Incredibly Stressful Week

“When my anxious thoughts multiply within me, Your consolations delight my soul.”
‭‭Psalms‬ ‭94:19‬ ‭NASB

Learning to cope and manage my stress levels has been and is one of the most daunting and laborious tasks. I am far from having any great success in it as I am still so deeply learning the concepts of time management, being aware of my emotions, learning to step back and self-parent, learning when to reach out for counsel, and more…

On Saturday and Sunday after I blogged, I cleaned house, did laundry, grocery shopped and began mea prep, I successfully got a lasagna made that my dad (of whom I am a caregiver to) enjoyed. I made a large crockpot of spaghetti and got all the clothes put away, floors cleaned then my Post Covid fatigue hit me so hard like a ton of bricks before I could bake the lasagna and prep my lunches for the week. That it took an hour to recover to even wash the dishes before i had to stop to fight the tinnitus flair, sinus swelling flair and the body just not wanting to cooperate.

Youtube Lasagna

I did all this last weekend in the knowing that two days would be spent beating a many a road taking my dad to his first covid test that is now mandatory before any procedure, then taking him for breakfast, to then head a completely different direction to take a drug test, to then leave there to head to my current place of employment. That night I had to sketch out an entire day of a liquid diet for my father to follow as I would be at work and he would need to partake of the liquids I had acquired to have a successful procedure the next day. He called a few times in frustration wanting solid food and not understanding the plan of his diet. After got him settled and ok it was then time to map out his plan of his intake of solutions before his procedure and account for travel time as all this had to be done within a certain length of time. Needless to say the day of the procedure went smooth (Thank God).

Youtube being a Caregiver

This all happening while working one job, that is in total freak out mode as of the end of January, I will be leaving and moving on to new horizons. So light transitional contact will have to be there til they have more sure footing.

I know that my level of dedication, work ethic that had been above and beyond any call of duty, my level of sacrifice will not be matched. However, I do know that some level of my work is “replaceable”, for that I am no fool. When the value of a person that had done so much for so little is not appreciated or seen the value in, all the more revealing of a time to move on. For some, my missing presence will be felt, for others I am sure could careless if I am out of their life. I have had to grow to a place of knowing when to hold em and when to fold em so to speak.

I am learning to become grateful of weeks like this past week. I could have gotten offended, walled off, shut down, and gone completely off the deep end, instead I looked at every lesson as an opportunity to grow in some way. Whether it be identifying a trigger reaction within myself, realizing a level of pride that needs humbling, or seeing when I am in my flesh and not living by the spirit.

It is in this year 2021, that I want to change more of who I am in developing a Godly character in things that I long need to develop them in. I want to bot only manifest this next step that has been supported and governed by prayer and my prayer partners. That I want to manifest some big things into my life this year as well, things still unseen in the natural, but my spirit embraces them, my subconscious see’s the manifestation and my conscious faith will pull it into reality.

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💞Cynthia💞

These are the days…

Of Life During A Global Pandemic!

I don’t know about the rest of my readers, but this whole thing has taken my stress level to a new all time high!

Every day the rules change! Every day things are getting more scarce! Every day a new way to go about daily life is implemented!

When all this began it wasn’t to the level that it is now. Back then social distancing was a thing that was new. Then limits on how many people could get together. Then stores shutting down that were deemed non essential. Dining facilities closed, but allowing for take out or drive threw only.

Now government offices are closed. How you pay your bills has drastically changed many have closed down in person transactions and implemented non personal contact to conduct business. As of late we are now encouraged to wear masks when interacting in the public.

So, I had seen a tutorial on how to make some inexpensive cloth masks. So, I made some to have on hand. Even some extra to give to someone, but that changed so now I will just wait and see how things go, as I may need them as I still have to deal with public on the regular.

My daily living is constantly being challenged and constantly changing to the point its hard to keep up. So much so that its affecting my interpersonal stuff. But thats a whole blog post in itself that I will spare the world from of the betrayal and revealing of the truth of the matter that folks will stand hard with people who shorted them in things and use another to get what they want and just discard folk. But, thats ok like any other situation. It will only make me stronger!

