Recent COVID Scare

Its been about two weeks now…

It all began the same way, stuffy nose, slight congestion due to drainageand the normal feeling awful that comes with not being well.

Lived with that for a day, thought nothing of it at that point as the weather had drastically changed at that point. However, the next day that night in between at some point my controlled tinnitus I’ve had since my first round of COVID in Oct 2020 had turned wide open again. First red flag. So, I knew I had taken a specific allergy med that helped keep the volume of that down and attributed the issues I was having to seasonal allergies. By the end of that day, I felt even more awful.

Got off work and headed home, by this point I was feeling like I was gonna fall apart, fatigue was setting in, red flag #2. So, I decided to stop to the pharmacy across from my house to get a cold med as it was at that point teetering between being an allergy cold and a seasonal cold. Went in the store masked up nowadays, if you even have a hint of suspicion of COVID folks are ready to string you up. Ran in, got the liquid cold med and got home, to want to check to see if I had a fever before I started taking the meds. Of course at that moment I did have a fever of 99.9, totally not a good thing and Red flag #3.

Later that night I began to have chills all over as I was sleeping and the bouts of fever and no fever again. Red flag #4. At this point it was a Friday night going into Saturday and with already having these issues I was like I need to go and get a COVID test. Saturday came, I finally mustered up enough strength to get dressed and drive around to the testing facility, to only roll up and find them closed because of the college town I reside in had a game goin on that day. The sign said they would reopen on Sunday at 1pm.

Sunday finally came around after Saturdays exhaustion of going out trying to get tested then hunting for the at home COVID tests of which this whole big town was out of. By this time I had found out I had lost my ability to smell and taste some items. Red flag #5. Also, through the night I had had a whole body spasm in which it didn’t release til 3 hours later. I was in so much pain.

I Left my home at 10 min til 1pm to only find the place packed out at the testing facility. An hour later after I had gotten there they shut down accepting anyone else into the site. It took me 2 hours and 15 min to be processed all the way through from entry to test that day. When I filled out my paperwork I had actively 6 symptoms of COVID two of which I’ve battled for nearly a year now.

It was finally my turn to get closer to being tested as I was under the first carport. They took my ID and clipboard and went to have my testing kit for me prepared for the next carport. One of the worker ladies in the first carport told me that by 1pm there was well over 200 in the parking lot setup to get tested. Then to only tell me that the day prior, one of their machines that processes our test went down. So, its Sunday and well over 200 tests, it would not be the 24hr turn around as it was for me last year. I did the math and this test was my 6th COVID test within a year.

Finally got to the last carport and the young man doing my test we got talking and he too had not long recovered from having COVID in May 2021. We both experience some of the same post COVID related issues.

Now that I had been tested and even Saturday (the day before) I had been working hard on isolation and keeping germs contained and clean and so many more precautions. Going into Monday knowing I need to work and that my test results could go either way. I kept to myself I sanitized my desk at every nose blow or cough to keep things contained and isolated. Monday came and no results. That night I knew I needed to figure out how to access my mychart for test results from the hospital system I tested through.

I finally got into my mychart to see further no results posted. I had to pray my answer would come Tuesday. Woke up Tuesday morning at usual of 6am to find my email had a notification in it that a result had been posted to mychart. I slid that screen notification across to get in there to see finally what my fate would be. In my mind I was positive with this monster called COVID again.

To open my results to only see that I had tested:

Negative

Completely baffled and in praise to God that I tested negative. This whole ordeal triggered everything that I’ve had going on in my body since battling COVID in the first place and folks wonder why Im not for the vaccine. This is why! Im still battling its effects just having contracted the actual virus!

But thats a whole other post for another day!

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September 11, 2021

A look back over the last twenty years…

Today marks 20 years ago since that fateful day where our lives changed for many years in days, weeks, months, and years that follow the tragic attack on the twin towers and the Pentagon, and the hero’s that took down flight 93 from doing more harm.

In wake of the first attack on America soil in decades. This one major life event truly impacted the globe, as many Americans and internationals were part of the events of that fateful day.

I recall in the days, months and year ahead of the day known as Patriots day, everywhere and everyone considered themselves to be New Yorkers. The level of patriotism was at an all time high we were united under one front of banning together to stand strong, when we had been knocked to our knees in a devastating way.

