Take My Hand

Your only alone if you view your life as such!

Being a single I had battled for the longest time of being alone, remaining alone, ending up alone.

But the truth was and has remained I am never alone! Alone is just a feeling a feeling that is contrary to truth. When I am feel alone I can call out to the one close to me and that may be God at the moment or may be even my leader that loves and cares what we are going through and shows unending compassion for what we face.

When our feelings tell us we are alone we must find out why that feeling came up. Is it showing me some lack from my childhood, does it reveal an inner issue of lust, does it reveal a void that we try to fill with everything but God. It could be any of these things and more.

Its a work to feel the feeling, discover why and then begin to work to discharge the feeling and renew to a place where perspective can change. Reality can begin to be real and allow God, a leader, a Godly friend that exercises wisdom to come and take our hand in life, in the trial, in the battle to show you that your not as alone as you thought you were.

Well, that is how God has been working within me about it. In prior posts I have mention where I made Men idols and put them in my voids to replace God, but when God removed them it showed me where I was really at. That was in very desperate need of the God love to fill me up in my soul that no man could fill as humanity has limits without the power of God working inside the person.

Life knowing that I am not alone, will not end up alone has become such a lifted weight that enjoying life is well a joy. I am able to be content where I am knowing that with God and my God given leaders I am surely not alone.

~Love Life~Live Life~ 😍

~Cynthia πŸ˜‰

Now that I have asked, now prepare!

We are to prepare for what we pray for!

In my time as it has been if singlehood it has provided me time to pray and seek the Lord and its a great time to spend with my Savior. Developing that true and lasting relationship with communication and worshipping his majesty, thanking him for his goodness, grace and mercy in thanksgiving. To study and delve into his guide book for all things concerning life to navigate the path here on the earth.

In times past though I hated continuing to remain single. It was as if my mind decided to name it a plague or something. But when God got hold of me through my wonderful Pastor Juanita Gibbs to show me in reality it is a blessing and a prepatory time was revolutuonary for me. It held begin to reshape my thinking on the whole thing.

Later, as time has gone on she has helped me tackle some wring stronhild thinking that I have had about it and to begin to bring healing to places from damage in my soul from my past, how I have lived this life that seriously needed attention as I had tried for so long to put a man in those places and always ended up hurt and the more empty due to the contents of my soul.

Her book up above(which can be purchased on Amazon) has helped me have a paradigm shift to loose fear, doubt and worry and begin to have faith, hope and trust in God that in time He provides whats needed. Where I had thought it may just bot happen for me and that thought is not in line with the word of God. So it is to he captured when comes and cast down (2 Corin 10:4-5).

Freedom from old stuff is a process and it takes time. As to why the word of God is the best guide book to have in this life as it touches all subjects including relationships. Her book has helped me begin to shift my mind and see myself as a winner in the faith and trust in God and His timing.

These books below are others that I have read in time past before going to the church that has so wonderfully aided me in my life far more than theae books as my lraders know me and my battles and issues as they have taught the best knowledge is your own personal experiance and gaining wisdom from those who know you personally to help naviagte the journey.

In no particular order:

This book is great for understand yourself and how you commincate in showing/displaying love to those in your life.

This book mainly focuses on enjoying single life! I passed my copy on to encourage other single sisters, but God replaced the copy when He sent me a leader in my Pastor who tells me the same thing. Enjoy, live, focus on God, walk in my purpose and his will. She is my book of wisdom since the others fully cannot relate to me as she can relate me to my story and prepare me.

This book was pretty much a reinforcement to my Pastors councel to trust God. As this spoke about divine timing and God doing the work to bring about His will and plans for my life.

This book expounded on Ruths story. She focused on her purpose with Noami and Boaz found her. Our bishop has spoke on her story in times to wait to be found by him as we are about our Fathers business. To stop falling for the words of a Bozo (lol) but wait while God works. Wait patiently with good attitude.

This book also reinforced the concept of time and touched on boundaries and enlightened that if you have things going on in your life you may not need to be in a relationship where we need wait and get healing first just as my Pastor focuses on with us. Heal the inner and if its Gods will He will bring things to pass.

This one is a premartial counceling book. That focuses on reflecting marriage as marriage of christ and the church as to which that is what earthly union should reflect when 2 born again believers come together.

This book opened up more the concept from the prior book, but showed more the difficulty and challenges in union on one flesh. As my pastor has taught us that 2 becoming one is an undertaking of understanding, forgiveness, and unconditional love to not quit when things get hard, but to keep at it.

This one I have not read, but I have read the book Boundaries just not this targeted area. But my Pastor has been instilling in me boundaries are very important in all kinds of relationships.

I so love my church Reformation Developmental Center where they speak on practical wisdom tips as well as full depth of the word of God to bring us insight into all things in this life.

