Instant Gratification

Learning to wait on the Lord in a “gotta have it now” society.

Waiting nowadays is one of the hardest things imaginable. For example its getting colder now as Fall season is upon us and I happened to be a coffee shop this past saturday. The brood of people before me all placed their order and waited.

I placed my order then got to wait also. I went and sat down at the coffee bar and waited what I felt was very patiently. I saw all the folks ahead of me one by one obtain their drink order. The shop manager struck up a conversation with me as he was cleaning, taking out trash, I told him it was obvious it was the busy season amd many orders (like 6) were ahead of mine. The folks ahead of me ordering all left so I was so excited mine was next right.

But, that wasn’t the case at all. The baristas were behind the counter hustling and makin coffee for the drive through orders and in house orders all in a tizzy of coffee madness.

One by one the folks behind me got all their coffee also. By this time the shop manager came back out and asked me what had I ordered so my coffee could be located. It had already been made but was never called out. The young lady barista looks at the store manager in frustration declaring “well why didnt she say something before now”.

I looked as I felt my flesh rising with the snappy remark and I said to both I saw you were busy so unlike some I exercised patience. This is the busy season after all for warm beverages and I could wait patiently. The store manager thanked me for waiting patiently.

Now the quandry with this senario is, not long ago I probably wouldn’t have been so patient in this situation. I would have lost my cool and been very snappy back with the young barista lady. In a season of time my pastor has expressively stated about the importance of exercising/walking in the fruit of the spirit in hard press times.

I wait for the Lord , my soul does wait, And in His word do I hope.
Psalms 130:5 NASB

My soul (mind, will, and emotions) has had to grow to a place of using the fruits of the spirit to grow in character. Believe me my personal character needed and needs to grow.

There have been times when I would wait on things from God and when they didnt come or happen when I wanted them too I would be just like a 2yr old having a tantrum. That was all the more unbecoming of someone in my physical age. This way of thinking had to be clipped as it kept me in a place of perpetual depression and anxiety. Plus, it wasn’t a full life of faith and trust in God.

Learning to wait on the Lord comes with many senarios of developing a patient way of being. The more I grow patient with the Lord and what He wants done in my character has proven to be far more important than receiving any blessing.

So, if your waiting on God please know your wait has purpose. It has character developing times if you allow that to happen. Waiting doesn’t mean doing nothing either. Waiting is a way of being and a way of thinking.

Waiting requires a mindset change, its one that is worth fighting to shift.

~Cynthia 😉

Broken Inside

There are times the infection seeps through the broken pieces.

Been going through some things. So I took some time away from blogging so as not to spew that onto my community platform.

My soul(mind,will, and emotions) has been getting in the way of my faith. So much in fact I didn’t walk in any fruit or spirit by any means of the word.

I allowed myself to stand in the way and perceive my faith had failed me. When it had not and my own thinking had failed me. What I thought was true has been brought to light that in reality it was all a lie and a long believed deception within my inner most being.

“Simon, Simon, behold, Satan has demanded permission to sift you like wheat; but I have prayed for you, that your faith may not fail; and you, when once you have turned again, strengthen your brothers.” But he said to Him, “Lord, with You I am ready to go both to prison and to death!” And He said, “I say to you, Peter, the rooster will not crow today until you have denied three times that you know Me.”Luke 22:31‭-‬34 NASB

To have a Pastor like Juanita Gibbs to stand with me in the very ill behavior, way of being, and attitude says alot about her level of love walk she has. She could and had every reason to not help me any longer.

She has stuck it out with me from the depths of pure hell almost from my inner most being to want to see me change and transform.

For that I am greatful and want to continue to change. The infection that resides within me that comes out through the broken pieces has the ability to destroy and that I dont want to continue to carry around.

Peter had Jesus praying for him even before the trial of his soul would come up. Jesus said I have prayed for you that your faith not fail you. My Pastor aliken to Jesus has done the same for me before this soul of mine became unruly and obstinate.

I have work to do to continue to change and I have to be committed to it to see it as a long lasting change and be a person that doesn’t destroy but one that walks in the fruit of the spirit.

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~Cynthia 😍

Walk with me…

We are not to be an island to ourself!

Human nature longs to feel needed, wanted, desired, appreciated, and ao many other things that God built within us to need Him and to need people in our life that are filled with him.

