Life’s Questions

“Why standest thou afar off, O Lord? why hidest thou thyself in times of trouble?”
‭‭Psalm‬ ‭10:1‬ ‭KJV‬‬

There comes a point each year for me that a mode of questioning everything comes around, I have taken note of when learning to pay attention to myself. By this, I mean learning to observe my thoughts and emotions to hopefully gain better control of myself when they want to tale the wheel and drive me in this lifetime. After all, it is called self-control and not others-control.

I have to acknowledge these times and yes know that my thoughts and feelings are valid and then lessen their power by doing so in acknowledging them. This then allows me a doorway to finding out the root of whats going on with me.

For three days now…

I have been in an introspective, intense thinking, re-observation of things that have played out that has well triggered this space of dwelling in my thoughts for too long and not combatting them with truth.

Its funny how I’ve been built where I can revisit situations, conversations, times and places and see it from as if an out of body perspective on the same things my conscious mind may not have initially comprehended at the time when the situation occurred. Course in my pre-mature stage, that allowed me to see things in a twisted way in their revisiting and able to repaint it in a way that appeased my soul.

I’ve had to learn through progression to se things in truth and for what they really where. Did I take something the wrong way when it was said and when I got all offended, was that really have how I should have taken it. Was there any validity in the statement, was their something I needed to see about myself, or was it a projection from an issue from the other person.

These are things that are hard to grow in. Its taken me years and years. Even to this day I still have to do this. But, the time from reaction to fixing it has been progressively getting shorter and shorter. I still have such a long way to go.

I sit back looking and observing things at work, at home, in my interpersonal connections… then not dealing with things properly…

I wonder…have they lied to me

I wonder…do they even really give one care bout me

I wonder…why do they have anything to do with me

I wonder…why they got close to others and not me

I wonder…why wasn’t I chosen

And on, and on, and on

This tailspin happens to the point of where It will cause me to shut down and block out everyone. Yes, this is something that has been on repeat in my life and something I have taken note of that I do.

But why do I do this…

It all boils down to lack of healthy things a child needs when growing up. I lacked validation of my humanity and who I am as a person from a very early age. My parents were hard working individuals and provided everything within their means for us…Yet, I have emotionally lacked.

Now!

It is up to me to fix this and validate myself by enlisting the truth of God’s word on who I am, how much I am loved, how much I am here for a purpose for His kingdom, how much He has His hand upon my very life.

Last year I could have died when I had COVID and yet I am still here for a purpose.

No matter who comes and who goes

No matter who validates you or not

No matter what happens or not

I believe without a shadow of a doubt, that my God is with me til the end…the one and only answer to all of Life’s Questions.

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🌺Cynthia🌺

Seasons Change

“To every thing there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven:”
‭‭Ecclesiastes‬ ‭3:1‬ ‭KJV‬‬

It’s hard to understand sometimes why seasons change, especially when we aren’t the one’s in charge of making the change.

Like last year about this time the global season of being outgoing, carefree, vivacious, and free came to a screeching halt during the time the pandemic of COVID-19 become more impacting to us all.

The season of the pandemic seemed to take us back to yester year when we connected genuinely with one another. A season in which family became more paramount. A season of loss in many ways, such as life, job, finances, and so much more. A time this has been, that I would say probably six months of 2020 really revealed what and who was important in this world. The shops we went to closed cause they were deemed “non-essential” the sporting events deemed “non-essential” what became essential where Parents to be home while their children home schooled from computers. Front line workers of Doctors, nurses, EMTs, truck drivers, teachers, and anyone working in essential business became what was vitally important in the season.

What’s begun to happen since that season came upon us?

The restrictions and limitations have been slowly shedding…

What’s been happening as a result of that?

We’ve not stayed so deeply connected with one another. We are allowing the times to go right back into ruling our schedule. When, I wholeheartedly believe that season of shutdown globally, if people had allowed God into it, they would see that He used that season to show us what was TRULY important. He to me revealed the level of Christian brotherly and sisterly love that could come forth during such isolating times. People genuinely checked on one another, people begun to see their deep need of true community, people could see that being an island to ourself is lonely.

