Seasons Change

“To every thing there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven:”
‭‭Ecclesiastes‬ ‭3:1‬ ‭KJV‬‬

It’s hard to understand sometimes why seasons change, especially when we aren’t the one’s in charge of making the change.

Like last year about this time the global season of being outgoing, carefree, vivacious, and free came to a screeching halt during the time the pandemic of COVID-19 become more impacting to us all.

The season of the pandemic seemed to take us back to yester year when we connected genuinely with one another. A season in which family became more paramount. A season of loss in many ways, such as life, job, finances, and so much more. A time this has been, that I would say probably six months of 2020 really revealed what and who was important in this world. The shops we went to closed cause they were deemed “non-essential” the sporting events deemed “non-essential” what became essential where Parents to be home while their children home schooled from computers. Front line workers of Doctors, nurses, EMTs, truck drivers, teachers, and anyone working in essential business became what was vitally important in the season.

What’s begun to happen since that season came upon us?

The restrictions and limitations have been slowly shedding…

What’s been happening as a result of that?

We’ve not stayed so deeply connected with one another. We are allowing the times to go right back into ruling our schedule. When, I wholeheartedly believe that season of shutdown globally, if people had allowed God into it, they would see that He used that season to show us what was TRULY important. He to me revealed the level of Christian brotherly and sisterly love that could come forth during such isolating times. People genuinely checked on one another, people begun to see their deep need of true community, people could see that being an island to ourself is lonely.

When the world used it to say, ok the shops are open go spend your money. Go out and support local! Which, there is nothing wrong with doing that in a way that it doesn’t consume your entire life. Helping one another yes is a God command, but why soon as restrictions let up we are all ready to head to the shops and hang out on isle 7. Yet, we still refuse to gather in Houses of Prayer due to fear of the virus. How is the virus not on isle 7 and yet its on the third church pew, that is some thinking I will never understand.

Seasons Change and some we have control in making come about, when I changed jobs that was one season change I had a hand in. Yet still even before the verdict of being accepted at the new job, God presented a choice, remain or leave… the choice was mine as we have all been given free-will to choose. I chose to leave the old job, and since I have, my anxiety level has drastically decreased. My level of worries changed. My thought shifted to new things.

Don’t get me wrong sometimes season change and bring wonderful things like new love, a wedding, a child, a promotion, a raise. Seasons changing is part of life whether we have a say or not… it will forever be what we make of the season while we are in it. That lesson alone has taken me a while to grasp in my mindset. I’m slowly getting there!

Thank you for taking the time to read my blog! May it encourage you & give you hope!

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Life Changes During A Global Pandemic

In life, the time will never be right, but when God presents an opportunity; it is then up to us to trust the presentation and take a step of faith!

“Listen carefully, I am about to do a new thing, Now it will spring forth; Will you not be aware of it? I will even put a road in the wilderness, Rivers in the desert.”
‭‭Isaiah‬ ‭43:19‬ ‭AMP‬‬

I’ve written about this before somewhere I am sure, but the relevancy is so present in my life the month of February that it needs to be expressed again. Many times we pray to God for things like: “God, I need a new job” or “God, I want someone to love me for who I am” or “God, I need you to make changes around me”.

But what happens when the new job opportunity comes and you decide to stay where you are at.

What happens when the guy/girl comes along that will love you for who you are, but they are outside of your type.

What happens when God wants to change something about your character instead of fully removing you from situations, he wants to perfect something in you, but all you see is the error of others and not your own.

We have all in some way or another done one if not all three of those things I’ve mentioned. I know I have! But, what I’ve had to grow into and learn is to seek God about what He is wanting to do, trying to do, and presenting in my life. Now, not everything is from God, this is why we must turn to the Lord in prayer to find out the storyline behind things.

