Who am I?

Have we not stopped and pondered the big life questions from time to time?

I know I have and often if not careful and send myself into a tail spin just mulling those huge questions over and over and over!

I haven’t blogged in a while as I stopped to get my book out, which is now available on amazon.com, even now that it is out the big questions come even more.

Does your message have any impact?

Is what you hoped your writing to be is it that?

What makes your story special?

Well, I had to come to this conclusion. My story has a set audience and those meant to find it will and it will greatly impact thier life!

My book and my story is multifaceted and not just one target area of change in my physical, but also a change in my spiritual.

I have had to dig down deep and pull from the roots of faith to realize I am a daughter of destiny and purpose. The process and journey that I am on is preordained and its up to me by faith to walk it out!

I tell you what though, leaps of faith are scary at times! I chose to put my story out there for the world that was a big leap for me! As I sat there finilizing everything and the button of “click to publish” was waiting to be pressed I had a moment of doubt flood me. I reached out to my life coach and asked should I really press this button?

Withour any hesitation at all she said ro me yes you should! I sat on edge for a few days waiting for it to come back approved for publish and available online! When it did go live it was one of the most joyful, tearfilled times of my life!

With that one successfully completed I have begun to work on my next book. I look forward to one day hearing the impact my writings have had on people.

Cynthia πŸ’

Wait

There is a set time for all things…

Have you found yourself like I have at times wishing you were at the drive thru of life. We roll up to the speaker box, make our request known to progress to the next point at this drive thru to pay and receive our request. Then the attendent may either hand you your request or ask you to pull forward to wait for it.

Most times when requests are made known to God we have a time of waiting to receive them. As I was counceled on once that God hears the request when its made, then there is a prepararion time from when the request was made until the time in which it appears.

We all are waiting on different things. It could be waiting for a job, waiting for a pay raise, a car repair, a spouse, a home of your own, etc. It is what we do in the waiting that makes all the difference.

As its been said by many that waiting is not the act of not doing nothing. Waiting is the time in which we can be most productive.

In the waiting we can grow in the gifts, talents and abilities God has instilled in us. Learn a new ability like an instrument or language. Begin to grow in character and integrity and mature in places in your personal life.

But if we hope for what we do not see, with perseverance we wait eagerly for it.
Romans 8:25 NASB

While we do these things it gets us out of focusing on what we requested and seeking just the hand of God, to seeking His face and His heart. He wants us to eagerly wait for things from Him in patience with the way He goes about bringing it to be.

We live in a time and world where yes even I got caught up in instant gratification. I asked and I want it now kind of thinking. When God says ok my child I hear your request, I check my will for your life and now you must be prepared to handle what you ask for, before I bring it to pass.

Waiting can be portrayed as something daunting, when in reality and from the God perspective it will forever be always worth it.

Wait patiently for all you ask for from God. He has a way to reveal to you if what you ask is in the plan for your life. Trust Him, have faith in the timing of God.

Facebook Instagram

~Cynthia 😍

Now that I have asked, now prepare!

We are to prepare for what we pray for!

In my time as it has been if singlehood it has provided me time to pray and seek the Lord and its a great time to spend with my Savior. Developing that true and lasting relationship with communication and worshipping his majesty, thanking him for his goodness, grace and mercy in thanksgiving. To study and delve into his guide book for all things concerning life to navigate the path here on the earth.

In times past though I hated continuing to remain single. It was as if my mind decided to name it a plague or something. But when God got hold of me through my wonderful Pastor Juanita Gibbs to show me in reality it is a blessing and a prepatory time was revolutuonary for me. It held begin to reshape my thinking on the whole thing.

Later, as time has gone on she has helped me tackle some wring stronhild thinking that I have had about it and to begin to bring healing to places from damage in my soul from my past, how I have lived this life that seriously needed attention as I had tried for so long to put a man in those places and always ended up hurt and the more empty due to the contents of my soul.

Her book up above(which can be purchased on Amazon) has helped me have a paradigm shift to loose fear, doubt and worry and begin to have faith, hope and trust in God that in time He provides whats needed. Where I had thought it may just bot happen for me and that thought is not in line with the word of God. So it is to he captured when comes and cast down (2 Corin 10:4-5).