When the world used it to say, ok the shops are open go spend your money. Go out and support local! Which, there is nothing wrong with doing that in a way that it doesn’t consume your entire life. Helping one another yes is a God command, but why soon as restrictions let up we are all ready to head to the shops and hang out on isle 7. Yet, we still refuse to gather in Houses of Prayer due to fear of the virus. How is the virus not on isle 7 and yet its on the third church pew, that is some thinking I will never understand.

Seasons Change and some we have control in making come about, when I changed jobs that was one season change I had a hand in. Yet still even before the verdict of being accepted at the new job, God presented a choice, remain or leave… the choice was mine as we have all been given free-will to choose. I chose to leave the old job, and since I have, my anxiety level has drastically decreased. My level of worries changed. My thought shifted to new things.

Don’t get me wrong sometimes season change and bring wonderful things like new love, a wedding, a child, a promotion, a raise. Seasons changing is part of life whether we have a say or not… it will forever be what we make of the season while we are in it. That lesson alone has taken me a while to grasp in my mindset. I’m slowly getting there!

Thank you for taking the time to read my blog! May it encourage you & give you hope!

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Everyday Is a Winding Road

“Behold, I will do a new thing, Now it shall spring forth; Shall you not know it? I will even make a road in the wilderness And rivers in the desert.” Isaiah‬ ‭43:19‬ ‭NKJV‬‬

2020 has been the most challenging year!

I know that is a huge statement right?! But, truly how many can relate to that one statement. I know for me this year, God had been stripping away from me the doubt that life has instilled in me and to put my full faith and trust in Him!

Boy oh boy has that been difficult! When 2020 decided to throw its many curve balls our way, one thing I feared the most was not working. Job after job after job was being shut down for being non-essential, a hot spot for the virus to spread, or because of the non-essential factor the company had to fold. Being that I work in tele-communication we were deemed vital. The next thing was having to close up cause someone got the virus. Who was that someone…. me!

Now, I am not saying God put Corona Virus on me, however; He can and will use things in our life for our good (Romans 8:28). I allowed my time in isolation to take me down roadways in my soul that I need healing in. Healing from traumatic upbringings, healing from emotionally unavailable parents, healing from not being validated as a child. All these voids need healing by the tender agape love of the father, as it is only Him that can fulfill me in every way.

Isolation also ushered me into a place of faith and trust in Him that I hadn’t ever tapped into. I was out of work for 22 days, which meant no income coming in. I had to pull on faith snd I put it out in the world that if anyone felt lead to help me and some did help me and I was able to pay rent and people brought food so I didn’t have to cook, God showed up and showed out in His love for me through surrendered people toward His heart.

No matter where the paths of life may take us, may they for ever lead us to the father and his unconditional love to heal every soul wound of the past. To lead us toward brighter smoother pathways ahead.

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Cynthia

Continuing Saga – Year 2020

COVID-19 Living

Maybe its just me, but there are days, weeks, and at times months when it has felt like we are in the Bill Murray Movie “Ground Hog Day”. Life perpetually stuck on repeat, same predictable stuff day-in and day-out.

But then something amazing happens that snatches you right out of the cycle and into something new! At the beginning of this month that happened for me. A group of us got together in socially distance manner and had a small party! It was so much fun! It was 60s & 70s theme and we all dressed up. I dressed up like a flower child hippie.

I had the bell bottoms and leather strapped sandals with my vibrant yellow retro top with sunflower headdress. It was fun to my soul to pull out my inner flower child persona. I got all dressed up for the event and ran in starbucks for a coffee before hitting the event, my local baristas erupted into “look at you” or “wow where are you off too” after light talks with the college age baristas i set back out for the days festivities.

Everyone at the event had a blast. We ate to our hearts content. Had party punch to our hearts content. And played game after game til we were all zonked. It was a much needed pace change from the whats become norm of covid living of life.