“Trust in and rely confidently on the LORD with all your heart And do not rely on your own insight or understanding. In all your ways know and acknowledge and recognize Him, And He will make your paths straight and smooth [removing obstacles that block your way].”
‭‭Proverbs‬ ‭3:5-6‬ ‭AMP‬‬

If I hadn’t sat my pride down in moment when I wanted out and allowed God to work through my character defects, would I have been able to eventually get a breakthrough in an area thats been long barred from exiting. No! Had I not done the work which allowed God to use an individual to help me grow from my character defects to help promote me to my next level of an opportunity that came that would remove things like poverty, low self worth, and intense levels of anxiety, high levels of offense that none of those things would translate to where God was able to move me to had the work I needed done on my soul not been achieved.

I have so many more character flaws and defects to work through and overcome, but I am committed to making the changes I need to in this life. To improve my quality of life in all areas, as well as, preparing me for when the next opportunity comes in; which I pray is divine partnership of two Godly people. So, since its not presented I may not be ready yet and thats cool, cause I can work out the kinks I need to before they show up to make sure that I am not bringing in more fuel to a situation that the enemy fights against! Oh yeah Satan hates seeing Godly partnerships, so anything I can do now to not allow him a foot hold when that time comes I am all for slamming that door shut by doin the work I need to do on myself.

Thank you for your time in reading my blog!

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Happy 2021!!!

We are one week into 2021 and the spill over from 2020 continues…

This week alone has been set with history making atrocities that make Americans look so foolish, that it cannot go without saying “God help us all”!

The crap shoot of the unfolding of the political power struggle, the demonstration of mass unruliness, pointing fingers at who is to blame, all things in my opinion tactics to deflect from the real news of what isgoin on with COVID and these inoculations that they are fearfully insighting the American people to take blindly.

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In my personal sphere work has been insane, needless to say when you work for an incredibly small independent mom and pop company and the financial pinch 2020 put everyone in, ownership has been tightening the reigns and demanding that us the employees do all within our capacity to collect debts. This in and of itself will make the people you interact with in face-to-face monthly hate you as ownership either demand money or we cannot carry the continuation of an exorbitant amount of debt on accounts. While they are sequestered in the sanctity of their dwelling for healthy and safety reasons during this COVID climate, they can easily say such things as they aren’t face-to-face with customers as I am. Who will be the one catching the flack, me!

In my even more personal sphere, my father that I am a caregiver for has had some ups and downs as of late and I am having to watch him carefully to see if there has been a change. At his 71 years of age and medical history I cannot take any chances with his mind going into his bipolar, schizophrenia state as he had in past years until the medication got him somewhat stable. He went down memory lane recounting how it would be my moms bday soon and how old she would have been(she passed in 2016), then he recounted his mothers bday coming up and how old she would have been(she passed in 2001).

Not even a day later he calls me in a frenzy upset the pharmacy wont refill his meds and how he needs them and they need his new insurance card and how its my fault they don’t have it, how its my responsibility to handle this and on and on and on. So, after about an hour and locating his new insurance card, calling the pharmacy I got it all tended to. Then I had to call and deal with a letter that came in the mail for him about setting up his colonoscopy and his COVID test to have the test fulfilled. He has had a hate for me since scheduling that exam for him. Now that packet of information has arrived and I have to now follow it to the letter to make sure this goes like its suppose to so we can find out why his test for why he needs this came back positive.

Having to do this alone has been daunting, but what else is to be expected this year I am not sure. I am praying God sends me a best friend to have someone to talk to in times like this cause some I am finding will blow you off quick as soon as you have met their need or want. I need someone true and that will be there with me to stand with me.

Happy trails folks in 2021, I am sure hoping by my next blog it will be cheerier!

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Thank You 2020 For Everything!

This year has been one of the best years and one of the worst years!

Can’t that be said for just about every year we face… year after year we face tragedy in small and large scale and victories in small and large scale. As a whole, 2020 has been just that, as I discharge the negative that has been highly propagated, with a pause to look at the bigger picture of what this year has truly encompassed.

Pause and smell the roses!

Globally we have faced a pandemic, weather disasters, economic distress, massive depression, abusive behaviors toward one another or one-self and so much more.