For the first time, in what felt like a lifetime had passed that everyone seemed to suddenly care about their neighbor so to speak. The country had pulled together so tightly, that I don’t recall til many years had passed that devision had begun to make its way back in on a strong marginalized scale.

Now today, twenty years later there is devision based on the color of the skin so strongly that riots have occurred, there is divisiveness against standing with or agains law enforcement figures, there is division based in if your now vaccinated or not with the covid vaccines…and on and on and on…

At every turn now there is more hate and discord then there is true unity as there once was 20 years ago. The tragedy that is COVID has caused so much strife. Yet in one fateful day when many were taken, many became hero’s, many became survivors, many became New Yorkers. That now we stand at odds like 20 years ago didn’t happen.

Maybe today, this fateful day can remind us once again to unite and stand together and not against each other!

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🇺🇸

Happy 2021!!!

We are one week into 2021 and the spill over from 2020 continues…

This week alone has been set with history making atrocities that make Americans look so foolish, that it cannot go without saying “God help us all”!

The crap shoot of the unfolding of the political power struggle, the demonstration of mass unruliness, pointing fingers at who is to blame, all things in my opinion tactics to deflect from the real news of what isgoin on with COVID and these inoculations that they are fearfully insighting the American people to take blindly.

My latest youtube vid on it, please subscribe!

In my personal sphere work has been insane, needless to say when you work for an incredibly small independent mom and pop company and the financial pinch 2020 put everyone in, ownership has been tightening the reigns and demanding that us the employees do all within our capacity to collect debts. This in and of itself will make the people you interact with in face-to-face monthly hate you as ownership either demand money or we cannot carry the continuation of an exorbitant amount of debt on accounts. While they are sequestered in the sanctity of their dwelling for healthy and safety reasons during this COVID climate, they can easily say such things as they aren’t face-to-face with customers as I am. Who will be the one catching the flack, me!

In my even more personal sphere, my father that I am a caregiver for has had some ups and downs as of late and I am having to watch him carefully to see if there has been a change. At his 71 years of age and medical history I cannot take any chances with his mind going into his bipolar, schizophrenia state as he had in past years until the medication got him somewhat stable. He went down memory lane recounting how it would be my moms bday soon and how old she would have been(she passed in 2016), then he recounted his mothers bday coming up and how old she would have been(she passed in 2001).

Not even a day later he calls me in a frenzy upset the pharmacy wont refill his meds and how he needs them and they need his new insurance card and how its my fault they don’t have it, how its my responsibility to handle this and on and on and on. So, after about an hour and locating his new insurance card, calling the pharmacy I got it all tended to. Then I had to call and deal with a letter that came in the mail for him about setting up his colonoscopy and his COVID test to have the test fulfilled. He has had a hate for me since scheduling that exam for him. Now that packet of information has arrived and I have to now follow it to the letter to make sure this goes like its suppose to so we can find out why his test for why he needs this came back positive.

Having to do this alone has been daunting, but what else is to be expected this year I am not sure. I am praying God sends me a best friend to have someone to talk to in times like this cause some I am finding will blow you off quick as soon as you have met their need or want. I need someone true and that will be there with me to stand with me.

Happy trails folks in 2021, I am sure hoping by my next blog it will be cheerier!

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Fall Days

Global Pandemic Style

Well… picking up where I left off in my last blog post, the state in which I reside in America entered Phase 3 of reopening. But guess what?!?! We are still under a full mask mandate! The numbers of cases fell back for a time, now they are surging again. More and more coming down with this now dreaded virus.

Many times with the news of all this like staring at a forest and not seeing a way out! Then you make a turn toward faith during all this then suddenly a glimmer of light shines forth. With each passing day we all must fight to remain positive or easily slip into the dark abyss of depression. I battle this myself so I know the struggle well.

So much has been happening that its too much for the brain! I work in telecommunications and I tell you we should be considered front line workers trying to help keep kids schools going with them doing remote learning and keeping our cable network afloat amidst the networks making so many changes to towers, equipment and more its a constant hurdle to keep people informed and able to do work and school. Its only Wednesday and I feel like I have done a months worth of work in two weeks.