The festivities re-awakened the fact that I need to get back to what I was doing when lock down first happened. By taking a less stressful approach to daily life. So, one day I took my now only fur-child to the walking path. I needed the down time in nature and my Sweet Pea needed a new adventure since we lost her brother.

I’ve tried to keep in mind the “slow down” mindset to enjoy things, take things in, destress, decompress, shed worry, doubts and fears and just simply live. That is still a daily battle to fight.

Now that fall has begun, I have been brainstorming on how I can keep that slow down mindset as winter approaches. The best I could come up with is taking time to enjoy watching movies. I have found some fantastic deals in the Walmart $5 bin. I recently got a 3 dvd set in there of American Sniper, Sully and Grand Torino. I’m not a fan of the Grand Torino so I haven’t watched it as of yet, but the other two as they are based on real people and real events I highly enjoyed those.

I’ve even located some fabric squares at the Dollar Tree that I am gonna make into small decorative pillows. That will be a good mix up from when i want to slow down, but don’t want to watch movies.

Even recently I visited a sunflower patch. Watch the highlights of it on my youtube channel: Sunflower Field Trip 🌻

Slowing down has even catapult me into planning out what I can ahead of time. I am an admin for my churches page to aide in the ministry helping peoples souls. I post information that I have gleaned from since being there to help newcomers to the ministry. To aide leaderships plow of new ground within souls to be softened, if they take it in, the info that is shared.

I’ve begun adding for posting to my facebook ministry page as well, by posting daily moments of inspiration from the word of God, each week focusing on one area of the faith.

This adopting of a lifestyle of planning certain details gas allotted me more time as I have more time now it seems. So much so that I have begun trying to build my youtube channel with content on my coffee adventures and sharing encouraging words there also from Gods word. So far I post two videos a week. Consider subscribing, I would appreciate it.

Yesterdays: Youtube Video

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~Cynthia~

These are the days…

2020 As it progresses is becoming a year to ponder a new way of living.

With each passing day we never know what is around the corner living during times of a global Corona Virus Pandemic. Will we have a surge in the numbers and the governor order us all to go back into lock down. How close will it get to touching us?

As of my last blog post, I had to make the most gut wrenching decision ever and that was to have my very sick and weak oldest furbaby put down so that he wouldn’t be suffering any more. Having to do that was like the last piece of my mom who passed away in Nov 2016 go. Needless to say I miss my baby boy Midnight.

My baby girl Sweet Pea misses him too. Keeping her my happy girl from being depressed has been my newest undertaking, Longer walks, car rides, and treats make her so happy since she lost her brother. Thats all she known was a life with him. She is slowly adjusting to the changes, but it makes you wonder do they ever fully understand.

2020 will be a year for the record books in my world my vehicle had been in the shop since February. Then loosing s fur-child. A stripping away year it seems. If I dwell to long on it I could sink into a depression so deep that the animals deep in the abyss of the ocean would find me.

Choosing to embrace the changes that have come with this year and holding on to the promises of God keep me from sinking.

“And we know that God causes all things to work together for good to those who love God, to those who are called according to His purpose.”
‭‭Romans‬ ‭8:28‬ ‭NASB‬‬

God has a divine plan and purpose for this year. Since I got my first book published I have been able to get back to blogging this year again on a consistent basis. My latest endeavors are writing in my 2nd book and putting out video content on my youtube channel. Some coffee reviews lately, but my next one I have added on a special edition I may expand on later, for now its and ease into the platform and enjoying something I love, which is coffee.

In all this year of 2020 it will cause you to re-evaluate so much of life. How income is earned, how interpersonal relationships can grow in limited confinds especially when social distancing is in play, How to grow in gifts, talents, abilities, calls of God, ministry assignments and more, when you have to find development ways outside of the traditional ways of education, workshops and training. Life is a training ground when it is allowed and the devices we hold in our hands daily are key access points to a world of development when used resourcefully.

