Faith In The Solid Rock

God is solid and firm and worthy of our trust!

For too long I tried to rely on my strength and will to get things done. Little not knowing at the time that was operating from my strong self-will.

It has taken time and I still struggle with it at times to fully rely on God to be my strength and to pull on Him and His will for my life to submit my will to His.

This is because of building a intimate relationship with God through His word, praying, and worshipping Him for who He is.

In myself I used my strengths as a stronghold and those fortresses were fortified with dececption, self-righteousness, and lies of the world. These have had to be torn down to build new strongholds of the word inside my soul.

“God is my strong fortress; And He sets the blameless in His way.
2 Samuel 22:33 NASB

Now that God has used Pastor Juanita Gibbs powerfully in my life to help bring down those strongholds. Which leave voids that have to be refilled with good things. Those good things come from the word of God.

Slowly constructing new and better strongholds take time, and much meditatiom of thr true word of God. Practicing what His word says to live out and constantly pulling on self-control when things want to pull me away from getting into His word and back into the old ways and stronghold habits.

Trusting fully in His word and resting upon Him in it takes confidence that God is not man who can lie and ee can rest in His faithful goodness. My soul cam take anchor in the solid rock that is God.

~Cynthia 😍

Transition

Moving from fear to faith!

When fear has been a resident inside my soul for so long I have to serve fear eviction papers. It didn’t like getting served… no way!

Fear begins to scream out:

  • This is your comfort place look how its kept you!
  • I can keep you from hurting!
  • This is the best place for you! Whats beyond this for someone like you?
  • Your fine like you are!
  • And more

The things fear will begin to scream out sound true initially as they are familiar. They are an established fortress of lies I have believed for far too long!

So, what has to happen and has begun to happen to begin to get me to shift from fear to faith?

Well…

I have to first know the voice of fear and anything else joined with it like doubt, worry, and anxiety. This way when they rise up within me I can identify the voice and begin to pull on faith and the word to counter attack the contents in my soul.

Am I doing a good job at this fight?

Some days Heck No! I fall right back into the old way.

Other days I have my sword in hand slicing and dicing every fear and anxious voice that comes up within.

I have to be repetitious in the battle. My Pastor she has taught us that:

“Repetition is the mother of success, if you want to succeed you have to keep doing it over and over and over again until it becomes your new normal” ~ Juanita Gibbs

When I fail at the battle I have to dust myself off see if I can locate the weakness and to why this test took me down and exercise ways to not let it get to me so bad in the next test.

Will I ever be free of fear? No!

Fear is an emotion and I have to learn to manage it. That fear management is real just like how anger management is real for some.

I can be very emotionally lead at times if I allow fear and any other emotion have its way. I can also be very logically lead by my own thoughts and analyzations…but that is a whole other subject.

I want to be able to manage the fear level within me to begin to live by faith over the fears. I have to keep the sword of the word of God that is truth to help me get there. Day by day I hope to make strides to keep turning from fear to faith.

~Love Life ~ Live Life ~ 😍

~Cynthia πŸ˜‰

Fear of Change

Change in the beginning is rather daunting!

In the beginning of change it can be like full on war within. Breaking away from the old to work toward the new way you hope and invision to be.

When I choose to make the decision to shed my vast amount of negativity oh boy. I needed to have an arsenal of scripture to combat every negative word. I needed a person anointed to bring change to a life to pray me through, talk me through, be with me at my side til the battle wasn’t so intense within and managable with the tools they provided.

Two days into waging war within to move to a new way of life I was completley like “what in the world have I decided to do here!” Day 3 the war within was just as intense and I asked my Pastor was there any hope for me as the battle got worser and worser so it seemed.

The things I had built within due to years of living negativley were screamin out “don’t change its easier to be this way” and honestly it was easier to be that way as I had been that way for so long. But, my eyes had been open to what fruit of a negative life produced.

The fruit of negative is more negative. So the things within me didnt want me to change as they became comfort amd kept me bound by much fear and the fear spread to other areas of life like an infection does when it goes untreated.

My spirit longed for the change and my soul said no stay in the comfort of what you have built. By day four the battle seemed to lessen, still there but not as full on waging war within.

I recently found a scripture I used for my sunday school children that proclaimed the end of a thing is better than its beginning (Ecc 7:8) and if that isn’t ever so true I have found. The battle is confidently in the beginning.

When you see the end of it you can appreciate the fight put up to get to the end of it with his grace, strength, and mercy. Cause many times I am weak in the battle as I see no hope in changing and I see that is the fear within trying to have its way to prevent change and live differently.

Have I shed fear? No! Fear is part of human nature. It is like my pastor tells me its how we deal with the emotion and thoughts related when they come. She says yes feel them, learn why they showed up and work to not dwelling in them to lead me. As fear has lead my life for far too long as it is. With the tools she is giving me I am learning to slowly manage me better as my self management is my job. God graces us to do it for ourself, but He won’t do the work for us!

~Love Life~ Live Life ~ 😍

~Cynthia

F.O.M.O to Y.O.L.O

Talking in abbreviations…LOL

We live in a world of fast movement, instant gratification, inpatience, haste. But, when the unexpected wait, delay, etc happens we get all in a tizzy. Well, I know I have in those moments.

