Corona Virus and Quarantine Slowed Down The World
I have come to realize that when I allow people into my life, I become to dependent on their need of me. This slowing down has really brought this reality to the surface of my existence.
Being an essential worker and still working through the pandemic and more work being placed on my shoulders at work that has been seen as a reason to not need me in areas any longer. So in a sense the work I used to do was outsourced to another to complete in fear that my overwhelm at work wouldn’t be able to withstand critique.
When countless times in the past it was explicitly stated by me that that work wasn’t burdensome. So assumption has been on the scene that I couldn’t handle one more thing. I love how people think for me, but you better not even think of thinking for them.
At this point I need to evaluate who I have become dependent on and why I have done such, to then begin to work on building myself to where; as I am replaced it wont be so heart wrenching.
This life during this pandemic has not been all sugar and spice. There are times I question my faith and ask whats the point any more. Only to realize its only myself and dealing with humanity that brings on those pondering questions. God doesn’t change – people do! This last few months have been like the 8th circle of hell. To be perfectly honest, I am tired of fighting!
I have some changing myself to do at this point and learning how to keep fighting against all odds when folks tell you that your beyond help!
When you fall from Grace, look up to see who is standing over you saying “i told you so”…
I hope everyone is doing way better at this then I am..