Don’t miss out on the opportunity to change something about yourself during these times! It may be beneficial down the road. One change can be the catalyst for a major breakthrough!

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Cynthia 🌺

Tested for Covid

This stuff is every where and even working in a small rural community it is making its presence known.

In the last few weeks in the small community where I work and formally resided businesses have begun to close up for safety precautions when employees of said businesses tested positive for COVID-19 aka Corona Virus.

Two restaurants closed up, the town hall, and another communications place began remote working when employees tested positive for Corona. Its even been made aware to me that a substitute delivery driver who was on our route for two weeks that their mother died from this horrific virus. To make it worse that person lives next door to their parents and you know visiting sick parents is a given. Needless to say all this going on I fell down the rabbit hole of worse case scenarios. With all this goin on the local health department ran a testing drive on Monday. August 17th.

The testing was free. All you had to do was drive up, fill out a few forms, then they tested you. To be honest I’ve had my conspiracy theories about all this Corona testing like how people got tested, then turns out they had it and all the randomness of this thing. I watched the nurse put on new gloves, new gown, new mask, my new tube from which my sample will go into, as well as, the new plastic tester brush as she approached my vehicle window. She had me verify my info then she opened the plastic brush and took the same from inside one nostril. For about 3 hours it felt as though that brush was still up my nose, if anything she cleaned out the whole cavity!

Afterward she told me I would get a call within 24 to 36 hours with my result. That is the wrong thing to tell someone that thinks as much as I do.

Tuesday came and everytime my cellphone rang my heart would sink thinking ok here your results. But, none of the calls I got that day were from the health department. Wednesday came and still no call I was beginning to get worried. By Thursday I was so on edge, but I had stepped away from my phone and missed a call. I called it back and it was the health department with my results.

She proceeded to say: “We are calling you with your results of your COVID-19 testing you had done at the health department testing drive” I said “yes ma’am ok”. She said, “your results came back Covid NEGATIVE”

I have never been so relieved in my life yo hear that phrase! But, do many that it has hit my heart and deepest healing prayers go out to each and everyone. It has been ravaging families with the deadliest impact in some cases. I pray this epidemic ends soon its doing a toll on people emotional, mental, physical and financial state.

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~Cynthia 🌺

Life During Corona Virus

Covid-19 – Year 2020 – Photo Collection

My blogs have become a way to chronicle my navigating life during this corona virus global pandemic and how it has impacted me and my state of living.

Many are the days when Saturdays come when I am in my room, enjoying a cup of coffee before I begin my day. Mentally navigating the day, what needs to be done inside my place, what needs to be done outside my place, and what new restrictions are in place. The governor of my state which is North Carolina since my blogs reach globally, has decided to keep our state at Phase 2 of the reopening while mandating face-masks in all public forums, maintaining social distancing and making sure we sanitize and clean our hands to prevent the spread and spike in the number of cases.

Sadly, this mandate sucks! But, it is needful to get the numbers down of the active cases of covid and to keep the state somewhat running. So many are still out of jobs due to many restrictions still being implemented. Also, many are rebelling against many of the mandates from the governor, the most controversial is the wearing of face-masks. Many out right proclaim and display their rebellion by not following it in word and deed. If people would obey, then maybe things would get accomplished more timely.

In recent weeks, a group of Doctors made a video before the Supreme Court and it was posted online and it went viral. Perhaps many reading this got to see the video before it got taken down from all social media platforms. This alone was a red flag for me. I’m not sure how others took it, but its as if the powers that be are procuring the hiding of the truth for selfish gain. These doctors stood publically and stated their findings on the use of three existing medications to combat and perhaps one day exterminate this Covid-19. The powers that be are pushing for a new vaccine that if they patent would make millions if not billions off the lives of the sick they took an oath to help heal. If I state the three meds this blog is sure to be taken down. So i will only mention two as they are a mineral Zinc and a Z-pack the other more controversial med I will leave out but abbreviate as HCQN.

