Thank You 2020 For Everything!

This year has been one of the best years and one of the worst years!

Can’t that be said for just about every year we face… year after year we face tragedy in small and large scale and victories in small and large scale. As a whole, 2020 has been just that, as I discharge the negative that has been highly propagated, with a pause to look at the bigger picture of what this year has truly encompassed.

Pause and smell the roses!

Globally we have faced a pandemic, weather disasters, economic distress, massive depression, abusive behaviors toward one another or one-self and so much more.

In turn we have slowed down, connected better with children, connected on a new level of intimacy in couples, technology had become a mainstream ways to connect with others outside our dwelling places and so much more.

With every ending there is a new beginning just around the corner!

For myself, I have had a vehicle stripped away from me, loss of my fur-child, contracted COVID-19, and so much more.

But, having my vehicle stripped away from me made a level of pride kneel to a higher authority of not setting things above God. Loosing my fur-child caused me to revisit wounds from the loss of my mother from back in 2016, that needed to be fully grieved out and allow for healing to come. Then, contracting COVID allowed me time in full isolation to deal with childhood traumas of not being validated, loved, nurtured in ways that promote healthy growth. I have begun to learn to allow the love of the Father to come and fill those void places within my soul. That had I not been fully isolated I wouldn’t have even begun to allow healing to come into the depths that could lead me to paths of destruction.

One of my top love languages

My alone time in isolation really revealed a depth of need that I have within me for validation from quality time I spend with people. Quality time is such a strong love language for me it seems that if I don’t manage it and control myself in it, that it will rule and drive me. My isolation time made me see this and learn ways to become self-contented and pour into myself, enjoy time with myself, allow the love from others that has spent time with me to flood my soul. As my Pastor says it is variations of self-parenting that will begin to fill the voids and depths from lack from formative years. If I don’t grow and deal with this now I will deplete my future husband from trying to fulfill things for me that are essentially not his job to do.

2020 had been a molding and making year indeed for me. Removing dependency upon the worldly things to have a sense of security. When in my time battling COVID, God used that to strip away dependency from the world and drive me straight into His arms to depend upon Him. Being out of work meant no income, aside from the fact that I don’t have employer covered health coverage. Faith and my tribe of believers and as I was told by my Pastor being a tither and a giver using faith in that time had stocked up enough in the banks of heaven to see a withdrawal come forth to see that I stayed in my apartment and my bills got paid. Still now with hours cut and such my bills are still getting paid and being a giver and a tither prove that God will look out for His children.

Lavender Sky

It is now in this time when the threshold of the new is approaching and the closed door to the old is about to be shut, that we need to take back the peace, joy, and love that the Father has so freely given us and shake off the fear, doubts, worry, and depression that the world and the ruler there of has put on the people that have no way to combat it. I will fight to gain peace, I will fight to get my love story back on track, I will fight to know that the joy of the Lord is my strength. I will fight to shake off the propaganda that a vaccine will save the world when I will only create more problems and thats proving to be true even now with the virus mutations, I will fight off worry cause my Father has unlimited source no matter how often they threaten a government shut down. I will fight off doubts of how it all will turn out and look through the lenses of faith to see what hasn’t manifested yet, that will will I see it clearly by faith. I will shake off depression cause that is a culmination of allowing to world to control me, put me in their box and to be a robot under their operation. Break free from those things and allow the heavenly to steer you! Money helps our living in this world, but when it is our driving force then it becomes futile. Allow faith in God to be the driving force.

Thank you all for taking time to read my blog! Thank you for all the new ones and future subscribers!

Be sure to follow me on facebook, youtube, instagram, amazon and teespring for my products, books, videos and more to come in 2021 and beyond…

💞Cynthia💞

Gladness of Heart

Seeking God’s will for your life brings gladness of heart.

In coming to Reformation Developmental Center that is Pastored by Juanita Gibbs (read her blog post from today) that I stepped into God’s will for my life.

The reason I know I am in God’s will where I am at is because growth is happening, cultivation of gifts has been occuring, purpose has come forth and an overwhelming sense of fulfillment has come within.

Glory in His holy name; Let the heart of those who seek the Lord be glad.
1 Chronicles 16:10 NASB

Never in my wildest dreams did I think that one day I would be truly and completley happy in my life. I had spent so much of it being negative and looking at things from that perspective dampened every outlook I had.

To work with the children at church as an ordained Youth Teacher, to blog 4 to 5 days a week, work on projects that have kingdom impact. Write a book (of which I am still writing) and have two more potential books to write. Being part of a family of God that loves, accepts and helps me continue to grow.