I have to remind myself that if I fall apart I am the only one who will pick me up and help me get back together again along with my faith in God and the tools my leaders have given me to use. Its ok to fall apart! Just don’t allow yourself to stay in those states. Get up and get back to the battle. The battle will be as long as we have breathe in our bodies.

I try to keep some new ways to keep life entertaining and exciting by sewing little pillows, walks in park, watching movies from time to time, or just listening to music, occasionally a book, game or puzzle of some kind.

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Moments With Cynthia

Continuing Saga – Year 2020

COVID-19 Living

Maybe its just me, but there are days, weeks, and at times months when it has felt like we are in the Bill Murray Movie “Ground Hog Day”. Life perpetually stuck on repeat, same predictable stuff day-in and day-out.

But then something amazing happens that snatches you right out of the cycle and into something new! At the beginning of this month that happened for me. A group of us got together in socially distance manner and had a small party! It was so much fun! It was 60s & 70s theme and we all dressed up. I dressed up like a flower child hippie.

I had the bell bottoms and leather strapped sandals with my vibrant yellow retro top with sunflower headdress. It was fun to my soul to pull out my inner flower child persona. I got all dressed up for the event and ran in starbucks for a coffee before hitting the event, my local baristas erupted into “look at you” or “wow where are you off too” after light talks with the college age baristas i set back out for the days festivities.

Everyone at the event had a blast. We ate to our hearts content. Had party punch to our hearts content. And played game after game til we were all zonked. It was a much needed pace change from the whats become norm of covid living of life.

The festivities re-awakened the fact that I need to get back to what I was doing when lock down first happened. By taking a less stressful approach to daily life. So, one day I took my now only fur-child to the walking path. I needed the down time in nature and my Sweet Pea needed a new adventure since we lost her brother.

I’ve tried to keep in mind the “slow down” mindset to enjoy things, take things in, destress, decompress, shed worry, doubts and fears and just simply live. That is still a daily battle to fight.

Now that fall has begun, I have been brainstorming on how I can keep that slow down mindset as winter approaches. The best I could come up with is taking time to enjoy watching movies. I have found some fantastic deals in the Walmart $5 bin. I recently got a 3 dvd set in there of American Sniper, Sully and Grand Torino. I’m not a fan of the Grand Torino so I haven’t watched it as of yet, but the other two as they are based on real people and real events I highly enjoyed those.

I’ve even located some fabric squares at the Dollar Tree that I am gonna make into small decorative pillows. That will be a good mix up from when i want to slow down, but don’t want to watch movies.

Even recently I visited a sunflower patch. Watch the highlights of it on my youtube channel: Sunflower Field Trip 🌻

Slowing down has even catapult me into planning out what I can ahead of time. I am an admin for my churches page to aide in the ministry helping peoples souls. I post information that I have gleaned from since being there to help newcomers to the ministry. To aide leaderships plow of new ground within souls to be softened, if they take it in, the info that is shared.

I’ve begun adding for posting to my facebook ministry page as well, by posting daily moments of inspiration from the word of God, each week focusing on one area of the faith.

This adopting of a lifestyle of planning certain details gas allotted me more time as I have more time now it seems. So much so that I have begun trying to build my youtube channel with content on my coffee adventures and sharing encouraging words there also from Gods word. So far I post two videos a week. Consider subscribing, I would appreciate it.

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~Cynthia~

These are the days…

2020 As it progresses is becoming a year to ponder a new way of living.

With each passing day we never know what is around the corner living during times of a global Corona Virus Pandemic. Will we have a surge in the numbers and the governor order us all to go back into lock down. How close will it get to touching us?

As of my last blog post, I had to make the most gut wrenching decision ever and that was to have my very sick and weak oldest furbaby put down so that he wouldn’t be suffering any more. Having to do that was like the last piece of my mom who passed away in Nov 2016 go. Needless to say I miss my baby boy Midnight.

My baby girl Sweet Pea misses him too. Keeping her my happy girl from being depressed has been my newest undertaking, Longer walks, car rides, and treats make her so happy since she lost her brother. Thats all she known was a life with him. She is slowly adjusting to the changes, but it makes you wonder do they ever fully understand.

2020 will be a year for the record books in my world my vehicle had been in the shop since February. Then loosing s fur-child. A stripping away year it seems. If I dwell to long on it I could sink into a depression so deep that the animals deep in the abyss of the ocean would find me.

