Delight

Take delight and joy in the love of God in my season of singleness!

To be honest I conformed to the world and listen to what its message was in regards to singleness. That if your of a certain age and still single you better get out there and make some moves or you may remain single.

I chased men, asked them out, built friendships in motive of looking to fulfill my longings to remove the singleness status and conform to this world.

You know what happened with them all? They all ended in disaster and heartbreak on my part. The motives I had in it was all wrong.

When God intervened in a huge blessing type way to remove the last one it removed distraction and He could begin to work on me and why I kept conforming to the world.

He began to show me those issues I have blogged about already and the latest he has shown me was that I back burnered the Love of God for the Love of Men.

God is a jealous God!

He saw I put that man up as an idol and made him a God in my view. Cause as my Pastor told me if they were not made a God in my view then when they left I would not have felt empty and like I couldn’t go on with life.

He is showing me that I forsook my first love for another and that is in error on my part.

Repentance and genuine heartfelt broken repentance has come to say God I am so sorry I replaced you for another.

God knows that if this goes undealt with I will keep repeating the same pattern of putting another above Him. He proclaims over and over seek me first and don’t forsake your 1st love. This is Gods order of things.

Listening to the world I bypassed His instruction and listen to the wrong directions that lead to distruction. These cycles and issues require me to do some work within to keep from going down those same roads.

Taking my delight in His love for me. Thanking Him for the God given people he has given me. Praising him for the Godly leadership that is before me to help me to see my inner issues and begin to mature me in those areas as a believer and conforming to Gods way and shedding the worlds way.

God is my portion! He sent a man to die for me when I didn’t deserve it to forgive my sins. He unconditionally loves me even when I fail like a good father he helps me get up and try again.

Allowing that love to fill me up so I can show it to others is what He is about. Love is the greatest command. Love covers a multitude of sin. Love is Patient, kind, gentle, unboasting, and confident in the eternalness of His love when human love has its limits.

When God see’s I am firm in Him and his love and that he keeps proper place of first in time he will send a man after Gods heart. He will do it, not me! That was the missing component, I moved ahead of God.

So, for now yes my season of singleness has purpose and that is taking delight in whom God is and that is a loving Father and learning who I am deeply on the inside and loving me! Love is taken in with self first and filled up then overflow comes as love grows.

~Love Life~Live Life~ 😍

~Cynthia πŸ˜‰

Love Affair Pt 1

Sounds scandalous right!!

The love affair I am beginning is well loving myself.

I have been on a journey of self discovery for a few months now. Its been a journey to say the least. Even my writing these blogs have helped me discover hidden parts of me.

But, in actuality the self discovery began with my church teaching us about self deception, knowing our truth, loving our truth no matter what it looks like. It was this that really began to set this all in motion.

I am learning to love myself beyond all the issues in my soul that has surfaced the abandonment, rejection, comparison, acceptance, fear, doubt, worry, anxiety and depression.

Learning to work through those issues to come to a level of healing. Learning that those issues don’t define me they are part of me but they will be learned of to take control of and manage them. Learning that just because I have issues is no reason to reject myself as I have been doing.

Everyone has issues of some kind I have also learned. Like me they hide the real you, they hide the issue, hide that all is perfect and well. But, when the real test comes thats when the guard is let down and the issues are revealed. Least thats how it has been for me, the test would come and show where I was at.

I am also learning that my love has limits as to why when I see I have issues I reject even myself. This is when the fruit of the spirit of love has had to come in the more. To pull on Gods eternal love for me.

To know even in my mess God still extends grace and mercy to me to work on my short comings and be healed amd walk free from them and to help others like me at some point overcome.

Will I ever be fully free from my issues? Maybe in level as healing happens. Other issues within will require management on my part.

May I keep walking this journey day by day to love myself knowing by Faith God does no matter what.

~Love Life~ Live Life~ 😍

~Cynthia πŸ˜‰

Walk in the park!

Adventure is always calling!

Had the pleasure of goin to a park on Saturday, it was a bit change of the normal, but fun was had. Took my sunday school kids out to celebrate one if their birthdays.

We got to the park had lunch together and they ran off to go play. Other kids were there and others were going to have a birthday gathering also.

We walked out on the pier, saw some small schools of fish, saw some bigger fish jump, then play play play on all the park structures. They ran, they laughed and made other friends with kids at the park.

As time passed on we left went to another location then after time left there and went for ice cream. So, back to the park we went. This time after they got goin with all the ice cream in them I joined in on the fun.

I climbed up on one of the structures with them and they had a two seater slide. I sat down with one beside me and we slid down. Oh how it amped in excitement from there. I would hear “Miss Cynthia its my turn to slide with you” so I would hurry up the structure and slide with my next kid awaiting their turn to slide with me.

It was so much fun as if recapturing my youth going along with the children. There was a single slide very tall next to the two seater one. I said come on kids line up and we will have a sunday school train. Shouts of “yay”, “where are my shoes”, “wait for me” and “come on guys”, all burst from their lil bodies in that moment.

We all lined up the birthday kid leading the way, then me and the other kids one by one we all came down in a line. We packed up the day and to be sure in one lil burst it was, “oh do we have to go home”, “Miss Cynthia your the best”, “can we play a lil longer”, “ohhhhk”.

~Love Life ~ Live Life ~ 😍

~Cynthia πŸ˜‰

#walk #park #butterfly #timewithchildren