to heal, but if not being healed with good methods then it adds to the wounding creating a scar within. Least thats how it has been in my life.

Wounds of rejection would happen and my healing method was to let fear come in and protect me. Fear soothed the wound that if I never get close to anyone again then the pain wouldn’t come again by another rejection. But what happened when another cane along into my life?

Well…

They would come and over time yup I let the next one right on into my heart. What happened next was any sign that they were rejecting me I would begin to close off as I was being deemed unacceptable to them. I would wall up and push them away to save the fragile pieces of my heart as best I could from fear of it happening again.

Once wounding began to create other ways of wounding myself within my soul. It was so strong the fear and rejection that I began to shut out good people that God had placed in my life making time with me very difficult. Difficult to the place that I began to expect them to leave me.

But that all stemed from fear and rejection of the past. When they have reinforced to me they are God sent and yes its proven that they are that I still fear the most that people will leave me.

I am told that faith and fear work similar just with different results. The very things I have feared that people would continually come and go has happened. But, I can only manage myself, if something about me is rejected and they want to leave then thats their reasons.

I just have to manage myself with overcoming the fear and rejection issue to not push people away and guard my heart to not take people into my heart so quickly or easily. I need to slow down allow time on the scene and let things be proven.

When God sends me people with a heart after his, yes they may judge and show concern, but also accept that they too have issues and we all are working to overcome and accept each other on our faith journey in life.

~Love Life ~ Live Life~ 😍

~Cynthia πŸ˜‰

Anchors away!!

This year 2017 has been an anchoring year for me.

Since March of this year the word anchor as well as its imagery became such a reminder of the things I discovered relative to it.

It was on a trip in March that I purchased a leather bracelet that I had engraved with “Faith βš“Hope” to only go on a discovery that what I had enscribed was almost scriptural. The very next day in my timeline I saw “Hope Anchors the Soul” that resonnated with me.

In Hebrews 6:19 is where anchor is found in the word of God that just confirmed so much. I began to study anchors and their function and their symbolostic meanings. Like for example mariners use anchors as a symbol of faith as it has the appearance of a cross.

Anchors are used to keep vessels stable in turbulence or just in a place of resting to keep from going off course. This anchoring information became a way to affirm my faith and reaffirm when things go bad.

Sometimes we just need a little reminder that God is with us in the storm he is our good father and shepherd. Sometimes we have to change inwardly to be able to see even a small amout of the goodness of God. He shall supply all our need according to his riches in glory. I thank Him for all he has provided unto me so far in life.

My permanent reminder(tattoo) that change is good, especially when it is to anchor into the ultimate source of life.

~Love Life ~ Live Life~ 😍

~Cynthia