~Love Life~Live Life~😍

~Cynthia πŸ˜‰

Single and Happy

There is a time and season for all things!

It is widely popular now that if your not with someone then there has to be something wrong with you.

Is there something wrong with me?

I am single and have been a very long time!

Does that make my humanity any less than someone involved with someone?

The world and times would say yes there is something wrong with me. In some cases yes the church world would also! Yes! I said it the church also!

Not to many in the area I reside have singles geared programs, teachings on how to be am effective single, being a single christian and devoting your time to God in that season.

It wasn’t until I started going to Reformation Developmental Center pastored by Juanita Gibbs where she began to open up my world to me that my time of singleness is a gift to be treasured.

I am free to serve the kingdom as much as I can without distractions. I dont have to subject my earnings to anyone else before I give to the kingdom. I don’t have to subject my body but to God in this time when I want to fast and such.

Yes, I admit being single and remaining as such has gotten me down in the past. I have allowed man made ideas, holidays and the like to tell me what I am suppose to be as a 30ish single.

But what does God say about it as His truth trumps the ideals of men. God says seek me with your whole heart. Seek me first, keep me first, surrender everything to me. That is Gods order and design.

As I mentioned in my last singles post by doing the seeking and work on my own that was my self will not Gods will. He killed every plan that was not of his plan and purposes. Thank God He did too.

My time of singleness is to work on my inner life to have my soul prosper. To correct the inner issues, to heal the inner wounds, to subject myself to the God who knows whats best for me. He proclaims His ways are higher, his thoughts are higher.

Man oh man are they ever. Had God not stepped in and stopped my plans how much heartache and pain in the long run has he saved me from and from inflicting on another.

My soul issues could and have done serious damage left unattended. I am learning slowly to love life as a single, give my all to God, serve him in my current purpose and seek him and keep him first.

God says keep humble and at the proper time exultation will come for them who remain humble. Humble left the building on me the other day and seeing it deeply grieves me. Pride genuinley comes before the fall.

When you fall, fall and look at why you fell then see why you fell and learn from it to keep from repeating it. Only the meek can inherit the earth as the earth is His and the fullness there of and having a level of pride negates the capacity of God to show himself as He knows he wont be glorified.

Humble will glorify God over self. These are just things that I am learning and discovering about myself in my time now without distractions as I am finding contentmemt and trust slowly as it comes to my relationship with God.

As I allow Him into my life he is filling me with himself and His truth to be free from old bondage, be healed from past woundings, and to live a life that glorfies him over any thing and everything I can or have done.

My Pastor who has helped me embrace my singleness and learn about myself in this time. She does also teach on the fundamentals of relationships and the dynamics of it all.

Please don’t misunderstand these posting either of a bitter or hatefilled singlehood. No this is just an enlightenment on my journey.

Every single persons journey is different. I am just expressing and showing that you can find happiness in the status that is so widely not popular to have.

~Love Life~ Live Life~ 😍

~Cynthia πŸ˜‰

Delight

Take delight and joy in the love of God in my season of singleness!

To be honest I conformed to the world and listen to what its message was in regards to singleness. That if your of a certain age and still single you better get out there and make some moves or you may remain single.

I chased men, asked them out, built friendships in motive of looking to fulfill my longings to remove the singleness status and conform to this world.

You know what happened with them all? They all ended in disaster and heartbreak on my part. The motives I had in it was all wrong.

When God intervened in a huge blessing type way to remove the last one it removed distraction and He could begin to work on me and why I kept conforming to the world.

He began to show me those issues I have blogged about already and the latest he has shown me was that I back burnered the Love of God for the Love of Men.

God is a jealous God!

He saw I put that man up as an idol and made him a God in my view. Cause as my Pastor told me if they were not made a God in my view then when they left I would not have felt empty and like I couldn’t go on with life.

He is showing me that I forsook my first love for another and that is in error on my part.

Repentance and genuine heartfelt broken repentance has come to say God I am so sorry I replaced you for another.

God knows that if this goes undealt with I will keep repeating the same pattern of putting another above Him. He proclaims over and over seek me first and don’t forsake your 1st love. This is Gods order of things.

Listening to the world I bypassed His instruction and listen to the wrong directions that lead to distruction. These cycles and issues require me to do some work within to keep from going down those same roads.

Taking my delight in His love for me. Thanking Him for the God given people he has given me. Praising him for the Godly leadership that is before me to help me to see my inner issues and begin to mature me in those areas as a believer and conforming to Gods way and shedding the worlds way.

God is my portion! He sent a man to die for me when I didn’t deserve it to forgive my sins. He unconditionally loves me even when I fail like a good father he helps me get up and try again.

Allowing that love to fill me up so I can show it to others is what He is about. Love is the greatest command. Love covers a multitude of sin. Love is Patient, kind, gentle, unboasting, and confident in the eternalness of His love when human love has its limits.

