Unbelief โžกโžกFaith


I am going to be honest before coming to where I am now attending church I was very much a person that was full of unbelief.

My faith wasn’t strong enough to manifest any goodness or withstand storms. I would put on a brave face and pretend to be of faith while in the inside secretly living in disbelief.

Why was this you ask?


I can say I did have a belief in my salvation. That Jesus died for my sins and rose again to be seated at the right hand of the father.

What I had trouble with and still some but as I work on it, it becomes smaller and smaller is the fact that Jesus wants to bless me. That He loves me just for who I am and yet encourages me to change into His image and likeness.

I grew up with low self-esteem and low self-worth to the point that bad verbally abusive statements felt more like love then tender, genuine heartfelt words ever did. This has taken much time to work through and will continue to be part of my journey. These things poison my soul and clouded my lenses to view faith.

Therefore, brethren, be all the more diligent to make certain about His calling and choosing you; for as long as you practice these things, you will never stumble; 2 Peter 1:10 NASB

What has had to happen is that to move from unbelief to faith on any level the poison in my soul (mind,will amd emotions) has had to be addresses. This has helped me see that verbally abusive words are not healthy, but they aided in clouding my judgement.

To wipe the slate clean ao to speak I have had to be diligent on pulling on the Love of God. Thanking Him daily for what He has done to grow in trusting Him and His faithfulness.

I am slowly transitioning from unbelief to having more a faith life through the transformation that has been taking place in my life through God using Reformation Developmental Center so powefully in my life.

It is by the councel and love given to me that I am able to grow in faith and shed the old and progress toward living the life God predestined for me. But, it still takes my diligent efforts to do the work to change for faith without works is dead. I have to do my part to enable God to have room to do His part.

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~Cynthia ๐Ÿ˜

Faith Stands

Take your stance and be unwaivering in it!

Its hard to stand in the beginning and also during difficult times. I have buckled under pressure so many times because my faith in God wasn’t strong enough.

What was overly strong was my faith in my self and what I could do, what I could accomplish, basically and very strong self-will and self-reliant person.

Course alot of that came from my upbringing and it aided later on not being able to surrender and trust God in hard times.

I had to become determined to get more about the life of faith. That can and does take time in developing as it will be a life long journey. New trials or situations that I have yet to encounter will cause me to have to find new ways to remain firm.

because now we really live [in spite of everything], if you stand firm in the Lord.

But, because of the faithfulness of God and who He is, I can pull from that in spite of all things. This will continually help me shed the self-reliant and strong self-will mindset and allow trust in God to be on the scene.

This is the only way to be able to stand firm in the Lord. Yes I am still learning how to do this as faith life is like when your born you have to learn and grow into things as you progress and that the journey I have been on and will be on.

As a believer I will never be exempt from facing hardships. The difference is that I have hope and a source to pull on in those times. But it is only going to come from a consistent and daily relationship build with God through His son Jesus and listening to the Holy Spirit.

May we all grow into the place that inspite of it all we stand firm in the Lord!

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~Cynthia ๐Ÿ˜

Heart of Faith ๐Ÿ’•๐ŸŒฑ

What is planted on the inside is what grows!

At the heart of who we are as people, those core things that we are and walk in daily are seeds we spread in our every day life to ourself and to the environment around us.

To spread good we have to alter that which we are at the core of us. For me that has been removing what I can of negativity, doubt, fear, worry, anxiety, depression.

It will be a life long journey to do so, but I have been able with the coaching of my Pastor Juanita Gibbs been able to tackle a layer of it. Which I am eternally greatful for.

Without her love, guidance, acceptance and leadership in my life I am not sure where I would be. I know for sure without her I wouldn’t be blogging. These are my ways to spread good seeds out into the world.

I will establish your seed forever And build up your throne to all generations.” Selah.
Psalms 89:4 NASB

I want to continue to change me at the heart of me to carry good seeds of faith into the world. I want it to be prevalent in my relationships, in my writings and those I may only encounter breifly.

What I carry of faith inside of me will manifest around me, just as the negativity has manifest just in the opposite way. To continue to change I must make sure I am in continual submission to His word and this too will take work and be a life long journey.

But in time the consistent work of the beginning will become my first nature, over time, as in the beginning it is hard work and a 2nd nature initially as I had leaned too much on the old pattern/way of being.

We are seed carriers it is up to us to grow good seed to share that good seed around us. Just as any fruit bears seed if it came from a not so good string it may not last long, but if the fruit is nurtured and cared for and has a good start then it can produce mass goodness and be a long lasting seed bearing fruit.