We can isolate due to many things like hurt, rejection, acceptance issues, being an introvert, or so many other reasons as to why we disconnect from others of humanity to not go through some things again or to not deal, whatever the case may be we are not to go at things alone.

I know for myself I have done some isolating in my past when things happened I wanted to be far away to not open my heart, my ability to love (which was small-it needed work), my obcessive care, etc.

But, what has happened is that my Pastor has lovingly shown me that is not only error to live as such a way as God built us for human connection. He built us to love one another as ourself, we are built to love our enemies, we are built to love our neighbor, we are built to guard our heart, we are built to observe the fruit of a person to know if its genuine or deception.

This is how we can know who is to walk with us in life and those who may be passing through your life to teach us something or to show us where we may need to improve. Iron sharpens iron in the life of a believer. But we to are called to love which is the greatest command of all.

~Love Life~Live Life~ 😍

~Cynthia

Perfect Love

It can cast out fear!

But to know love we must first be love.

To be love we must accept the love we didn’t deserve but grace gave it any way.

God gave His only son out of love for us.

The word of God is Gods love letter to us. The greatest command is to love!

So, the question becomes…

Have I accepted the full magnitude of the love that was provided for me?

Have I taken that love deep within?

Am I that love?

To be perfectly honest…No!

Maybe on a good day I can show some of the love thats been given to me. On a good day I can be some what that love to another. On a good day I can take in that love that was given.

Human love is conditional and limited.

Gods love is eternal and limitless.

Well atleast it is within myself. As I can only share from my perspective is that I see my limitations when it comes to receiving love and giving love.

There is all kinds of love that God spoke about (Agape, Phileo, Eros, Sorge,etc) and books have been written about it and to further break down the love demonstrations has even been written on in book the 5 Love Languanges (Yes I have it and have read it).

To be love and show love and receive love I must grow my fruit of love that came in at my salvation.(Galatians 5:22)

To grow the fruit of love is to exercise it. How do I exercise it? Daily we are given opportunity to show, walk or accept love in some way. It is how then when it is continued to be exercised that the perfect love comes in and fear begins to flee.

I still have to work the fruit of love in my life as it is a command to love and to be obedient to that truth is submission to the word and what it has commanded as a life for Christ to be and show in the world we live. His love in us can be a light and salt to the world. It compells and causes those who love is shown to, to be drawn and to thirts appropriatley for the love of God.

~Love Life~ Live Life~ 😍

~Cynthia 😉

Love Affair Pt 3 (Final installment)

The scandal continues!!

Well ya’ll in these months of coming to learn to love myself and the true word of God. The affair branches out one last time to include loving God for who He is!

Yes loving God just for who He is in my life! Learning to worship him in spirit and in truth and not just worship to get things.

Yes!! I confess I have only loved God at times for what I saw He can do for me. Treating God as a lucky charm, or a genie in a bottle as if he was some idol image of a God who would just give me whatever I want when I asked it of him. Boy has he proven time and time again that honey if what you ask for isn’t of me it will not come for you!

If it is of God it could be delayed as to if I serve or worship Him(his hands) merely to get from him then when I get will I abandon the faith? He knows our heart and the hidden intentions even if we ourself don’t see it or even want to admit it.

I am seeing that God is a good good father and yes withholds no good thing from us. But, if he does withhold or delay it is because we need character growth and stability in our now before any new can come in more of the blessings. Seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness then all these things will be added unto you. God has an established order of thing and its reveal to us in His word.

He will block or cause to die anything that is outside of his will and yes it will hurt. Especially if it is a self work or faction of the flesh.

But its a necessary death to go into greater. God wants me to grow in patience and many other fruits of the Spirit. Taking rest in who He is and His provision. I am growing in my just love for Him as to worship in spirit and truth I must trust his plan and purposes. He knows exaclty where I am, He knows my trials, He knows my needs and He is with me and those facts of his goodness alone are a comfort to a soul that has searched for comfort and security in a world that is perishing over the eternalness of the Father and His kingdom.

Day by day I try lean on the fact He had me more secure than anything of this world could ever to keep me and slowly begin to love him more and more and his goodness begins to flow as a trickle of a stream of water in the beginning phases.

He knows I need to love hin with all my heart, soul, mind and strength for just who He is and that is an amazing Abba Father.

The journey may it just get sweeter day by day as I turn toward truth and His will and way of living.

~Love Life~Live Life~😍

~Cynthia 😉