These things came only by seeking the Lord and asking Him where did He want me to be. My soul had done made the choice 2x before and the tenure with those ended and to much pain I have to say.

The gladness of heart has only come by seeking God for what His will for my life was to be, and its been a joyous thing ever since.

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~Cynthia 😍

Faith Power

Hope in the Lord!

Where in lays my hope?

In Man?

In God?

I have been one to put full on trust in man over God ashamedly!

I had built a belief system that people could do more for me in my time than God could in His time.

My lack of patiencr says God your taking to long and I need to do this myself with the help of people.

What happened with that is short lived temporary gratification and eventual disaster with more pain on the other side of it. But why right?

Simple…

The Lord didnt build it. Those who build of their own labor in vain. My self works have not and will never be blessed by God.

Faith in God needs to be my firm anchor!

Faith in God needs to be my sight!

Faith in God needs to be my joy!

Faith in God needs to be my strength!

God is faithful I just have to restfully assure and be fully persuaded as Pastor Juanita Gibbs says that at Reformation Developmental Center. Then she goes on to tell us to wrestle to enter Gods rest.

The wrestle indicates the work I must do to maintain peace, joy, love, faith in God and the more of His power and soundness of mind to manifest His glory in time. But, it only comes by me being of faith.

Yesterday Pastor taught us that its is only by faith that promises will manifest. In doubt there is no fruit of good things that can come in life.

Pastor gave me a few scripture to meditate to and to help keep my mind renewed and fresh within God to grow my spirit to have faith over that doubt. I wake up and begin to speak them to myself to build up my most holy faith that certainly needs sturdier construction.

Thankfully blessed to be part of a body of believers that not only encourages growth and development but also encourages me to obtain all the goodness God has stored away for me that is awaiting my faith to activate to bring it to fruition.

Praise the Lord !

Praise the Lord , O my soul! I will praise the Lord while I live; I will sing praises to my God while I have my being. Do not trust in princes, In mortal man, in whom there is no salvation. His spirit departs, he returns to the earth; In that very day his thoughts perish. How blessed is he whose help is the God of Jacob, Whose hope is in the Lord his God, Who made heaven and earth, The sea and all that is in them; Who keeps faith forever; Who executes justice for the oppressed; Who gives food to the hungry. The Lord sets the prisoners free. The Lord opens the eyes of the blind; The Lord raises up those who are bowed down; The Lord loves the righteous; The Lord protects the strangers; He supports the fatherless and the widow, But He thwarts the way of the wicked. The Lord will reign forever, Your God, O Zion, to all generations. Praise the Lord !
Psalms 146:1‭-‬10 NASB

I have been robbed!!!

Yes!! Shocking to say I have been robbed!!

But what is it that I have been robbed of?

Well…

For starters I can say I have been robbed of many things like joy, peace, love, etc. The theif comes but to steal, kill and destroy!

When I have allowed things to be stolen from my life it opens the door within me to allow my life to be killed in areas and destroyed in areas.

This happened because of my lack of the truth hidden in my heart!

This has happened because of lack of word life.

This has happened because lack of training in how to properly study Gods word.

This has happened because I didnt get properly fitted for armor to be able to with stand battles and fight the good fight of faith.

So many want believers to wear the armor of others instead of allowing them to be fitted for their own garments.

I am blessed to say when God aligned me with Reformation Developmental Center Pastored by Juanita Gibbs that it has been a place of take off the armor that was put on me to wear of others and be able to stand before God and the people as myseld and be fitted for my own garments, my own armor to fight my battles and begin on a path of victory.

As the book my Pastor wrote is about that very thing about changing a mindset to be victorious. That book I return to over and over again. I have mentioned it in previous blogs and especially in the blog I decated to her as she so wonderfully inspired me to begin blogging.

She has helped me in so many ways that I am eternally greatful for she has been helping me now make stronger my garments and stronger my armor. By putting more of the word inside my heart by meditating and thinking on Gods truths when the robber comes to steal from me.

I can begin to fight back with “it is written” resisting the urge to give into the lies do he can flee and begin to deminish such a strong influence in my inner life. As this happens more and more victory is mine!

~Love Life~Live Life~ 😍

~Cynthia 😉

Single and Happy

There is a time and season for all things!

It is widely popular now that if your not with someone then there has to be something wrong with you.

Is there something wrong with me?

I am single and have been a very long time!

Does that make my humanity any less than someone involved with someone?

The world and times would say yes there is something wrong with me. In some cases yes the church world would also! Yes! I said it the church also!