In turn we have slowed down, connected better with children, connected on a new level of intimacy in couples, technology had become a mainstream ways to connect with others outside our dwelling places and so much more.

With every ending there is a new beginning just around the corner!

For myself, I have had a vehicle stripped away from me, loss of my fur-child, contracted COVID-19, and so much more.

But, having my vehicle stripped away from me made a level of pride kneel to a higher authority of not setting things above God. Loosing my fur-child caused me to revisit wounds from the loss of my mother from back in 2016, that needed to be fully grieved out and allow for healing to come. Then, contracting COVID allowed me time in full isolation to deal with childhood traumas of not being validated, loved, nurtured in ways that promote healthy growth. I have begun to learn to allow the love of the Father to come and fill those void places within my soul. That had I not been fully isolated I wouldn’t have even begun to allow healing to come into the depths that could lead me to paths of destruction.

One of my top love languages

My alone time in isolation really revealed a depth of need that I have within me for validation from quality time I spend with people. Quality time is such a strong love language for me it seems that if I don’t manage it and control myself in it, that it will rule and drive me. My isolation time made me see this and learn ways to become self-contented and pour into myself, enjoy time with myself, allow the love from others that has spent time with me to flood my soul. As my Pastor says it is variations of self-parenting that will begin to fill the voids and depths from lack from formative years. If I don’t grow and deal with this now I will deplete my future husband from trying to fulfill things for me that are essentially not his job to do.

2020 had been a molding and making year indeed for me. Removing dependency upon the worldly things to have a sense of security. When in my time battling COVID, God used that to strip away dependency from the world and drive me straight into His arms to depend upon Him. Being out of work meant no income, aside from the fact that I don’t have employer covered health coverage. Faith and my tribe of believers and as I was told by my Pastor being a tither and a giver using faith in that time had stocked up enough in the banks of heaven to see a withdrawal come forth to see that I stayed in my apartment and my bills got paid. Still now with hours cut and such my bills are still getting paid and being a giver and a tither prove that God will look out for His children.

Lavender Sky

It is now in this time when the threshold of the new is approaching and the closed door to the old is about to be shut, that we need to take back the peace, joy, and love that the Father has so freely given us and shake off the fear, doubts, worry, and depression that the world and the ruler there of has put on the people that have no way to combat it. I will fight to gain peace, I will fight to get my love story back on track, I will fight to know that the joy of the Lord is my strength. I will fight to shake off the propaganda that a vaccine will save the world when I will only create more problems and thats proving to be true even now with the virus mutations, I will fight off worry cause my Father has unlimited source no matter how often they threaten a government shut down. I will fight off doubts of how it all will turn out and look through the lenses of faith to see what hasn’t manifested yet, that will will I see it clearly by faith. I will shake off depression cause that is a culmination of allowing to world to control me, put me in their box and to be a robot under their operation. Break free from those things and allow the heavenly to steer you! Money helps our living in this world, but when it is our driving force then it becomes futile. Allow faith in God to be the driving force.

Thank you all for taking time to read my blog! Thank you for all the new ones and future subscribers!

Be sure to follow me on facebook, youtube, instagram, amazon and teespring for my products, books, videos and more to come in 2021 and beyond…

💞Cynthia💞

Fall Days

Global Pandemic Style

Well… picking up where I left off in my last blog post, the state in which I reside in America entered Phase 3 of reopening. But guess what?!?! We are still under a full mask mandate! The numbers of cases fell back for a time, now they are surging again. More and more coming down with this now dreaded virus.

Many times with the news of all this like staring at a forest and not seeing a way out! Then you make a turn toward faith during all this then suddenly a glimmer of light shines forth. With each passing day we all must fight to remain positive or easily slip into the dark abyss of depression. I battle this myself so I know the struggle well.

So much has been happening that its too much for the brain! I work in telecommunications and I tell you we should be considered front line workers trying to help keep kids schools going with them doing remote learning and keeping our cable network afloat amidst the networks making so many changes to towers, equipment and more its a constant hurdle to keep people informed and able to do work and school. Its only Wednesday and I feel like I have done a months worth of work in two weeks.

