Personal Acceptance

Discovering How Fearfully & Wonderfully Made I Am!

The subtitle of this blog is one that is near and dear to me, as it is the subtitle to my book Beauty from Ashes that is available on amazon.com. See link below the image to shop!

I am a woman that has battled personal acceptance, low self-esteem, low self-worth, lack of self-care, and having an over all bad view of myself. It was a pivotal turning point in March 2016 when on a trip it was brought to my attention just how negative I spoke about myself. I, in myself had no self awareness of the fact that I was so deeply negative I was inwardly.

Watch over your heart with all diligence, For from it flows the springd of life.”

Proverbs 4:23 AMP

Every word from my lips dripped with disdain of life, existence, purpose and destiny. It revealed a bitterness of heart due to roots of lack of self-acceptance and self-love! I was asked at that time, why was I like I was. My answer outright was β€œwhat does it really matter” in a sarcastic tone. That no matter what I did or do it never made any difference.

It was then that grace and patience with understanding and compassion were extended to me to help begin to uproot bad things and cultivate a new way of being. This work has been ongoing and will continue as it is needful in becoming a better woman for life!

Your thoughts create your reality!

~Juanita Gibbs

40 Day Detox of Negative Thinking

Amazon

She began working with me in the key fundamentals of personal care, life care, home care, developing a healthier interior, then working on my self esteem and self love. Others in the past that may have tried to assist me didn’t extent long periods of grace to help me grow and develop the way my counselor has in these last three years.

It has taken this long to grow even a lil sprout of self-acceptance. I have made progress in being more positive and speaking with hope. Being I would pick apart everything about me from my looks, my weight, my hair color, and more. It was when I realized that I am running down Gods creation that I have had to work through that.

I have been walking through a phase of discovering who I am, learning how I am made and slowly embracing the facts and truths about me, then learning what I need to do to work on becoming a better woman. Its not been easy for me and it wont be easy to continue to change and grow.

Growth is pain!

Development is a journey!

But, what I can say is that no matter how offended I may get at the truth, I need it. No matter how sensitive I am emotionally, I need tough love. Yes the wounds are there! Yes the strongholds are there! But, they are within my power to take them down within myself and get the healing I need deeper.

My encouragement to you is this: If me as stubborn as I am and can be can change, heal, and get delivered, then take this as a sign that you can too. It takes steps, falling down, getting back up, taking steps again and often falling and getting back up in a cycle to keep working to bring about change to your life as I am working to in mine.

Thank you for reading if you reaching this point leave me a comment below! πŸ’

Cynthia πŸ’ž

Shop Amazon for my book and the other book mentioned above! Thank you for your support!

Love Affair Pt 3 (Final installment)

The scandal continues!!

Well ya’ll in these months of coming to learn to love myself and the true word of God. The affair branches out one last time to include loving God for who He is!

Yes loving God just for who He is in my life! Learning to worship him in spirit and in truth and not just worship to get things.

Yes!! I confess I have only loved God at times for what I saw He can do for me. Treating God as a lucky charm, or a genie in a bottle as if he was some idol image of a God who would just give me whatever I want when I asked it of him. Boy has he proven time and time again that honey if what you ask for isn’t of me it will not come for you!

If it is of God it could be delayed as to if I serve or worship Him(his hands) merely to get from him then when I get will I abandon the faith? He knows our heart and the hidden intentions even if we ourself don’t see it or even want to admit it.

I am seeing that God is a good good father and yes withholds no good thing from us. But, if he does withhold or delay it is because we need character growth and stability in our now before any new can come in more of the blessings. Seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness then all these things will be added unto you. God has an established order of thing and its reveal to us in His word.

He will block or cause to die anything that is outside of his will and yes it will hurt. Especially if it is a self work or faction of the flesh.

But its a necessary death to go into greater. God wants me to grow in patience and many other fruits of the Spirit. Taking rest in who He is and His provision. I am growing in my just love for Him as to worship in spirit and truth I must trust his plan and purposes. He knows exaclty where I am, He knows my trials, He knows my needs and He is with me and those facts of his goodness alone are a comfort to a soul that has searched for comfort and security in a world that is perishing over the eternalness of the Father and His kingdom.