Freedom from old stuff is a process and it takes time. As to why the word of God is the best guide book to have in this life as it touches all subjects including relationships. Her book has helped me begin to shift my mind and see myself as a winner in the faith and trust in God and His timing.

These books below are others that I have read in time past before going to the church that has so wonderfully aided me in my life far more than theae books as my lraders know me and my battles and issues as they have taught the best knowledge is your own personal experiance and gaining wisdom from those who know you personally to help naviagte the journey.

In no particular order:

This book is great for understand yourself and how you commincate in showing/displaying love to those in your life.

This book mainly focuses on enjoying single life! I passed my copy on to encourage other single sisters, but God replaced the copy when He sent me a leader in my Pastor who tells me the same thing. Enjoy, live, focus on God, walk in my purpose and his will. She is my book of wisdom since the others fully cannot relate to me as she can relate me to my story and prepare me.

This book was pretty much a reinforcement to my Pastors councel to trust God. As this spoke about divine timing and God doing the work to bring about His will and plans for my life.

This book expounded on Ruths story. She focused on her purpose with Noami and Boaz found her. Our bishop has spoke on her story in times to wait to be found by him as we are about our Fathers business. To stop falling for the words of a Bozo (lol) but wait while God works. Wait patiently with good attitude.

This book also reinforced the concept of time and touched on boundaries and enlightened that if you have things going on in your life you may not need to be in a relationship where we need wait and get healing first just as my Pastor focuses on with us. Heal the inner and if its Gods will He will bring things to pass.

This one is a premartial counceling book. That focuses on reflecting marriage as marriage of christ and the church as to which that is what earthly union should reflect when 2 born again believers come together.

This book opened up more the concept from the prior book, but showed more the difficulty and challenges in union on one flesh. As my pastor has taught us that 2 becoming one is an undertaking of understanding, forgiveness, and unconditional love to not quit when things get hard, but to keep at it.

This one I have not read, but I have read the book Boundaries just not this targeted area. But my Pastor has been instilling in me boundaries are very important in all kinds of relationships.

I so love my church Reformation Developmental Center where they speak on practical wisdom tips as well as full depth of the word of God to bring us insight into all things in this life.

~Love Life~Live Life~😍

~Cynthia πŸ˜‰

Waiting Power

There is power found in waiting which brings about growth!

There is one things to say that when your single and you desire a relationship that God will test your heart and find out where He stand with you all the while still promising things unseen.

Well He has with me anyway. Just like the children of Isreal when he took them from bondage of slavery to the egyptians and into the wilderness. He said to them worship me the one true God who removed you from captivity and is taking you to a land flowing with milk and honey.

What happens next after they were saved by God and given the promise, the test. Where they will gonna worship God for all he had just done or worship the promise. He put them in the wilderness to find they worshipped the promise of land with milk and honey over him so they grumbled and complained. An eleven day journey took 40 years.

Its the same way today with some of us, but I will focus on myself mainly. I was saved by grace given new spiritual life, I was saved by mercy and given new life in the natural, he set me free and gave promise and now in the wilderness I have seen where I worshipped the promise over the God who saved me. He has(is) tested(ing) my heart.

I have added on time to my journey by not being patient and going by what the world says over allowing my process to happen. The wilderness reveals who we really are my Pastor just brought out to us not long ago.

And boy oh boy my wilderness has showed me that I have got perspective in error. My perspective was worship Gods hand and the promise.

I am after all a child of God right and He will come through for me! That statement is loaded with pride as if God owed me something when in reality I owe God my life and service.

The power in my waiting is allowing my process to happen, growing me in areas that need to be developed in before the promise. To cause my spiritual walk to be stronger, my soul to not rule my every move but be under subjection to the word of God. To understand God wants me to keep him first in my life and to love him with all of myself as he loves me so eternally and uncondtionally.

The power of my wait is not attaining the promise but to be the best woman of God for Him and His glory until such time He sends someone to walk the journey of faith with me. There is fullness and completeness in God that satisfies like nothing else so even if the promise doesn’t come I have a great and perfect love with God and Jesus and the Holy spirit.

~Love Life~Live Life~ 😍

~Cynthia πŸ˜‰

Single and Happy

There is a time and season for all things!

It is widely popular now that if your not with someone then there has to be something wrong with you.

Is there something wrong with me?

I am single and have been a very long time!

Does that make my humanity any less than someone involved with someone?