I have to remind myself that if I fall apart I am the only one who will pick me up and help me get back together again along with my faith in God and the tools my leaders have given me to use. Its ok to fall apart! Just don’t allow yourself to stay in those states. Get up and get back to the battle. The battle will be as long as we have breathe in our bodies.

I try to keep some new ways to keep life entertaining and exciting by sewing little pillows, walks in park, watching movies from time to time, or just listening to music, occasionally a book, game or puzzle of some kind.

In other exciting news I have been working on content for my youtube channel! Please feel free to check it out and subscribe for the content I share!

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Moments With Cynthia

Good Bye April! Hello May!

Out with the old & in with the new!

Since my last time blogging about how this pandemic has touch my life so many things have changed in the world around me.

One Saturday afternoon after the governors orders had gone into effect, I ventured to go to the local Wal-Mart. That is a big store that had everything from clothing, food, medicines, vehicle maintenance to my readers not from America. So, I go to this Wal-Mart, mind you I am all gloved up, masked up, and having to walk around a barricade of sorts as the governor order stated stores had to have a flow so this creating one way in and one way out. But, to my surprise as I approached the door I had to wait to be allowed in. Never in all my years did I ever have to wait to go in Wal-Mart. Three people came out and three people were allowed in. They now have to keep up with the number of people inside the building to maintain safe social distancing.

I left the Wal-Mart to come home with my finds of essentials. So inwardly distraught by the way things are going that after I had settled in for the evening, I downloaded netflix free for 30days. I am not much of a tv watcher. But, with limitations on where I can go, what to do, I ventures down the rabbit hole of television programming. I work for a cable company and I get my fill of television woes from people that it is a turn off to watch tv, at least for me. I did find some interesting programming to fill my time in April. Binge watching full seasons was something I hadn’t partaken of til forced to stay home in a respect.

These are the tv shows and movies I filled my time with:

•Tiger King- An insane documentary on owners of big cats in America, murder,drugs, crazy ppl, and lions and tigers oh my indeed.

• Fuller House- A family oriented show of coming together after a tragedy and growing in a new way when faced with new living. I grew up on Full House this became a modern versin of same show.

•The Tudors – Henry VIII and his many wives and conquests to have a male heir.

•Frontier- A colonial based America during the time of fur traders in the North were battling it out for supremacy over one another.

•Self-Made the Madam CJ Walker Documentary- the fight and plight of African Americans in america to be seen as equals. To venture into her own business of hair grower and developing to a point of having her own factory. VERY INSPIRING STORY

• Queen Elizabeth movies (2) – The struggles of a female queen and the forcing of male dominance in a time that she showed the world that a woman can run her country just as well as any man.

• The Duchess – A movie of how women had no choice in their lives. The young lady from the Spencer family arranged to marry a DUKE In order to produce his heir to his title. He had a live in mistress to make him happy, but the Duchess was forbidden side love to make her happy. Even when she ran off to have it. She got pregnant by her lover. The Duke threatened to take her kids away. Hid her while pregnant and made her give the child to her lovers family.

While the movies or tv shows played I was sowing 4 masks, two for myself, two for a friend, and then I sowed two pillows to fill my time. My new pillows adorn my bed, my face masks are used when going out to stores and my friend has been using hers as she ventures out as well.

Along the bridge

One day I got so bored with sowing and watching programs I had to get out. Yes I know scary, but I ventured to the Common and parked and took a secluded walk on the bridge. It was a mini escape from the city, corona-world, and a mental break from work and home. It was a brief adventure, but one I needed for some self-care.

Actual Town Common Area

I wanted to go back to the other spot for a walk, but so many had discovered it, that I was just too packed out for me to regain a since of peace and solace inwardly with all those people around. Not long ago, maybe even last weekend, not fully sure as days run together, but with the impending lift on some of the orders coming soon folks were out there having a cook out.