That is what we are to be an everlasting/evergreen tree bearing fruit in season and out of season. That thus bores more fruit as the seeds inside fall to new ground and grow.

A heart and core center of good faith seeds can change your life and generations.

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~Cynthia ๐Ÿ˜

Faith Grows Pt 1

Water the seeds that were planted!

The seed of faith as that measure planted within us is everlasting faith. It is us that has to choose to use it or let is sit there undeveloped.

His word proclaims there is one faith! This means that His word is the central component of that one faith. He has a set up establishment in which that one faith is built in each individual.

He has given us the five fold ministry for a purpose. It is for the building up and encouraging of the saints and to also win soul into the kingdom.

And he gave some, apostles; and some, prophets; and some, evangelists; and some, pastors and teachers;
Ephesians 4:11 KJV

These chosen vessels are surrendered and yielded to the Lord to be the earthen mouth piece for His glory. God works by His spirit and he needs a vessel in the earth to do that work and that is those of the five fold and other elect vessels.

I am so thankful for the leaders God has placed in my life, for it is by them that I have been able to grow in areas. This has helped me to get to a place of getting established in my faith better than I have been in the past.

Abraham planted a tamarisk tree at Beersheba, and there he called on the name of the Lord , the Everlasting God.
Genesis 21:33 NASB

To grow better I have to be submitted to the leadership before me. I have to do the work and be in the word consistently and pray and worship and all that is involved with building my relationship with God.

This is the only way my faith can and will grow is becoming a doer of the word that my Pastor Juanita Gibbs encourages us to be. This exercises the faith measure. Even though I may fail I have to learn from the mistake and press on to grow.

The greatest way to have faith or any fruit grow in our life is under pressure as they reveal weaknesses where God needs to come into those places to be strong for us.

Its up to us individually to cause our faith to grow or not to grow the choice is ultimatley ours in the long run!

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~Cynthia ๐Ÿ˜

By Faith

It was by faith…

For so long the enemy and the contents of my soul allowed whispers of deception to permeate my faith and dilute it to almost nothing of effect.

I would hear whispers that my prayers were not heard. Who are you to be praying for such things. Your not who you think you are just sit down and accept what you have now as nothing will change for you.

It took time and is taking time for me to find my place in God. I am a Woman of God. I was predestined to be a child of God. I am a woman of worth that carries value and can bring blessings into the lives of those that God chooses to place around me. I am an encourager. I am going to be an author. I am a blogger. I am a daughter!

This has taken me years to get to and I am now taking root in those things to become steadfast in my position in the Lord. I want to be effectual in the faith and help woman become secure in who they are. But, I must be the first partaker in the endeavor, for how can I help another if I myself have not walked through the struggle.

It is also in time that my book will come about, to share more of my story and show why its been a journey to become what God wants me to be secure in.

I am thankful for the ministry that I am in with Pastor Juanita Gibbs that she has endeavored to go along with me on this journey to overcome insecurity and pray me through to establish me in who I am in God. She has been able to relate to me in the entire journey and still that I have been on and that I am on.

By faith the walls of Jericho fell down after they had been encircled for seven days.
Hebrews 11:30 NASB

It is by her praying for me and me delving into that personal relationship with God that has by faith been taking down the walls in my soul to be set free and allow his love to infiltrate my being, bringing healing and deliverance in stages, phases and degrees.

She told me once long ago that His banner over me is love and when the enemy of my soul now tries his old tricks I pull out the love that He has begun to fill me with and recount His goodness, to remain thankful and not allow my logic or emotions run away from me.

Am I perfect in it? No!

Pastor told me it is also a process of learning, failing and trying again that will help me to continue to learn and grow as the journey goes on through out life.

By faith the walls will come down! I must keep marching in faith and full assurance God is with me and will not fail me and to teach me patience that in time my faith will produce a harvest but in the gap faith produces character in me.

~Cynthia ๐Ÿ˜

Faith builds Trust

Faith and trust work hand in hand!

The more I study faith the more I am learning that I can and should trust in the Lord.

I have been one that is very impatient. A baby in the faith thinking that as soon as I prayed God would show up with the answer in a split second.

Now, I am not taking away that He can do that as He has proven that time and time again through His word and by peoples testimonies of Gods power in their life.

What I am talking about is the Faith to build trust when the answer is delayed. In His word He proclaims I will send my word out to accomplish what it will and it shall not return void. God will speak a thing and its send to accomplish what it will.

It could be to build us in Godly character, get us more established in the faith, learning that He has everythinf under control as long as we rely solely upon Him.