In more recent events of the day last week was a monumental one! It began with goin through the already existing stuff in the world, but to add to it a hurricane for the eastern part of NC on which I reside. To the western part of the state being impacted by a 5.1 Level Earthquake, the first in many many years of that magnitude.

With all this going on, I will sink and wonder where are the good moments? 2020 has been a year that took my vehicle away in a way. Going and doing things has been cut off. And with this weeks events alone I could settle into a depression beyond anyones wildest imaginations if I allow myself to.

Constantly working to stay head above water is a constant renewing. Plugging the word of God into my mind over and over. Today my favorite verses of life kept coming to me. They are Psalm 91:1-4 which you will see below:

He that dwelleth in the secret place of the most High shall abide under the shadow of the Almighty. I will say of the Lord, He is my refuge and my fortress: my God; in him will I trust. Surely he shall deliver thee from the snare of the fowler, and from the noisome pestilence. He shall cover thee with his feathers, and under his wings shalt thou trust: his truth shall be thy shield and buckler.
‭‭Psalms‬ ‭91:1-4 KJV

After pulling from these verses I was reminded of the good. Like going recently to one of the Sunday School Kids I work withs 2nd birthday. I gave him his first kiddie bible and it had a handle and colorful pictures in it. He toted it around Sunday showing off the pictures inside. That was a joy to my soul to see the 2 yr old embrace the word so innocently. Not to mention how popping his party was with the food and all. His aunt put a hurting on that cake and Cousin put a hurting down on that chip dip that we partook of during the festivities.

After the party I stopped at the Wal-Mart and browsed around. I stumbled across the $5 movie bin. I rarely find anything in those things that even appeal to be viewed. But, this time I stumbled upon two great finds. I love watching war movies, movies based on actual events, faith-based movies and the occasional Romantic-Comedy. I was able to enjoy a few nights watching movies and relaxing. Something of which I rarely do, but I gave in and allowed the down time.

Reorganizing my life and prioritizing things and doing the actual planning and doing of things opened up my life to be able to take time to enjoy those movies. In doing this restructuring to my life, I went to one of my favorite store to see what they had I could use to get organized with.

Needless to say I left with a new notebook, a new bible to use specifically for my youth teaching material, and a book to read. The notebook has been so helpful in maintaining my kingdom work in an area where I admin and on my own personal page that I post these blogs too. Did I need another book to add to my shelf? No! But guess what, it spoke to me! So, I got it and will have it in my spare time to read.

One day in my silliness I was scrolling through my social media platforms and ran across the most hilarious post I’d seen that really struck my funny bone. This happened to be on a bad day that I needed a good laugh to break up the monotony of life. I ended up sharing the image to a group that I am in asking a friend of mine if we could do this at their house. It went over with a barrel of laughs that who knows we all may have needed that day. I will share the image below so it can bring some laughter to your world as it did mine!

Thank you all so much for taking time to read my blog! Taking time to view my photo collections I share in my writings! May we all be safe from this corona virus and keep living life as best we can.

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~Cynthia

Faith – During a Global Pandemic

It will see you through! Especially times like we live in now!

“Now faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen.”
‭‭Hebrews‬ ‭11:1‬ ‭KJV‬‬

Many times the doom, disparity, gloom, and darkness of the times we live in want to come in and take up space or even residency if allowed for too long.

Its up to ourself to fight the good fight of faith! Its a choice to choose hope, its a choice to choose joy, its a choice to keep the faith!

I recall being told numerous times from those further down the spiritual path then I to, take time to reflect on all the good God has done, look at all the answered prayers and allow that to build your faith, becoming the substance that is needed to see what is hoped for manifest!

“be not conformed to this world: but be ye transformed by the renewing of your mind, that ye may prove what is that good, and acceptable, and perfect, will of God.”
‭‭Romans‬ ‭12:2‬ ‭KJV‬‬

Every time the darkness wants to come like a blanket of false comfort, I have to be aware to fight to renew my mind. Thats where we win or loose it all begins in the mind. I have to take up my sword of the Word of God and pull from Gods strength.