I drove by and was like really people. Its bad enough that Phase One reopening will last until the 22nd of the month of May. But the Governor has already said any drastic spike in corona cases we will stay at Phase One or fall back to shelter at home. This virus isn’t gone or dealt with in full and yet still people act as though this isn’t serious. People are dyeing, this is effecting homes, livelihoods and more.

Stopped to waterfront to regroup after a long day

Work has been so stressful, I am in telecommunication and we are essential. The business of providing cable or internet is taxing on the mind and more so when the owner has been prescribed seclusion for their health and safety. Channels cut out people freak out, the Monday before last we had a bad storm roll through with NorEasterly winds and rain, almost tornadic in nature that knocked our power out. Not good. Folks lost the four channels we run out of our office and the towns net was down. People were furious with us. But what caused it was beyond our control.

It was our fault that they lost programming, it was our fault thee internet was down. It was our fault that the power went out too I guess. This pandemic has taken folks to the edge. Im at work alone, power out and surging, its up to me to forcefully unplug technology or the many power surges would kill the computers and phones. Im finalky standing in the hallway where light from outside is coming in to watch customer after customer after customer fly down to the front of our building cause mind you our phones are web based and with power down they wont work.

A heart in the sky

To come fling open the door to be all accusatory of us cutting them off before they even realized, they were standing in a dark room with not one ounce of technology on. This happened countless times in that two hours the storm knocked our power out. It finally came back then I had to reset the office, get the four channels back up and get net restored, along with one of our program provisioners. That was not a fun Monday.

Now as Friday, May 8th at 5pm approaches and the Phase One Reopening begins no telling what stories may spawn from the next two weeks of that. All I know is I want a beach trip as an escape, even if its just for one day, I will take it!

Thank you to all who read and support my blog it means the world to me! I pray everyone is staying safe, healthy and happy as can be during these times!

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Embracing Singleness

Relationship Status in a world that makes it idolized to be of a certain status!

In a world where status is everything so it seems, the world promotes that if your not married then your practically nothing.

To say the least many of us have cosigned with that mindset. But, is it true what they claim?

NO!

I can attest that being single is NOT the end all be all of our existence and neither is marriage. Both have their place in the world and in the church. Married folks (successful marriages) should be encouraged to pour wisdom into singles to help prepare them for their time.

Godly marriages have come along side me in my recent years and have helped burst the false bubbles of fantasy and instill reality and wisdom in the approach to relationships. I first had to embrace the fact that marriage is a long-term successful friendship.

Once I got this I was then challenged to learn to walk in love, this love walk was the one without conditions, boy thats been a challenge. Its been a growing pain of growing from where I once was cold to seeing some fruit of growth how be it ever small, but growth is growth.

The successful marriages showed me that even if marriage doesn’t come I need to learn to love myself and my journey. If someone comes along thats traveling the same road and we can go at it together great, if not; I still have a purpose and call of God to fulfill. Embracing this has brought a level of freedom that no matter my status I still have purpose.

I still have bouts of struggle with this from time to time, I won’t lie about that. Thats our human nature and a good one to have as long as its not our driving force. I was reminded once again to seek first the kingdom of God and all His righteousness them all those things can be added to me.

So, if you struggle being single, know that your not alone. Trust in God and His timing. Work on yourself, love yourself, enjoy yourself! Live life, love others, bring joy to those you can around you. Sow seeds of goodness and kindness where you can.

Love yourself enough to wait on the goodness of the Lord! Trust your preparation season, trust the growth, trust in the Love of the Father! He knows what He is doing, he loves you enough to keep you growing before you mess up any good thing He sends your way!

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Quotes Day 1

Sharing Quotes from My Pastor!

My Pastor Juanita Gibbs has so much to quote for me to share with the blog community that I am greatful for this challenge to share quotes for 3 days.

Thank You Riya – High Noon Journal for the nomination to participate in the 3 day Quote Challenge.

This quote means so much to me cause it can hit various different areas of life.