He lets us choose to rely on Him or be self-reliant. To be honest, I have been self-reliant in things as I felt God was moving to slow. When my works died and I had no other choice but to rely on God is when God did great things in my life.

By Him doing great things for me that should have built my trust in God and in the power of His might?

To be honest it didn’t back then!

You know the old song: Count your blessings, name them one-by-by. Count your many blessings to see what God has done!

I was so blinded in looking for the big flashy blessings like everyone else got that they were showing off on social media. Missing entirely all the good God had done for me cause it didn’t look like the worlds blessings.

My Pastor Juanita Gibbs in a counceling session kept it very real with me, and to be honest I needed real as I can dwell in a place of non-reality. Said “you don’t see what God has done for you?” In my very snarky non reality way I said “Nope, what good things has God done for me.”

She then got more real with me and opened mh eyes to the blessings of the Lord and the things He has done. She helped take me from an ungreatful place to a place of gratitude.

And that alone along with the teachings where I am that she and Bishop bring forth have helped fuel my trust in the Lord and heal my trust issues.

And blessed is she who believed that there would be a fulfillment of what had been spoken to her by the Lord.” Luke 1:45 NASB

It is for this reason that no matter of God answers swiftly or the answe is delayed that my faith has needed to help build my trust in the Lord.

Faith joining hands with trusting in the Lord has increased my depandance upon Him.

Photo I took yesterday in my home town in NC. Love how its two things (clouds) coming together like faith and trust in the spirit.

~Cynthia ๐Ÿ˜

Faith must grow! ๐ŸŒฑ

Exercising our measure of faith aides in its growth!

How can my faith grow to be a firm tree planted by the waters if I don’t stretch forth to grow in using it.

Pressure from things around me come to cause me to dig into my faith, sending my roots down deeper to find the next level of stream of living water to draw from.

As my roots go down deeper and deeper in search of the quenching of the thirst to remain stable and anchored in the soil of faith.

Once it reaches the place to draw it draws until the sources run low and go down deeper again.

This is our faith going from faith to faith, glory to glory, etc in seach of the depths of transformative power in Christ.

But often times when I have been at one level of faith and the sources begin to run low that should cause me to go deeper, I look at my surroundings and take it as abandonment by God. When He hasnt left me, he wants me to chase him deeper.

When I look at whats going on around me I de-power what God can and is capable of doing by operating from my self-will, my own strength and in my timing.

Peter said to Him, “Lord, if it is You, command me to come to You on the water.” And He said, “Come!” And Peter got out of the boat, and walked on the water and came toward Jesus. But seeing the wind, he became frightened, and beginning to sink, he cried out, “Lord, save me!” Immediately Jesus stretched out His hand and took hold of him, and said to him, “You of little faith, why did you doubt?” When they got into the boat, the wind stopped. And those who were in the boat worshiped Him, saying, “You are certainly God’s Son!”
Matthew 14:28โ€ญ-โ€ฌ33 NASB

In our situations it is important to become aware when we take our eyes off of God and begin to look at the things around us, for doing so causes us to sink and be little in our faith.

Through the difficult times we must keep eyes on God to grow our faith and become more firmly rooted in Him.

~Cynthia ๐Ÿ˜


I have another think coming!

How fitting is it that the first chapter of the book I am going through with my Sunday School children, as well as, the teaching I am exposed to by my way of my Pastor Juanita Gibbs has inspired this post today.

Your thoughts create your reality! For what you think and meditate on will flow from the abundance of your heart and out of your mouth. Thus, creating the reality in which you live in currently. Life and death is the power of your tongue! But, it all begins with watching your thoughts for they are seeds in the Garden of your soul. -Juanita Gibbs

If I am not careful with watching and guarding my thoughts I can make myself believe with no effort that everyone is against me and that I am strange, wierd, unacceptable, and an outcast due to the contents of my soul.

What has to happen as it has been spoken that I need a deeply rooted and firm trust in God! Humanity will fail us, but God never will.

There are time I will recap in my mind every detail of something a converstation that happened, an argument, and encounter at work, something that happened at a store. Going back over what I did, how I was, what I said.

Did I offend?

Did they offend?

Was I too exuberant about something?

Was I not exuberant enough?

Did I express care and love?

Did they to me and I didn’t reciprocate?

All these things have consumed my mind for so long they just happen on their own.

I have had to come to a place of when they begin to stop them. But how do I stop them? First I have had to become aware when they happen! Am I perfect in it? No! Never will be as its a daily management of self that must take place!

Then I have to trust God that maybe the way I took in what was done or said was not meant in the way I took it in. Acknowledging my wounds within and not letting them have the power to continue to run my life as they have for so long.