The world and times would say yes there is something wrong with me. In some cases yes the church world would also! Yes! I said it the church also!

Not to many in the area I reside have singles geared programs, teachings on how to be am effective single, being a single christian and devoting your time to God in that season.

It wasn’t until I started going to Reformation Developmental Center pastored by Juanita Gibbs where she began to open up my world to me that my time of singleness is a gift to be treasured.

I am free to serve the kingdom as much as I can without distractions. I dont have to subject my earnings to anyone else before I give to the kingdom. I don’t have to subject my body but to God in this time when I want to fast and such.

Yes, I admit being single and remaining as such has gotten me down in the past. I have allowed man made ideas, holidays and the like to tell me what I am suppose to be as a 30ish single.

But what does God say about it as His truth trumps the ideals of men. God says seek me with your whole heart. Seek me first, keep me first, surrender everything to me. That is Gods order and design.

As I mentioned in my last singles post by doing the seeking and work on my own that was my self will not Gods will. He killed every plan that was not of his plan and purposes. Thank God He did too.

My time of singleness is to work on my inner life to have my soul prosper. To correct the inner issues, to heal the inner wounds, to subject myself to the God who knows whats best for me. He proclaims His ways are higher, his thoughts are higher.

Man oh man are they ever. Had God not stepped in and stopped my plans how much heartache and pain in the long run has he saved me from and from inflicting on another.

My soul issues could and have done serious damage left unattended. I am learning slowly to love life as a single, give my all to God, serve him in my current purpose and seek him and keep him first.

God says keep humble and at the proper time exultation will come for them who remain humble. Humble left the building on me the other day and seeing it deeply grieves me. Pride genuinley comes before the fall.

When you fall, fall and look at why you fell then see why you fell and learn from it to keep from repeating it. Only the meek can inherit the earth as the earth is His and the fullness there of and having a level of pride negates the capacity of God to show himself as He knows he wont be glorified.

Humble will glorify God over self. These are just things that I am learning and discovering about myself in my time now without distractions as I am finding contentmemt and trust slowly as it comes to my relationship with God.

As I allow Him into my life he is filling me with himself and His truth to be free from old bondage, be healed from past woundings, and to live a life that glorfies him over any thing and everything I can or have done.

My Pastor who has helped me embrace my singleness and learn about myself in this time. She does also teach on the fundamentals of relationships and the dynamics of it all.

Please don’t misunderstand these posting either of a bitter or hatefilled singlehood. No this is just an enlightenment on my journey.

Every single persons journey is different. I am just expressing and showing that you can find happiness in the status that is so widely not popular to have.

~Love Life~ Live Life~ 😍

~Cynthia πŸ˜‰

Delight

Take delight and joy in the love of God in my season of singleness!

To be honest I conformed to the world and listen to what its message was in regards to singleness. That if your of a certain age and still single you better get out there and make some moves or you may remain single.

I chased men, asked them out, built friendships in motive of looking to fulfill my longings to remove the singleness status and conform to this world.

You know what happened with them all? They all ended in disaster and heartbreak on my part. The motives I had in it was all wrong.

When God intervened in a huge blessing type way to remove the last one it removed distraction and He could begin to work on me and why I kept conforming to the world.

He began to show me those issues I have blogged about already and the latest he has shown me was that I back burnered the Love of God for the Love of Men.

God is a jealous God!

He saw I put that man up as an idol and made him a God in my view. Cause as my Pastor told me if they were not made a God in my view then when they left I would not have felt empty and like I couldn’t go on with life.

He is showing me that I forsook my first love for another and that is in error on my part.

Repentance and genuine heartfelt broken repentance has come to say God I am so sorry I replaced you for another.

God knows that if this goes undealt with I will keep repeating the same pattern of putting another above Him. He proclaims over and over seek me first and don’t forsake your 1st love. This is Gods order of things.

Listening to the world I bypassed His instruction and listen to the wrong directions that lead to distruction. These cycles and issues require me to do some work within to keep from going down those same roads.

Taking my delight in His love for me. Thanking Him for the God given people he has given me. Praising him for the Godly leadership that is before me to help me to see my inner issues and begin to mature me in those areas as a believer and conforming to Gods way and shedding the worlds way.

God is my portion! He sent a man to die for me when I didn’t deserve it to forgive my sins. He unconditionally loves me even when I fail like a good father he helps me get up and try again.