For me, practicing my faith is what will cause me to succeed in using my faith. We all have been given a measure of faith. It is up to me to exercise my faith to cause it to grow and be more active in my life.

It is this same quote that has used faith to help me become more confident in who I am becoming. Coming from a place of super low esteem and worth take much time and work on my part. I am still at work in this as it is something I batteled a long time with. But God and the fabulous leader in my Pastor He has given me it is on the come up slowly.

If I want to be a successful blogger and soon a successful author I must be repetitious about putting my writings together and developing and growing.

You can use this quote in personal relationships like being repetitious about forgiving. Use it in business, ministry or just life in general. This quote from her means so much to me.

Rules –

1- Thanks to the person who nominated you

2- Post 1 quote for 3 consecutive days (daily 1 quote )

3- Nominate 3 bloggers everyday

Nominate:

1) Matilda & Shelita

2) Qui Talks

3) Saving Joyfully

Steafast and Unmovable

It takes work to be unmoved!

In doing a work for the Lord it is a drawing closer to Him. The more I draw closer to Him the more firm in my faith I can become. But, it takes my efforts to draw closer to Him.

To do so that requires me spending time with Him, praying, meditating on truth from His word, fasting, praising and worshipping Him and giving thanks unto Him for all He has done and will do.

These are ingredients to growing my faith from level to level. The word proclaims we are to go from faith to faith. With each level and drawing closer to Him, the old has to be burned off, demolished, and not returned to for it is so far destroyed that there is no way to go back.

To have that also requires being under the right anointed leadership.

Not everyone can get to the root of things and destroy the yoke to set a person free. It takes a special call on a person by God to walk in that type of call. I am blessed to say that is what my leaders walk in on a day-to-day basis.

Therefore, my beloved brethren, be ye stedfast, unmoveable, always abounding in the work of the Lord, forasmuch as ye know that your labour is not in vain in the Lord.
1 Corinthians 15:58 KJV

I want for each level of faith I climb to to help me become more steadfast in whom God is. Help me to be unmoved in each level when things arise, cause they will arise. To be in full confident faith that no matter what has arose that God is with me and He will help see me though it all.

This is an anchoring for my faith. To rest my soul against the chief cornerstone and when life comes crashing in waves I am firm and unmoved by the truth of who God is and all the word of God proclaims.

When life isn’t crashing and peace is there I can be assured I won’t drift away from Him, for in peaceful times He wants to know we still need Him and not become self-sufficient.

In the calm or in the storm I need God. At times with every breathe of every moment. I am not perfect in it and won’t be, but I can and am working to be better at becoming steadfast in the faith.

~Cynthia 😍

Take My Hand

Your only alone if you view your life as such!

Being a single I had battled for the longest time of being alone, remaining alone, ending up alone.

But the truth was and has remained I am never alone! Alone is just a feeling a feeling that is contrary to truth. When I am feel alone I can call out to the one close to me and that may be God at the moment or may be even my leader that loves and cares what we are going through and shows unending compassion for what we face.

When our feelings tell us we are alone we must find out why that feeling came up. Is it showing me some lack from my childhood, does it reveal an inner issue of lust, does it reveal a void that we try to fill with everything but God. It could be any of these things and more.

Its a work to feel the feeling, discover why and then begin to work to discharge the feeling and renew to a place where perspective can change. Reality can begin to be real and allow God, a leader, a Godly friend that exercises wisdom to come and take our hand in life, in the trial, in the battle to show you that your not as alone as you thought you were.

Well, that is how God has been working within me about it. In prior posts I have mention where I made Men idols and put them in my voids to replace God, but when God removed them it showed me where I was really at. That was in very desperate need of the God love to fill me up in my soul that no man could fill as humanity has limits without the power of God working inside the person.

Life knowing that I am not alone, will not end up alone has become such a lifted weight that enjoying life is well a joy. I am able to be content where I am knowing that with God and my God given leaders I am surely not alone.

~Love Life~Live Life~ 😍

~Cynthia 😉