Choosing to embrace the changes that have come with this year and holding on to the promises of God keep me from sinking.

“And we know that God causes all things to work together for good to those who love God, to those who are called according to His purpose.”
‭‭Romans‬ ‭8:28‬ ‭NASB‬‬

God has a divine plan and purpose for this year. Since I got my first book published I have been able to get back to blogging this year again on a consistent basis. My latest endeavors are writing in my 2nd book and putting out video content on my youtube channel. Some coffee reviews lately, but my next one I have added on a special edition I may expand on later, for now its and ease into the platform and enjoying something I love, which is coffee.

In all this year of 2020 it will cause you to re-evaluate so much of life. How income is earned, how interpersonal relationships can grow in limited confinds especially when social distancing is in play, How to grow in gifts, talents, abilities, calls of God, ministry assignments and more, when you have to find development ways outside of the traditional ways of education, workshops and training. Life is a training ground when it is allowed and the devices we hold in our hands daily are key access points to a world of development when used resourcefully.

Don’t miss out on the opportunity to change something about yourself during these times! It may be beneficial down the road. One change can be the catalyst for a major breakthrough!

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Cynthia 🌺

Faith – During a Global Pandemic

It will see you through! Especially times like we live in now!

“Now faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen.”
‭‭Hebrews‬ ‭11:1‬ ‭KJV‬‬

Many times the doom, disparity, gloom, and darkness of the times we live in want to come in and take up space or even residency if allowed for too long.

Its up to ourself to fight the good fight of faith! Its a choice to choose hope, its a choice to choose joy, its a choice to keep the faith!

I recall being told numerous times from those further down the spiritual path then I to, take time to reflect on all the good God has done, look at all the answered prayers and allow that to build your faith, becoming the substance that is needed to see what is hoped for manifest!

“be not conformed to this world: but be ye transformed by the renewing of your mind, that ye may prove what is that good, and acceptable, and perfect, will of God.”
‭‭Romans‬ ‭12:2‬ ‭KJV‬‬

Every time the darkness wants to come like a blanket of false comfort, I have to be aware to fight to renew my mind. Thats where we win or loose it all begins in the mind. I have to take up my sword of the Word of God and pull from Gods strength.

“for my strength is made perfect in weakness.”
‭‭2 Corinthians‬ ‭12:9‬ ‭KJV‬‬

I have a proclivity to not deal with things timely at times. The slip by and build and build and build until one day I am so over taken by it all, that I either crash or explode. Neither one when they happen are pretty. In the last few months I have been working on dealing with things before they get out of hand. Learning to pay attention to what I am thinking so I can take the wrong thoughts captive and sort them out sooner.

“for the weapons of our warfare are not of the flesh, but divinely powerful for the destruction of fortresses. We are destroying speculations and every lofty thing raised up against the knowledge of God, and we are taking every thought captive to the obedience of Christ,”
‭‭2 Corinthians‬ ‭10:4-5‬ ‭NASB‬‬

Its up to me and only me to deal with my thoughts. For what I think on so I become. This is by far easier said then done. It is a job to watch your mind. But, if that is the way to continue to keep changing, then I must be committed to the work to see it through. For faith without works is dead, just as work without faith is dead. Both of those have to been alive on the scene.

For as he thinks within himself, so he is. He says to you, “Eat and drink!” But his heart is not with you.”
‭‭Proverbs‬ ‭23:7‬ ‭NASB‬‬

Thank you for taking the time to read my blog! I hope that it encourages you and inspires you to keep the faith, do what you can to change, and continue to seek God! This blog has derived teachings I have received under the Pastoralship of Juanita Gibbs.

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🌺Cynthia🌺

Faith over Fear

The days in which we live currently are becoming consumed by fear all around!

“But understand this, that in the last days dangerous times [of great stress and trouble] will come [difficult days that will be hard to bear].”
‭‭2 Timothy‬ ‭3:1‬ ‭AMP‬‬

I considered blogging long and hard especially with the current climate of the world. So, instead of my usual, I figured I would share how my life and world are being hit by the COVID-19 epidemic, and share some faith so we can stand firm and make it through these times.