We even get that way with God we get full of pride and anger with God when He don’t answer us when the prayer drops as if He owes us our prayer request. When the reality of the matter of delay in answer is that He wants us to grow!

But, what happen for me was that when prayers haven’t been answered I began to loose faith and trust that God even heard me, like my prayers hit a ceiling and not gone through. Thinking that I was bad aweful sinner and had done many bad things to not have Gods ear incline to my prayer and essentially this added to the walls I had built inside.

The stronghold of fear got more fortiefied and reinforced everytime I felt disappointed by God not answering my prayer.

I was coming home from the beach Saturday and flipping through the radio I heard a brief conversation and the radio person said to a caller I believe that they were batteling F.O.M.O. course that got my attention of what does that mean.

F.O.M.O = Fear of missing out

When I heard that a message broken down God began to speak to me in my spirit. Some of it is flowing out in this blog. Because of my walls, my overly prudent nature of living in future and not my present, and inpatience, that fear has been a battle to overcome even in small layers.

In recent, I have been working on my thought life to begin to shift my paradigm. I had in a month been working hard on the thought realm of my mind. Unaware things had begun to shift within to bring about a place of gaining positive over the vastly negative I have lived.

When the message on radio came it was like that is how I have been living. I was so afraid of missing out that I didn’t live in my now. The radio person kept talking to whomever and or I turned radio off I heard Y.O.L.O. in my spirit.

Y.O.L.O = You only live once.

In my beginning to retrain my mind I had begun to shed a layer of fear. By using the word of God to negate the bad and think more positive. By doing this trust has begun to flow within reigniting belief and empowering me to exercising my measure of faith.

The budlings of new fruit are rising to the surface in my soul and as I keep at the work my soul will begin to prosper and then God can prosper me in other ways as I keep growing and developing. As I appreciate my now and live for my now time. Fear can flee for God dont give us a spirit of fear, but of Power, love and a sound mind

~Love Life ~ Live Life ~ 😍

~Cynthia πŸ˜‰

Ambiverts discontentment!

Caught between and introvert and extrovert!

How can it be that you have tendancies of both ways of being and be discontent?

Well for me as I am known to have both tendancies my discontentment comes from many things. Having walls as a safety built inside causes me to wall or shut people out very much from the damage in my soul and the seclusion for many years of being introvertish.

Over time and things changing in my life I branched out and did more things and I wanted to be around people even to the point of allowing things I shouldn’t have that caused pain later on.

Being thirsty for companionship of a friend I spent many years chasing people to be a friend to me after a mere nice thing said when the reality was. They was just being nice and moving on. So the extrovertish way of thirsting for people to be around to find a level of validation was an hurtful one to keep walking through.

So the wanting to be around people to the point of almost feeling like it was needed and they wouldnt remain, issued a layer of rejection. Which they only rejected the fact they didnt want a frienship, just wanted to be nice and go on with life. This aided in the walls of the introvertish ways to remain walled up to prevent continual pain.

This is how this ambivert found discontentment within. The issue of wanting to be around people and they not wanting to be around me and the way I can shut them out due to being a bit introvertish is a bit of a battle inwardly.

But, shedding the light on my battle may help another if they find themself like I have beginning to take down the walls with people I know and can trust that have proved they accept me faults and all, as well as, now learning to guard better that no, not everyone will be a friend they can be polite and keep moving and it will keep my heart from being open to more hurt or rejection.

~Love Life ~ Live Life ~ 😍

~Cynthia πŸ˜‰

Power Hungry Fortresses!

We may not realize it, but how our behaviors indicate our hunger for power and control!

Things happen to us, around us, and within us most all the time. Its all in how we perceive, receive and deal with what happens to us of how much it will either reinforce a fortress (stronghold) in our mind or bring it down. These are some of my walls built inside me that engage when things happen.

For me, having such lack of proper nutrients in formative years, and rejection, abandonmemt, comparison and acceptance issues all these things have been a strong fortress within my soul.

As I have blogged about already these things within take time to overcome, as they, like Rome were not built in a day, but in a lifetime up to the point of beginning to confront and deal with them.

Sitting in church last night during discussion time I began to see where I had been using all the bad things of my past to control and manipulate my surroundings in some way. I was shocked at my behavior and devistated that I would allow such power to over rule the power of God. All because of these fortresses within me, when things would happen everything inside of me began to hasten to regain control that felt lost.

In reality of the matter, care came into my life in the form of my Pastor to shed light on an area I dearly needed addressing or I would continue to walk around open to hurt, pain, wounding the more.

Care and love in a soul that lacked knowing of any of such things growing up is foreign and not received graciously in the beginning as it is like paving a new road. Hitting rocks, holes and all such desbrie to clear a path of what is good in the uncharted territory of a soul like mine. I do pray in time as I tackle the negative still within, continue to tackle the fortresses with truth to take them down that a newness will begin to take shape in my life.

~Love Life ~ Live Life ~ 😍

~Cynthia πŸ˜‰

Visit my Pastor Juanita Gibbs blog:

wholebodywellness365.wordpress.com