Day by day I try lean on the fact He had me more secure than anything of this world could ever to keep me and slowly begin to love him more and more and his goodness begins to flow as a trickle of a stream of water in the beginning phases.

He knows I need to love hin with all my heart, soul, mind and strength for just who He is and that is an amazing Abba Father.

The journey may it just get sweeter day by day as I turn toward truth and His will and way of living.

~Love Life~Live Life~😍

~Cynthia πŸ˜‰

Rejections Ugly Monster!

Rejection and Abandonment continued…

I began to open up some about Rejection and Abandonment how these issues showed up in my life in ways. But today, I will talk about more of how those created voids within myself.

As a child I don’t recall feeling or hearing much in the lines of love and acceptance except for like highlight events of birthday, graduation etc. just major life events is when those things were expressed.

It wasn’t until I joined an inner life ministry that it was exposed to me that lack of love in formative years of growing up is a huge lack of soul nourishment. I was completley broken at that point in realizing I was deficient in my soul of key things needed in growing up.

So there in laid some of the rejection issues. So how did the abandonment come into play right? Well on at least three to four occasions my father walked in where we were as children and told us he was leaving us. Thats devistating no matter your age to hear a parent is leaving. This brought in abandonment and rejection all the more.

How do I overcome these deeply rooted issues with in? I had to first forgive as to not further hold this against my parents. Then I had to accept the reality of the situation of thats just how it was for me growing up. Then I have to strive to fill the nutrient void places within with the God love to work toward healing. Am I healed? No! Am I better than I was before these issues were revealed? To a degree yes! It will be a constant work to maintain in this life.

~Love Life ~ Live Life ~ 😍

~Cynthia πŸ˜‰

Huh? No way!

Personal acceptance can be a hard pill to swallow!

Embarking on this journey has brought about well let say much enlightenment.

I have begun to become aware of my true self. That is knowing myself by my temperments, the wounds in my soul, toxic strongholds that shaped in how I view things or perceive things and how I thought on things.

Which coming to understand all these things have helped me begin to love myself. I am unique in my own special way there is no other exactly like me, perhaps similar, but not fully the same as the life path, experiances, faith, etc.

I have learned so much about myself especially in understanding my temperments that there are good and bad (strengths and weaknesses) that I have been able to get help with by my Pastor and Life Coach, to begin to tackle the weaknesses to grow in them to not be so weak in them.

I have had to embrace that in one of my temps I am loyal/faithful which there for the weakness has come that I don’t outwardly express love well. So, by taping into the fruit of the spirit I am working to overcome my temperment short commings. To begin to show people I love and care for them. Life is to be lived and expressing love for those we care for, not just hidden inside for no one but self to know.

It was also in this self acceptance journey that I understand better why I am an ambivert. Its due to my temperment combinations working in me. That cause me to be both outgoing and an introvert. Which some just don’t understand. Which is fine as it is the wonderment of me.

I am embracing that I can be outgoing or introvert or commonly of people with both as mentioned before known as an ambivert.

Most are known as one or the other but I have both tendancies. There are some that understand the both tendancies of being outgoing or introverted, those people are amazing to have in life. They are patient and loving and accept that you either want to go out or need time alone.

Learning to love myself amd accept myself has had some challenges, but those are challenges worth taking to become a better person.

~ Love Life ~ Live Life ~ πŸ˜‰

~Cynthia πŸ˜‰

#Acceptance #self #love

How in the world is this gonna work?!?!

How now can I find a place of personal acceptance?

It all begins as my Pastor told me of knowing my full truth. Seeing all the good, bad, the ugly in me and not rejecting those things for they are who I truly am inside. I can hide them behind a mask or veil with others but for so long til they come peeping out around the corner to make themselve known.

Truth of myself had to pierce the veil that I had so cleverly constructed to blend into the world around me. One truth came it pierced the veil, more kept coming to tear it wide open to see more of the full truth that is well me. Was it pretty? To say the least, lets just say there are some big parts that still need work.