In the past few days, every grocery store I have entered, beef and chicken products are all emptied, bread of all kinds gone. Can goods flying off the shelf left and right! Milk and eggs being purchased by the cart loads. Products of lysol, bleach, hand sanitizer, any disinfectant spray were off the shelf for a week prior to all this.

As of the most recent event of this virus, many stores are required to close early, restaurants are only allowed to do take out or delivery. Communal dining areas are fully shut down. People are loosing jobs due to having to close early, especially those in the restaurant and bar industry.

The economic effects of this will take weeks to rebound from, granted the gov’t has a proposed stimulus plan, but only time will tell how that helps. More cases are popping up, social distancing has been widely promoted.

All during these passing weeks I have been trying my best to put faith over fear! The statics, the forecasting, the foreboding of it all insight and harbors fear. Pulling from the Word of God has been a must or fear will consume anyone in these times.

“He who dwells in the secret place of the Most High Shall abide under the shadow of the Almighty. I will say of the LORD, “He is my refuge and my fortress; My God, in Him I will trust.” Surely He shall deliver you from the snare of the fowler And from the perilous pestilence. He shall cover you with His feathers, And under His wings you shall take refuge; His truth shall be your shield and buckler. You shall not be afraid of the terror by night, Nor of the arrow that flies by day, Nor of the pestilence that walks in darkness, Nor of the destruction that lays waste at noonday. A thousand may fall at your side, And ten thousand at your right hand; But it shall not come near you. Only with your eyes shall you look, And see the reward of the wicked. Because you have made the LORD, who is my refuge, Even the Most High, your dwelling place, No evil shall befall you, Nor shall any plague come near your dwelling; For He shall give His angels charge over you, To keep you in all your ways. In their hands they shall bear you up, Lest you dash your foot against a stone. You shall tread upon the lion and the cobra, The young lion and the serpent you shall trample underfoot. “Because he has set his love upon Me, therefore I will deliver him; I will set him on high, because he has known My name. He shall call upon Me, and I will answer him; I will be with him in trouble; I will deliver him and honor him. With long life I will satisfy him, And show him My salvation.””
‭‭Psalms‬ ‭91:1-16‬ ‭NKJV‬‬

Stay safe everyone! These are perilous times!

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Keep on Walking

Be watchful of the traps people set for you on your path of life!

“Establish my footsteps in Your word…”
‭‭Psalms‬ ‭119:133‬ ‭NASB‬‬

When your in a season of growth and development, many want to come along and hinder that growth!

When your trying as hard as you can to change in areas that need to be changed in to only be told things that only cause you depression, the notion to give up, walk away from God, walk away from the church and spiritual family… those are things I have had to learn to become aware of and take a stand up against. Many see it as being combative and it is, but when you are run down you have every right to defend yourself!

But the moment you do that you become the bad guy, your messing with a call on someones life, your twisted, sick, immature and how you are is unacceptable. Never mind what they did, said or how they took the situation and said things that were hurtful. So yes, I in-turn unleashed hurtful things as a retaliation.

The bible says turn the other cheek, but baby I can assure you that is hard for this one to do. I took hurtful, hateful words most all my life and I will not just take them anymore! You cause me pain, I will cause you pain in return!

Is that being petty?

Yes!

Is it mature?

No!

When your a wounded soul fight or flight is an automatic response mechanism! Will I justify what I have done to harm another? Already done that by blaming it on wounds and by retaliating because sore places within me are touched!

The only thing now to do is keep on walking! (Psalm 119:133)

Seek forgiveness from the Lord and plead mercy on the reaping that will take place from all thats been sown!

When your cover is blown seek the refuge of the shelter of the wings (Psalm 91).