Not to many in the area I reside have singles geared programs, teachings on how to be am effective single, being a single christian and devoting your time to God in that season.

It wasn’t until I started going to Reformation Developmental Center pastored by Juanita Gibbs where she began to open up my world to me that my time of singleness is a gift to be treasured.

I am free to serve the kingdom as much as I can without distractions. I dont have to subject my earnings to anyone else before I give to the kingdom. I don’t have to subject my body but to God in this time when I want to fast and such.

Yes, I admit being single and remaining as such has gotten me down in the past. I have allowed man made ideas, holidays and the like to tell me what I am suppose to be as a 30ish single.

But what does God say about it as His truth trumps the ideals of men. God says seek me with your whole heart. Seek me first, keep me first, surrender everything to me. That is Gods order and design.

As I mentioned in my last singles post by doing the seeking and work on my own that was my self will not Gods will. He killed every plan that was not of his plan and purposes. Thank God He did too.

My time of singleness is to work on my inner life to have my soul prosper. To correct the inner issues, to heal the inner wounds, to subject myself to the God who knows whats best for me. He proclaims His ways are higher, his thoughts are higher.

Man oh man are they ever. Had God not stepped in and stopped my plans how much heartache and pain in the long run has he saved me from and from inflicting on another.

My soul issues could and have done serious damage left unattended. I am learning slowly to love life as a single, give my all to God, serve him in my current purpose and seek him and keep him first.

God says keep humble and at the proper time exultation will come for them who remain humble. Humble left the building on me the other day and seeing it deeply grieves me. Pride genuinley comes before the fall.

When you fall, fall and look at why you fell then see why you fell and learn from it to keep from repeating it. Only the meek can inherit the earth as the earth is His and the fullness there of and having a level of pride negates the capacity of God to show himself as He knows he wont be glorified.

Humble will glorify God over self. These are just things that I am learning and discovering about myself in my time now without distractions as I am finding contentmemt and trust slowly as it comes to my relationship with God.

As I allow Him into my life he is filling me with himself and His truth to be free from old bondage, be healed from past woundings, and to live a life that glorfies him over any thing and everything I can or have done.

My Pastor who has helped me embrace my singleness and learn about myself in this time. She does also teach on the fundamentals of relationships and the dynamics of it all.

Please don’t misunderstand these posting either of a bitter or hatefilled singlehood. No this is just an enlightenment on my journey.

Every single persons journey is different. I am just expressing and showing that you can find happiness in the status that is so widely not popular to have.

~Love Life~ Live Life~ 😍

~Cynthia 😉

Status is not a final definition of life!!

Single, married, divorced, widowed, etc these “statuses” should NOT define the whole of a person!

Yes I am single!!!

So what?

Does that fully define my womanhood? Perhaps in the worldly mindset of if your single your seen as undesired and something wrong with you. Especially if SINGLE is your status into your 30s.

I am constantly asked by people close and total strangers alike are you married? Do you have children? When I reply NO that begins to issue a whole other level of questions. Don’t you want to get married and have children? YES! It just hasn’t happened for me yet! I will wait for Gods perfect timing for all things especially in the relationship regard.

Sorry to burst your bubble people but people no matter their age are human and have feelings and sometimes question can open up things unknowingly on the questioners part to the questionee. Why do we not take into consideration how people may feel when asked certain questions about a status.

Just because I have not modeled my life similar to that of the world, it does not mean I am a freak and that any and all like me should be banished from society and put on a deserted island some where. To live behind walls of a worldy defining status I have done for too long as it is. Single life is to be cherished for what it is.

I am free to go and do!

I am free to give to the kingdom!

I am free to serve the kingdom!

I am free until such time as God may promote me to a different status!

Feeling depressed or lonely based of a “status” has only take away from the joy I can experiance now in my freedom of doing all God has set my hands to do now. I have great support in this season of singleness in a true friend who is there for me no matter the hour, no matter what they have goin on, no matter whatever they are there when I need someone the most.

I am working on being the best version of myself and walking toward healing in areas as to why I remain single. This is part of Gods plan for now to get my inner workings healed, deliver and set free. So my “status” doesn’t fully define me! Its only a small part of me.

Please note: I write none of this for sympathy or pity! I write this to bring awareness for myself and other single sisters out there in the world.

I also write to encourage them, as well as, myself! Stay strong if your single! Do all your hands are set to in this time, better yourself, heal from hurts of broken relationships and wait on God while seeking His kingdom first! So can do the work while we rest on the promise and in time if its His will as we trust he can bring it to pass.

~Love Live ~ Live Life ~ 😍

~Cynthia 😉