“for my strength is made perfect in weakness.”
‭‭2 Corinthians‬ ‭12:9‬ ‭KJV‬‬

I have a proclivity to not deal with things timely at times. The slip by and build and build and build until one day I am so over taken by it all, that I either crash or explode. Neither one when they happen are pretty. In the last few months I have been working on dealing with things before they get out of hand. Learning to pay attention to what I am thinking so I can take the wrong thoughts captive and sort them out sooner.

“for the weapons of our warfare are not of the flesh, but divinely powerful for the destruction of fortresses. We are destroying speculations and every lofty thing raised up against the knowledge of God, and we are taking every thought captive to the obedience of Christ,”
‭‭2 Corinthians‬ ‭10:4-5‬ ‭NASB‬‬

Its up to me and only me to deal with my thoughts. For what I think on so I become. This is by far easier said then done. It is a job to watch your mind. But, if that is the way to continue to keep changing, then I must be committed to the work to see it through. For faith without works is dead, just as work without faith is dead. Both of those have to been alive on the scene.

For as he thinks within himself, so he is. He says to you, “Eat and drink!” But his heart is not with you.”
‭‭Proverbs‬ ‭23:7‬ ‭NASB‬‬

Thank you for taking the time to read my blog! I hope that it encourages you and inspires you to keep the faith, do what you can to change, and continue to seek God! This blog has derived teachings I have received under the Pastoralship of Juanita Gibbs.

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🌺Cynthia🌺

Mid-May Pandemic Update

Phase One Reopen – Life Will Not Be The Same

These have been some of the best times and they have been some of the most stressful! Quarantine has brought most to a place of slowing down. It has for me too, with stores not being open and limitations on where you can and can’t go has made me sit down and do other things or venture out to find something new and different to partake in.

As of Friday, May 8th in the state in which I reside, the governor allowed for the stay at home order to be lifted to phase one reopen. Needless to say the weekend was mayhem. With Mothers Day on Sunday and some retail stores allowed to open at 50% capacity. Lines were long and they weren’t practicing social distancing and I do believe I have heard there has been a spike in the numbers since Phase One began.

On Friday when I got off work, I took a moment to stop and unwind a little in a secret Garden. Very quiet little spot to just be. It was very relaxing the time I did spend there. It made me too realize that If I don’t slow down from the stresses of life and work that life will inevitably will pass me by.

There are times I believe the Corona Virus Pandemic has brought a reset to the lives of many. Other times, I feel like we are one order away from Martial Law.

I have so enjoyed finding new spots to go for walks, the most recent one I found, others found too, so I haven’t gone back to that one in a while. I have though frequented the Town Common, they have large open spaces where people picnic and walk the boardwalk, fish, play with frisbee with friends or their pets.

Truthfully, it is so serene on the water and the nostalgia of having a picnic there one day are things memories are made from. Being that I am an ambivert, these times of seclusion to help me collect myself from the stress of work are prescriptions for the soul.

Recently, I went home to check on things. I can out of the house and at the back of the vehicle stood the huge majestic Doe. I was in awe at the power that radiated from her. I walked down to get my phone and captured her as she went on about her life. As, I watched her cross the greenway, I heard a scripture in my spirit.

“As the deer pants for the water brooks, So my soul pants for You, O God. My soul thirsts for God, for the living God; When shall I come and appear before God?”
‭‭Psalms‬ ‭42:1-2‬ ‭NASB‬‬

She reminded me that I need to make sure that I am close to the living water. I need to be planted there so that I can weather storms, flourish in season and out of season, bearing fruit at all times, of which; requires a constant connection to the living Word of God.

During these dark and unsure times it takes being anchored into something stable like the word of God to make it through each day. I don’t always come out stellar in some days, but I am learning a lot about myself, working on me to handle things better, changing and being aware of my triggers is a full time job to live a life reflective of God. I fail, fall down, struggle to get up, look at the dust to learn, brush it off and try again the next day.