“He who dwells in the shelter of the Most High Will abide in the shadow of the Almighty. I will say to the LORD, “My refuge and my fortress, My God, in whom I trust!” For it is He who delivers you from the snare of the trapper And from the deadly pestilence. He will cover you with His pinions, And under His wings you may seek refuge; His faithfulness is a shield and bulwark. You will not be afraid of the terror by night, Or of the arrow that flies by day; Of the pestilence that stalks in darkness, Or of the destruction that lays waste at noon. A thousand may fall at your side And ten thousand at your right hand, But it shall not approach you. You will only look on with your eyes And see the recompense of the wicked. For you have made the LORD, my refuge, Even the Most High, your dwelling place. No evil will befall you, Nor will any plague come near your tent. For He will give His angels charge concerning you, To guard you in all your ways. They will bear you up in their hands, That you do not strike your foot against a stone. You will tread upon the lion and cobra, The young lion and the serpent you will trample down. “Because he has loved Me, therefore I will deliver him; I will set him securely on high, because he has known My name. He will call upon Me, and I will answer him; I will be with him in trouble; I will rescue him and honor him. With a long life I will satisfy him And let him see My salvation.””
‭‭Psalms‬ ‭91:1-16‬ ‭NASB
‬‬

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Cynthia 💞

Storms of Life

What happens when my anchor gets pulled up!

This past Sunday, I will admit my anchor was uprooted and moved due to what my emotions have taken on as a violent storm in my world.

In my usual preparation for the day it went normal, until the moment I got in my vehicle and went up out of my parking spot and to the stop sign to enter the main road. It was at that moment my vehicle decided it wasn’t going to shift and continue going forward.

There I was a woman, terrified, vulnerable, sitting half in traffic, being honked at as if I didn’t know I was in the way. I wanted to fully break down in that moment.

I sat there going from drive to reverse many times and not moving an inch. Waving cars around me to go on while my hazards flashed feeling very helpless. I took out my phone and texted the only person that I could that one would look for me on Sunday and two the only one that has ever moved to help me in the past.

She asked some questions to get her husband on the scene as he is an amazing mechanic. Eventually as I still sat there a car came up in my conversing with my potential help. To push me out of the road of oncoming traffic while I continued to attempt to get help.

As I sat there the lady I reached out to told me her husband prepared to come and assist me in any way he could, and if he was unsuccessful he could bring me to church. The guy who pushed me out the road stopped and asked where I lived and I told him just behind where I was sitting.

He went to get a helper and they both came and pushed my vehicle to a point where it could roll down the hill and get me close to my home. Needless to say this moment became funny to them. I will explain why…

So, my vehicle in neutral being pushed back a ways so it can roll down hill, then it was all up to me driving backwards to get it close to my home. So my vehicle is a large SUV and me being a woman I guess they assumed I may not handle driving backwards very well. I got drove that rig backwards down hill. Turned without hesitation to the right into the area of parking then a left to get me close to a parking slot.

The guys came to see where I ended up and they were laughing so hard. They said ma’am, where did you learn how to drive like that, we was shocked you could whip that rig like you did! I must say some of that is probably coming from my country living upbringing and my love for like go-carts and things. They got a good laugh and I got my truck home and in a parking slot.

Then from there I went to church and was wonderfully brought back home by the lady’s husband to only begin to find help, a mechanic, someone who knows anything about vehicles. At every turn I was told no I cannot come to you, no I cannot help you, one even told me worse case scenario and two ran with the notion.

Needless to say I crawled in bed feeling very very helpless and allowed depression to begin to come and wrap its arms tightly around me. The lady kindly reached out and asked if she could take me to the store. I didn’t have brain space to handle getting a few odds and ends, let alone continue to be turned down in the help department. Time passed and I remained thinking and thinking and then emotions engage cause they want to support every thought. Depression, anxiety, a way out are all things that came about in this one day.

Monday came, boy did it ever! I wanted to just wallow in my emotions and just sink into the dark abyss my soul (mind, will, and emotions) were creating for me to live in. The lady reached out again to take me to the store, I honestly wanted to sulk and sink deeper, but she was being used to extend a had to snatch me back out of that dark abyss.

Even since Monday I have not been fully myself. My mind is far over crowded with what steps I need to take, calls I need to make, funds I need to have that I just don’t at this moment, until it all can be figured out and evaluated.

Now my luck is dealing with todays snow fall, that delays every move I need to make. I am so anxious and depressed that my meds are only minimally helping. The battle of the soul is a hard one. With the content I am beginning to put together to publish, I can only gather this is my testing to see if I will live out what I put out into the world.

It is so beyond hard to not be swayed and moved emotionally to the point I can firmly say no, I have firm faith in this area and stand in the word. If I was better able to do that my anchor wouldn’t have been pulled up and moved. But it has now, so the only thing I can do now is work my way back to some level of inward stability.

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