When God see’s I am firm in Him and his love and that he keeps proper place of first in time he will send a man after Gods heart. He will do it, not me! That was the missing component, I moved ahead of God.

So, for now yes my season of singleness has purpose and that is taking delight in whom God is and that is a loving Father and learning who I am deeply on the inside and loving me! Love is taken in with self first and filled up then overflow comes as love grows.

~Love Life~Live Life~ 😍

~Cynthia πŸ˜‰

F.O.M.O to Y.O.L.O

Talking in abbreviations…LOL

We live in a world of fast movement, instant gratification, inpatience, haste. But, when the unexpected wait, delay, etc happens we get all in a tizzy. Well, I know I have in those moments.

We even get that way with God we get full of pride and anger with God when He don’t answer us when the prayer drops as if He owes us our prayer request. When the reality of the matter of delay in answer is that He wants us to grow!

But, what happen for me was that when prayers haven’t been answered I began to loose faith and trust that God even heard me, like my prayers hit a ceiling and not gone through. Thinking that I was bad aweful sinner and had done many bad things to not have Gods ear incline to my prayer and essentially this added to the walls I had built inside.

The stronghold of fear got more fortiefied and reinforced everytime I felt disappointed by God not answering my prayer.

I was coming home from the beach Saturday and flipping through the radio I heard a brief conversation and the radio person said to a caller I believe that they were batteling F.O.M.O. course that got my attention of what does that mean.

F.O.M.O = Fear of missing out

When I heard that a message broken down God began to speak to me in my spirit. Some of it is flowing out in this blog. Because of my walls, my overly prudent nature of living in future and not my present, and inpatience, that fear has been a battle to overcome even in small layers.

In recent, I have been working on my thought life to begin to shift my paradigm. I had in a month been working hard on the thought realm of my mind. Unaware things had begun to shift within to bring about a place of gaining positive over the vastly negative I have lived.

When the message on radio came it was like that is how I have been living. I was so afraid of missing out that I didn’t live in my now. The radio person kept talking to whomever and or I turned radio off I heard Y.O.L.O. in my spirit.

Y.O.L.O = You only live once.

In my beginning to retrain my mind I had begun to shed a layer of fear. By using the word of God to negate the bad and think more positive. By doing this trust has begun to flow within reigniting belief and empowering me to exercising my measure of faith.

The budlings of new fruit are rising to the surface in my soul and as I keep at the work my soul will begin to prosper and then God can prosper me in other ways as I keep growing and developing. As I appreciate my now and live for my now time. Fear can flee for God dont give us a spirit of fear, but of Power, love and a sound mind

~Love Life ~ Live Life ~ 😍

~Cynthia πŸ˜‰

Status is not a final definition of life!!

Single, married, divorced, widowed, etc these “statuses” should NOT define the whole of a person!

Yes I am single!!!

So what?

Does that fully define my womanhood? Perhaps in the worldly mindset of if your single your seen as undesired and something wrong with you. Especially if SINGLE is your status into your 30s.

I am constantly asked by people close and total strangers alike are you married? Do you have children? When I reply NO that begins to issue a whole other level of questions. Don’t you want to get married and have children? YES! It just hasn’t happened for me yet! I will wait for Gods perfect timing for all things especially in the relationship regard.

Sorry to burst your bubble people but people no matter their age are human and have feelings and sometimes question can open up things unknowingly on the questioners part to the questionee. Why do we not take into consideration how people may feel when asked certain questions about a status.

Just because I have not modeled my life similar to that of the world, it does not mean I am a freak and that any and all like me should be banished from society and put on a deserted island some where. To live behind walls of a worldy defining status I have done for too long as it is. Single life is to be cherished for what it is.

I am free to go and do!

I am free to give to the kingdom!

I am free to serve the kingdom!

I am free until such time as God may promote me to a different status!

Feeling depressed or lonely based of a “status” has only take away from the joy I can experiance now in my freedom of doing all God has set my hands to do now. I have great support in this season of singleness in a true friend who is there for me no matter the hour, no matter what they have goin on, no matter whatever they are there when I need someone the most.

I am working on being the best version of myself and walking toward healing in areas as to why I remain single. This is part of Gods plan for now to get my inner workings healed, deliver and set free. So my “status” doesn’t fully define me! Its only a small part of me.

Please note: I write none of this for sympathy or pity! I write this to bring awareness for myself and other single sisters out there in the world.

I also write to encourage them, as well as, myself! Stay strong if your single! Do all your hands are set to in this time, better yourself, heal from hurts of broken relationships and wait on God while seeking His kingdom first! So can do the work while we rest on the promise and in time if its His will as we trust he can bring it to pass.

~Love Live ~ Live Life ~ 😍

~Cynthia πŸ˜‰