Life is so uncertain now we have to make the best of what we have been given. This weekend news came that someone near where I work may have contract Corona Virus, I even recognized them as coming in to our place to pay on a bill. I fell down the rabbit hole of uncertainty so quick I sank like an anvil in quicksand.

I immediately thought and calculated the date of when I would be sick based on statistics, I even went as far as wondering did we contaminate an entire town, did I contaminate my Pastors when I visited them, my aging father, my boss, my coworker then who did all they interact with… I was so thankful to hear that the person didn’t have it. But the fear that has been instilled throughout all this really hit my front door fast. Thankfully that isn’t the case, that I am well and not infected by Corona Virus.

Thank you all for reading and supporting my blog! Comment below how this pandemic has touched your life!🌺

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🌺Cynthia 🌺

Growth During A Pandemic

Self-Development While In the Fire

I shared this image last week and I had to think about it. Had I really been doing nothing? Or were things changing in me?

I took this week to evaluate me and look at things I need to change about myself that have that come to the surface during the trials of life, especially during the hard reality times we live in now of a COVID-19 world. The fire of life, circumstances and mental and emotional rises, brought up a-lot with in me I must begin tackling.

Its going to be a journey of change, but I need to change what has been shown to me about myself.

“And why beholdest thou the mote that is in thy brother’s eye, but considerest not the beam that is in thine own eye? Or how wilt thou say to thy brother, Let me pull out the mote out of thine eye; and, behold, a beam is in thine own eye? Thou hypocrite, first cast out the beam out of thine own eye; and then shalt thou see clearly to cast out the mote out of thy brother’s eye.”
‭‭Matthew‬ ‭7:3-5‬ ‭KJV‬‬

I have been one to sit back and judge others when I myself have a huge timber in my own eye of how I am in my character and to be integral I need to sit down and deal with myself.

So much of life has happened around me that I sit and look that God has been using the pressure to get growth out of me.

Has it been easy?

No!

Its been pure hell if I am to be blatantly honest. Knowing that your first nature wants to rise up, fight back, and oh believe me it has. To only realize on the other side of it, revealed wounds, wrong ways of thinking, wrong perceptions of which formed my misjudgment of a great many things.

I ultimately have a choice to make. Do I remain on the old path with my old ways and keep having dead-end/one sided relationships or do I choose the new road to a new way of conducting life in various trying circumstances in the changed manner that could nurture and grow relationships.

I choose the new path!

“I call heaven and earth to record this day against you, that I have set before you life and death, blessing and cursing: therefore choose life, that both thou and thy seed may live:”
‭‭Deuteronomy‬ ‭30:19‬ ‭KJV‬‬

Choosing this new road the beginning won’t be easy. But the long run of it all will be well worth it. The Word of God proclaims the ending of a thing is way better then its beginning. (Ecc 7:8)

The ending will produce the desired fruit of rightful living, being subject to truth of the word and walking there in. Faith without my work is dead. Just as work without faith is dead. Being the doer of the word is what is changing within me. Not being driven by my flesh in the emotion it feels and the logic that my mind can twist together.

God wants me to prosper in my soul firstly, heal some wounds of the soul, reshape how I process things from a new way that is contrary to how I was raised and brought up. The blooms of a new life are what I so hope to see as I endeavor to make these shifts from being combative, viewing through wounds of rejection and embrace the reality of who I am, confess it and grow from it.

So, today I choose to do SOMETHING! That will benefit changing the trajectory of my life!

Cooked a nice dinner!
Stopped to smell some roses

Visit my teespring store to shop my selections: sample pillow below

Visit Amazon to shop my book: Beauty From Ashes

🌺Stay Safe & Be Blessed🌺

As always, thank you for supporting my blog! I will get back next week to how the COVID-19 has impacted my life!

🌺 Cynthia 🌺