Allowing that love to fill me up so I can show it to others is what He is about. Love is the greatest command. Love covers a multitude of sin. Love is Patient, kind, gentle, unboasting, and confident in the eternalness of His love when human love has its limits.

When God see’s I am firm in Him and his love and that he keeps proper place of first in time he will send a man after Gods heart. He will do it, not me! That was the missing component, I moved ahead of God.

So, for now yes my season of singleness has purpose and that is taking delight in whom God is and that is a loving Father and learning who I am deeply on the inside and loving me! Love is taken in with self first and filled up then overflow comes as love grows.

~Love Life~Live Life~ 😍

~Cynthia πŸ˜‰

Love Affair Pt 3 (Final installment)

The scandal continues!!

Well ya’ll in these months of coming to learn to love myself and the true word of God. The affair branches out one last time to include loving God for who He is!

Yes loving God just for who He is in my life! Learning to worship him in spirit and in truth and not just worship to get things.

Yes!! I confess I have only loved God at times for what I saw He can do for me. Treating God as a lucky charm, or a genie in a bottle as if he was some idol image of a God who would just give me whatever I want when I asked it of him. Boy has he proven time and time again that honey if what you ask for isn’t of me it will not come for you!

If it is of God it could be delayed as to if I serve or worship Him(his hands) merely to get from him then when I get will I abandon the faith? He knows our heart and the hidden intentions even if we ourself don’t see it or even want to admit it.

I am seeing that God is a good good father and yes withholds no good thing from us. But, if he does withhold or delay it is because we need character growth and stability in our now before any new can come in more of the blessings. Seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness then all these things will be added unto you. God has an established order of thing and its reveal to us in His word.

He will block or cause to die anything that is outside of his will and yes it will hurt. Especially if it is a self work or faction of the flesh.

But its a necessary death to go into greater. God wants me to grow in patience and many other fruits of the Spirit. Taking rest in who He is and His provision. I am growing in my just love for Him as to worship in spirit and truth I must trust his plan and purposes. He knows exaclty where I am, He knows my trials, He knows my needs and He is with me and those facts of his goodness alone are a comfort to a soul that has searched for comfort and security in a world that is perishing over the eternalness of the Father and His kingdom.

Day by day I try lean on the fact He had me more secure than anything of this world could ever to keep me and slowly begin to love him more and more and his goodness begins to flow as a trickle of a stream of water in the beginning phases.

He knows I need to love hin with all my heart, soul, mind and strength for just who He is and that is an amazing Abba Father.

The journey may it just get sweeter day by day as I turn toward truth and His will and way of living.

~Love Life~Live Life~😍

~Cynthia πŸ˜‰

Secret Life!

Patience stepped out! Impatience took her place and hooked up with fear.

I am slowly seeing that by not being patient I have walked in much impatience and that had joined with fear to create a life in me.

Impatience and fear living within my soul has kept me from growing and accepting the reality of things at times. Where had I been more patient things may be different in the long run. But, now that I see them and recognize where I am now I can begin to work to grow in it.

Impatience (haste) had been a common thing in my life. Its how ai am inherintly and due to my own mindsets living in a world built on instand gratification that we got to have it now!

When in God I am seeing that He just like any good parent will make you wait for things. Not that God will withhold any good thing from us, but he knows how I am and that if I cannot handle the full measure of my life now? Then how can He give me things I want that may bring more responsibility in the long run if given before time.

God wants me to grow in patience with God, myself, and then let ut spill to others. I have to be the first partaker of the patience growing in my life and that is causing trust in God to grow. I trust that all He is doing in my life is for my good. He is developing my character and integrity, as well as, shaping the gifts He placed within me to bring Him glory.

Have I been perfect or excellent in my growing?

I can honestly say!

HECK NO!!

I have been inwardly offended, got attitude, stubborn, strong self-willed and blind at times. But, when the dust settles I can see the wrong stronghold I was trying to defend to keep. I can see where I need to grow in my fruits to learn to retrain me to walk in by the spirit in my day to day life to stop walking in my flesh limitation, but in Gods eternalness of the spirit.

Slowly as I grow more in patiencr ther fruit that is, I am praying fear takes itself and moves on in a layer of my life.

~Love Life~ Live Life~ 😍

~Cynthia πŸ˜‰