One by one and step by step as my Pastor tells me in councel so I can focus on achieving one development in an area at a time and not be all over working on pieces of all of them and not getting anywhere. Cause honestly before her I would be all over working on pieces of all the problems I saw needed addressing in me.

Pastor has referred to Shakepear’s famous quote of “To thine own self be true” it struck a new resonance within me as she brought it forth in a way to grow in my inner person. Once I am able to be fully honest with myself and true to myself it can then spill out in the world around me.

Instead of me becoming a camelion and blending in any longer I can know that deep within its ok to stand out and be different and the things I work to better within me can have a impact on the world around me.

I can, like she says, live from the inside out over what I have been doing of living from the outside in.

To be honest the taintedness of this world coming into my life has not been the greatest taking on of things. But, living from the inside out by aide of the spirit I can use Gods strength, righteousness and power to overcome the acceptance issue step by step and the journey has begun.

~Love Life ~Live Life ~ πŸ˜‰

~Cynthia πŸ˜‰

Note: Check out and follow my

β™‘ Pastor Juanita β™‘ blog at:

wholebodywellness365.wordpress.com

#Acceptance

Do you not see it?!?!

Self-Rejection is a very real problem!

My open door to personally not accept myself was wide open. This came from the comparison issues I have shared about in other blog posts.

I had developed a mindset that if I had a flaw that wasn’t accepted by someone close to me then it was my instinct to reject it and do anything to blend in better.

This caused me essentially to loose much of myself and blind me to my real inner issues that I need to work on in my soul.

I began to only know me through the eyes of others. Which in some cases were not so great opinions due to many things.

What God began to do in my life was begin to separate me from people for my own good. As I needed to discover myself and know the true meaning of appropraite self-love and knowing of His love through others that did remain.

Am I there to full personal acceptance? I can honestly say, No! But, what I will share is that daily I take a step closer toward personal acceptance. Gods view and opinion of me and my own self view are the confidence builders I am working toward attaining.

As, I have come to learn and accept its part of life that some will not accept me as a person and some will. I just have to trust God for the true people that will see me and appreciate me in fullness as I should them also.

Acceptance starts with self as no other but God through His son and the true people of God he brings into your life can help you and I build a foundation of confidence in Him.

Close the door to outside void fillers such as a man, woman, job, or hobby to fill the void in a soul like the true love of God in finding acceptance.

~Love Life ~ Live Life~ πŸ˜‰

~Cynthia

#Acceptance

Dysfunctional Marriage!

The worse thing in the world is the coming together of two toxic issues!

The marriage of comparison issues and acceptance issues became very aware to me as I began to detox the emotions, pain, memories, and finally expose root issues deep within my soul.

Comparison was a gateway to open myself up to more ways I could be destroyed by forces of darkness. I opened myself up to them unknowingly giving legal grounds to come and torture my mind.

As I saw I would never measure up to anyone else or that I didn’t fit the “ideal” mold of others I began to not accept myself. My own personal acceptance had become hinged off what others said, thought and if they wanted to be around me.

When it appeared that none accepted me I truly lost all acceptance for myself. For as long as I can remember this was how it has been for me, all the way back to school days. I was cordial to most but never close to anyone as I wasn’t fully accepted.

Even down the years when men came into my life I compared then didn’t feel accepted because of a flaw or my issue and I know they picked up the insecurity and kept me in the friend zone. Which later was Gods love sparing me from more pain and disappointment.

It wasn’t til most recent that my root issues are being allowed to come to the surface and I am dealing with them one on one. I have learned that comparison will cause me to never measure up to anyone other than myself. I have my life and path to take and they are different for all of us.

So, I am learning to control my comparison thoughts, as well as, being in a time of learning to fully accept me.

No one else’s acceptance of me can fill the void in my soul. I have to fill it up first with appropriate self love and Gods love through those He has given me in this life.

~Love Life ~ Live Life ~

~Cynthia πŸ˜‰

#Comparison #Acceptance