In my down time yesterday, I needed an escape. An escape from everything! An escape from people! An escape from feeling closed in! An escape from feeling like my freedoms I still had weren’t being taken away. So, on my way home I took a brief detour. I visited the tulip fields that the near by Dutch heritage farmers plant yearly.

It was such a moment of pure escape that a storm began to creep up on me and I had to leave the experience. But, learning in these times to stop, slow down and experience life in a different way from the hustle and bustle is what this Pandemic is doing.

Earlier this past weekend I stopped to smell the roses and brought them home! They have opened up so beautifully the look like lil sunbursts on my desk.

The place I have found to go for walks has slowly been closing down parts to the public to implement social distancing and from large groups to be gathering. The fishing piers are slowly being closed off to prevent many from being in same close place together. Stores have begun to have door ways locked to deter inflow and outflow. A major chain box store only allows one way in and one way out currently. Gas stations are beginning to do the same.

So, what would be my encouragement to you in all this as I am sure other more impacted areas are having tighter restricitions.

Live the life you have been given to the best of your ability while staying safe and abiding the laws of the land. Is it fun or easy right now? No! To be honest I have complained the whole way through, now it is time for me to see the silver lining in it and keep putting one foot in front of the other.

So, when on my most recent walk to the park I took some pics of things I hadn’t really payed attention to out there before. I will share them below:

Taken while on a drive Monday
Moon Bloosoms
Bridge over trouble waters
Storm coming while at tulip farm
Clouds that resembled a feather while on a drive

One thing I will take away from all this is that sometimes its best to go back to just looking after your own self and taking care of your mental health.

“Rejoicing in hope; patient in tribulation; continuing instant in prayer;”
‭‭Romans‬ ‭12:12‬ ‭KJV‬‬

If you made it to the end of my blog thank you for taking the time to read and enjoy it! I hope it helps encourage you during these hard times!

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Strength for Others

God hasn’t provided us strength just for ourself, but its also for our neighbor!

There have been countless times in my life when I felt so weak in faith, drive and passion to go forward that I gave up a many a time.

It took people that were strong in the areas that I wasn’t to hoist me up by the under arm and tell me I could make it, God was with me and that I could do all things through Christ that strengthens me.

Now we who are strong ought to bear the weaknesses of those without strength and not just please ourselves. Each of us is to please his neighbor for his good, to his edification.
Romans 15:1‭-‬2 NASB

Those that have come along side ne and remained a constant in my life helping be a strength have never been stingy with sharing their strength with me. They have lifted me up and helped me walk in things, they have shown me I could do things I didn’t think possible.

They have gave of there abundance of strength even when theirs was lower than usual. We are to be a burden lifter for our neighbors.

It is by there example that I have learned to share my strength with others to help them if its not but listening, a kind word, a smile.

Strength that God has for us is not just for our own pleasure but to use to help others. This is a way to spread the love of God to the world.

Share your strength with others and be a light of Gods love!

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~Cynthia 😍

Take Hold of Wisdom

We should strive to possess wisdom!

Wisdom imparted should be wisdom gained! It is all based on a personal choice to accept or reject Godly wisdom.

For wisdom is protection just as money is protection, But the advantage of knowledge is that wisdom preserves the lives of its possessors.
Ecclesiastes 7:12 NASB

The more I take in wisdom and apply it into my personal life it becomes a protection for me.

But how so right?

Well…

I had wisdom shared with me about how I have been overly available to my job. I hadn’t set no boundary that when I was off work, I was off work!

I was always answering calls and messages and wasn’t getting paid to do such things. What happened as a result was me becoming stressed, burned out, overwhelmed, and full the more of anxiety.

Now setting boundaries and possessing the wisdom that has been imparted to me it has become a protection for my sanity. He gave us a spirit of a sound mind(self-control) I can control myself in how available I am (portion of 2 Tim 1:7).

The only way to preserve my life is to take in and adhear wisdom to my life as much as possible for it has the power to protect. Wisdom should be our sister as our closest confidant (Proverbs 7:4).

Wisdom cried out for me in this situation and countless others. I had to make a choice to take hold of wisdom or let it slip from my grip. I choose now after doing too much in my strength to allow wisdom to aide in my life. Won’t you?

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~Cynthia 😍