Once this happens, I must take every ounce of care to the Lord. As pastor says that in the amplified of 1 Peter 5:7 we are instructed to cast the whole of our care on God.

I must let go of the care that came on me and sometimes heavily to the one who can take care of them for in my weakness He is made strong within me.

The journey of learning to capture my thoughts (2 Corinthians 10:4-5) has not been an easy one, but its worth the work to put in and begin to see my life and reality change slowly over time.

~Love Life~Live Life~๐Ÿ˜

~Cynthia ๐Ÿ˜‰

Keep Walkin!

But I’m weak and tired to keep going, its easy just to give up!

That has been my way of life for years honestly. I would fight, fight and fight to no end for things that appear to come easy for some.

The judgmental mindset that I have when someone attained something before me that I wanted became my reason to give up.

How crazy is that right!

Those who obtained things before me I don’t know what kind of pain, pressure, growth they had to endure before their blessing came.

It got to a point when I first came to the church I am apart of now that I had to choose to not judge and choose to be happy for the person. The bible says rejoice with those who rejoice and mourn with those who mourn.

Instead of rejoicing with them who rejoiced I mourned when others rejoiced. So very backwards and not of the word of God!

In the time of choosing to rejoice and genuinely being happy for people on their time its lifted a mindset of “what about me God?” Its still within me I admit but I have to manage that when it comes on me.

My Pastor Juanita Gibbs has so lovingly instilled tools within her teachings to help me manage myself. I just have to pick up the tools and implement their usage in my life.

As I have used her tools its become an easier fight of faith to keep going. But, I still have to manage the “give up” mindset that I have. Because if I go unaware of its flair up I could stop walking in faith and become much like some of the world.

Faith in God is to have a balanced and stable life in Him and through Him. It takes time and consistent effort to connect with God, know His heart, know His love, and know His plan.

Do I know all this thing from God?


But it is my daily effort to connect and commune with Him that He can speak, lead, guide and direct my life as long as I remain humbly submissibe to his direction. This is the only way I can continue to walk and do Gods will for my life.

By faith the people of Jericho marched when they didn’t know how the wall would fall. They had faith that they were told to do this by God and humbly followed His command and what happened? They saw the wall fall by there obedient faith!

I have to trust Gods leading just like them and keep walking when I don’t know how the wall will come down! If I stop then thats not faith, but if I keep going thats faith and displaying my reliance on God to do what only He can do!

~Love Life~Live Life~ ๐Ÿ˜

~Cynthia ๐Ÿ˜‰

๐Ÿ‘ฎCaught in the act!๐Ÿ‘ฎ

Now I am under arrest!

Being detained in a holding cell with no where to go but the confinds of the small space!

Just kidding!

But it can be that same feeling in our minds by thinking, how we handle things, how much of our emotions dictate our moves. Those things can make us feel boxed in, with no where to go and no way to grow until someone comes to bail you out!

My bailbondsman came in the form of my Pastor. She has come with price paid in Jesus finished work of the cross, she is highly anointed to do His work to mature believers and break the barriers on thier life!

My life is beginning to show forth the signs of that very call upon her life! I am so greatful. As long as I implement the tools she shares, apply wisdom of the word to align myself with truth, the more my life will show forth Hos glory as it has begun.

My Pastor has showed me tools to use to become self aware. I am empowered and graced by God to grow in my mind. Say when I feel anxiety begin to creep in, as it usually likes to try to.

I have to be aware of it and when it comes I have to arrest anxiety. I have to detain it (2 Corinthians 10:5), find out why it began to creep in or the root cause, and put it in a holding sell (1 Peter 5:7).

The way to come out of it is by change and change comes in the mind deciding not to fall into the temptation to need to be arreseted in mind. (Romans 12:2 & Eph 4:23)

By not changing my ways of thinking and allowing my mind or my emotions to run me they cause in ways an arrested development to life.

They had kept me from growing and maturing properly in line with truth. As layer by layer gets exposed that needs to mature and grow in ways that line up with how God says to live they become unlocked from the bondage of immaturity and lack of development.

Is it easy?


Just as in the world when a felon is released its not easy for them to not relapse and find themself in the same trouble all over again.

So, yes I fail and sometimes fail royally as it could mess things up with people or my gifts, call, talent and abilities the longer I let them run wild over arresting them and grow out of them ruling me.

I want to continue to progress to living the life God has promised us. One of peace, hope, love, etc. But, I have to do the work. God graced me with the power to do it. He won’t change us in our mind, we have to change us in mind.